Hope, lies and regrets
by RustyPen
Summary: This story take place a few years after the movie ' The Heart Within'. Editor: Rachel Selina and Kruemi.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters of Dr Quinn Medicine Woman belong to Beth Sullivan and CBS.

I would like to start to thank all the gifted writers that have been supplying me with wonderful stories since the greatest tv show, **Dr Quinn Medicine Woman **ended. I have really enjoyed reading them and during the time a wish to make an attempt of my oven have develop. Before you read my story I must warn you; I'm not much of a writer and English is not my first language, but I will be grateful for all your help and support. / RustyPen

This is a rewritten version of chapter one. Chapter two will follow soon. Would like to take the opportunity to thank my (from now) editor, Rachel Selina, for all her help with this and coming chapters. Thank you! / Rusty Pen

Hope Lies and Regrets

Chap. 1

The landscape started to change outside the window, as the train got closer to its destination. It had been four years since the last time Dr Michaela Quinn had done the long journey from Colorado Springs to Boston. "Four years" she sighed and leaned back against the hard seat. That trip had been planned as a joyful family adventure; a chance to show young Katie the town where her mother had grown up, to meet Michaela's family, and a second honeymoon for Sully and herself. However, the most important thing of all – to see Colleen graduate from Harvard Medical College. Michaela still had to smile at the memory of the day her eldest daughter became Dr Colleen Cook, she had never been so proud in her entire life. But the smile soon disappeared, and her white glove-covered hand had to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

This time nothing would be the same; no mother to argue with, no home, no sisters – even Rebecca had died from cancer the year before. More tears streamed down her cheeks. Quickly she dried her face and glanced around to make sure no one had noticed her improper outburst. Once again she picked up the now quite worn telegram that Horace had come running with four days ago. Even though she must have read it over a hundred times by now and knew every word by heart, she could not help herself, and found herself reading it once more. "Dear Ma, Something's wrong with Colleen. Need you. Love, Brian" Michaela continued to stare at the paper. She was so worried that she felt sick.

Never had the distance between them felt so long. What did Brian mean? Was Colleen sick? Was she hurt? Michaela thought about the last time she had seen her daughter. It had been little over a year ago that Colleen had last visited her family in Colorado. Michaela missed her daughter like crazy, but with the building of her new hospital, Sully's effort to make the politicians spare some of the land, and Colleen and Andrew's new clinic in Boston, there just didn't seem to be enough time for the family to get together. Even though it had just been for a week, it had been so good to have her eldest daughter home again. It had taken Colleen a few days to open up, but then she had finally spoken with her mother about her unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant. With tears flooding down her face, she had revealed all her fears about never being able to have children, about not being woman enough to give her husband what he wanted the most. Michaela, who had experienced similar feelings, held her daughter in a tight embrace and let her cry. When Colleen had calmed down they had a deep conversation about marriage, love, pregnancy and even adoption. Michaela had also given her daughter a thorough examination, without finding any problems. Colleen had seemed so much more at ease when she left to go back to Boston. She had promised her mother to let Andrew know about all her fears and wishes.

According to her letters since, everything seemed fine. Michaela squirmed impatiently in the seat. On one hand she was terrified about what she was going to find out once she arrived in Boston, but on the other hand she could not wait to meet Brian. Michaela had not seen her youngest son for almost two years. He had spent the last years traveling and writing his way through Europe and must have just arrived back to Boston, the same day as he sent the telegram. He was supposed to finish an article for the Boston Globe and then come home to visit his family. They had been waiting for him to send word, but just not the kind message that he had sent.

Michaela had been forced to sit down after reading it. As the faithful friend he was, Horace had been staying by her side until she had been able to pull herself together. Then he had run back to his office to book her on the afternoon train to Denver. Michaela had hurried over to the café and explained the situation to Grace and Robert E, who without hesitation promised to look after Katie and the homestead until Sully returned from the surveying job that he was on at the moment. Then she made her way to the hospital and gave the newly employed Dr James Smith instructions to cover for her until she came back. The young doctor had seemed happy to assist and wished her a safe journey.

Michaela had climbed into the wagon that Robert E kindly had hitched up for her, and raced to homestead to pack, and was back in town just before the departure. Katie had finished school for the day, and was standing with Grace at the railway-station. Grace had tried to explain the situation to her, but the young girl did not understand why she could not go with her mother. "I want to see Colleen and Brian too!!" The little girl had expressed as soon as she saw her mother. The determined expression in her beautiful face, made her look even more like her mother. Michaela had put both her hands on the child's shoulders and bent down to look straight into her eyes. "I love you Katie and I wish I could take you with me. Believe me. But this time I just can't." Katie could clearly read the serious expression in her mother's eyes, and it scared her. "I'm sorry sweetheart. Do you promise to be good for Miss Grace and Robert E?" Katie had just given her a silent nod in response. Michaela had pulled her daughter in a tight embrace, and both of them had been crying, as the train pulled out of the station. As Michaela thought about their emotional parting, she made a mental note to send Katie a telegram as soon she could. Michaela looked as though she was sitting on nails, as the train finally pulled in at the Boston railway station.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The characters of Dr Quinn Medicine Woman belong to Beth Sullivan and CBS.

Chap. 2

Brian pulled his stylish coat tighter around his tall body, as he was standing at the railway station. It was still early autumn, but the air started to feel a little chilly. It wasn't just the air though; he had been chilled to the bones ever since he walked into Colleen and Andrew's clinic, when he first arrived back in Boston.

He hadn't been able to wait to see his beloved sister, and the minute he got off the vessel he had thrown his heavy bag over his shoulder, and had almost ran the short distance to her clinic. All the way there he had been thinking of how surprised she would be, and of all the fantastic experiences he wanted to share with her.

It had been quite late in the afternoon, and he had not expected the small waiting room to be as crowded as it was at this hour. The sound in the room had reduced to dead silence, as he made his way through it to take a seat just outside Colleen's door. As he gazed around he realized how out of place he must look in his fancy traveling suit. Most people in the room had been women and children, and judging by their clothes very poor. Brian's heart had been beaming with pride over the important job that his sister was obviously performing. He had smiled and winked to a pretty little girl, who had been staring at him with big, almost frightened eyes. Both the girl and her mother had given him a shy smile in response, and after a few minutes the room started to come alive again.

A boyish smile had covered his entire face as he saw Colleen's shocked expression when she opened the door. "No hug for your long lost little brother?" he had joked and pulled her into a brotherly bear hug. Colleen had winced at his touch. Even if she had been smiling at him Brian was terrified to see how pale and fragile she looked when he had released her. "Sorry, did I hurt you? Are you feeling alright?" Colleen had tried to give him a reassuring smile and shook her head. "Don't worry little brother; might just be coming down with the flu or something. Oh Brian, I can't believe you're finally here" She had squeezed his hands and asked him where he was staying, and he had told her the name of the hotel. Embarrassed, she had made a nod towards the crowded waiting room, and explained that Andrew had had to leave early for an unexpected meeting and that she was running a little behind, but that she would love to visit him at the hotel as soon as she was done with her patients. He had smiled and joked about how much she reminded him of their mother. "I'll take that as a compliment. And Brian – I'm so glad that you are finally back"

Colleen had never made it to the hotel that evening. Brian had waited until after eight o'clock, and then worriedly decided to go out and look for his sister. The clinic had been dark and deserted, so he had decided to check her apartment. After a few knocks the door had finally opened. Brian had hardly been able to recognize the grey person standing in front of him. "Andrew?" He could not believe how old and worn his brother-in-law looked. "Brian. I heard you were back in town," Andrew had returned with a nod. "Sorry to bother you at this hour, but I'm worried about Colleen. She was supposed to come and see me at the hotel, but never showed up." Brian had heard a noise from inside the apartment but was not able to see anything over the other man's shoulder. "Must have forgotten. She was really tired and is already in bed." Andrew had never left his position in the doorway, and made no attempts to ask Brian in. "Oh, I will just see her tomorrow then." Andrew only nodded, and it had been an awkward silence between the men. "Well goodnight then," Brian said as he started to back away. He had only managed two small steps when Andrew had muttered a goodnight and then closed the door.

Brian had hardly slept at all that night, and as soon as the first telegraph office had opened in the morning, he had wired his mother. He had not seen his sister since that first day in the clinic. He had been working long hours in the newspaper office, and every time he made an attempt to see her Andrew had come up with an excuse.

His mother – Dr Mike. Even standing in the cold railway station Brian was unable to suppress a smile at the thought of her. It was times like this that it really hit him how incredibly lucky they all had been; Matthew, Colleen and himself, to get a new mother as special as theirs. He could not even imagine his life without all her love, protection and challenges. She had made him a better person, and he loved her more than life itself. He had not been surprised when he received Horace's reply, with his mother's arrival details. Knowing his mother, he knew that she must be worried sick by now, and he felt bad for upsetting her like that, but he just didn't know what else to do. His thoughts were interrupted as the train finally made its way into the station.

Michaela was the first passenger off the train, and Brian started running the minute he spotted her. Both of them were smiling widely as Brian swept her of her feet in a tight embrace. Happy tears streamed down her cheeks as Michaela hugged her loved son, who she had not seen for so long, and she never wanted to let go.

Still holding his hands Michaela took a step back. "Let me look at you. Where have you hidden my little boy?" Her heart was over flowing with love at the sight of the handsome young man in front of her. He was more than a head taller than her by now, and even though he had a slender body structure, he looked strong and well trained. His face was the face of a man, even though it still had its boyish charm. She pulled him into another hug.

"Ma, you don't have any idea how good it is to see you" Brian's voice almost cracked with emotions. The familiar scent of her hair as he embraced her was such a relief. He felt as though he was eight years old again, and there was nothing that his mother could not fix. For the first time in several days he felt warm. He smiled as he took in her wonderful appearance. Some of her still coppery brown hair had escaped from the knot in the neck, and was framing her beautiful face. She looked a little tired, and he thought that she might be a little thinner than the last time he saw her, but she still moved with the same graceful energy that he loved. "Are you tried? Want to go to the hotel?" Both of them grew serious, and Dr Mike looked straight into his eyes. "No, I want to see Colleen_."_


	3. Chapter 3

Chap

Chap. 3

It was three o'clock in the afternoon, and Colleen felt dead tired. Sitting by her desk updating the file for her latest patient, she drank a glass of water, and tried to cool down her feverish flushed face with a wet piece of cloth. Her entire body ached as she forced herself to stand in order to call for her next patient. With Andrew missing, she still had quite a lot of people left to see before closing up. She straightened her hair, took a deep breath and opened the door. "Ma!!" Colleen felt all air leave her lungs, as she found herself standing face to face with her mother. Suddenly all her energy was gone, and she fell into her mother's arms crying uncontrollably.

Michaela, who had been just about to knock on the door as it had opened, was now totally frozen in place, with her crying daughter in her arms. Struggling to keep the weight of Colleen's slackened body upright, she almost pushed her daughter back into her office. Noticing out of the corner of her eye that Brian had closed the door behind them. All alone she gave in to the weight, and slowly lowered Colleen and herself to the floor. The young woman crawled up like a small child in her embrace, and Michaela held her tight and slowly rocked her. She was terrified to feel how hot and clearly worn out her loved child felt.

"Colleen, sweetheart…"Michaela's voice was soft and low, as she tried to make a contact with her still quietly sobbing daughter. "We need to get you home so that you can rest" Colleen made a weak attempt to get up. "No, no… Got to work… My patients…" Exhausted she fell back against Michaela. "Ooh sweetheart, you are sick. You can't see any patients now. Where's Andrew?" Colleen grew stiff, "At lunch", her voice barely audible. Michaela wrinkled her forehead, but she didn't say anything, apart from, "Then I will stay here and see your patients. Brian will take you home" She felt Colleen relax again, and gave her a final hug before standing to get Brian. "Straight in bed" she called after her son, as he carried his sister out of the clinic. Then she forced herself to focus on the patients in the waiting room and asked the first one, Mr. Anderson; a really old and dirty man, to enter Colleen's office.

Michaela was standing in office door waving goodbye to her last patient; a sweet little girl with a nasty cut on her arm. God she was tired. The smile that she had put on, for the sake of the brave little girl, shifted to grimace as she went back inside to remove Colleen's apron that she had been using. 'Colleen,' the thought of her obviously ill daughter gave her new energy. She had spent the last four hours seeing the patients that had been waiting in the waiting room, and now she didn't want to lose another second, before taking care of her own child. 'Where was Andrew? Why had he never come back to the clinic?' She could only hope that he had gone straight home, and that he now was taking care of his wife. But she felt worried.

It had grown dark outside as Michaela went out to look the door. The clinic was located in one of the more underprivileged parts of the town, and she felt a little uneasy, being out alone. She smiled to herself and shook her head. 'Silly me', and then started walking towards Andrew and Colleen's apartment. She knew the way, but could never stop to be amazed over how much her old hometown seemed to grow between each of her visits.

She had just managed a few steps when she heard someone running behind her, and felt a strong hand grab her arm. Michaela went stiff with fear. "Miss Doctor, help, please, Miss Doctor" the words hardly audible because of the man's heavy breathing. "Please, my son…"the man grew silent, letting go of her arm as if he was burnt, when she turned around. "Sorry Mame, I thought you were Miss Doctor" Still too shocked to speak, Michaela found herself standing face to face to a gigantic black man, who was bending forward, with his hands on his knees, trying to control his heavy breathing. She could see nothing but panic in his eyes, as he turned and started running in the same direction that he had come from. "WAIT!!" she heard her own voice call out. "Wait, I'm Dr Quinn" As the man turned to face her once more, his expression changed between relief, surprise, fear and doubt. He hesitated. "You are a real doctor?" Michaela nodded. "Yes, I'm filling in for Dr Cook today. How may I help you?" The man breathed a sigh of relief. "My son. There was an accident. He's stuck under a heavy box in the port. PLEASE, he needs a doctor" His eyes begging now. Michaela needed nothing more. All the fear was gone; all she could think of was the little boy under the box that clearly needed her help. "Show me the way" The man quickly helped her put her clumsy traveling bag back into the clinic, and then picked up her doctor bag, while she relocked the door. Together they started running through the dark streets towards the harbor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chap. 4**

Michaela was struggling to keep up with the much taller man when they reached the dark harbor area. Further in she saw a weak light, and as they got closer a small crowd of people. A dark form broke out from the crowd, and started moving towards them. "DAD?! Dad, he's starting to wake up! He's actually waking up!" They almost bumped into the eager young man, very similar in looks to the man leading the way. "I got a doctor", the older man breathed and gesticulated towards Michaela.

As the worried crowd broke up, in order to let the three of them pass, Michaela saw a middle aged woman kneeling beside a little boy, who was lying on the muddy ground. Michaela rushed to the little boy, and as she knelt at his other side, she noticed that he was indeed starting to wake up. She looked up, and her eyes met the worried ones of the woman sitting across. Michaela tried to give her a reassuring smile, and then carefully started to examine the now moaning boy.

"What's your name Sweetheart?" Michaela was almost done with the examination, and the child's big brown eyes; filled with both fear and pain, were following her every move. "Anthony. His name is Anthony," the woman spoke with a cracked voice, as the boy had remained silent "I'm Dr Quinn, but you may call me Dr Mike" Michaela smiled at both the boy and the woman. "That's what another little boy called Anthony always used to call me. You remind me of him. He was the bravest boy I have ever met." Her warm smile turned a little mournful at the thought of Grace and Robert E's lost son. The boy in front of her really did remind her of Anthony, even more so now, as he gave her a shy but very wide smile. "So, Mr. Anthony, you seem to have been a very lucky boy. That is a very heavy box," she made a nod towards the wooden box that was now standing a few yards away. "But I need you to be brave for me a little bit longer, okay?'' Turning to the two men standing behind her, she continued: "I need you to hold him as I set his arm and leg, unfortunately because of his head injury I can't give him anything for the pain." The men nodded gravely, and took up the positions as the doctor had instructed. The woman stayed in her place, holding the boy's good hand, with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry Anthony, this is going to hurt, but then it's going to feel better and we can bring you inside to a soft warm bed, okay?" The boy nodded, and tried to put on a brave face.

After she had finished setting, and stabilizing the boy's broken arm and leg, his father had carefully carried the boy to the little shed, where the family lived. His mother had gathered everything she could find, in order to make Anthony a soft bed. After being given some willow-bark tea and a dry nightshirt, the boy finally managed to fall asleep. Mike eyed the boy's parents, and older brother seriously and told them, "He needs to stay in bed for at least four days, and because of his head injury it's very important that you monitor him closely for the next two days. If he starts to show any of the symptoms that I described earlier, I want you to come and get me or Dr Cook straight away no matter what time, okay?" Noting three nods, with corresponding serious, frightful, faces, Michaela smiled softly and said, in an effort to reassure, "I will be back and check on him tomorrow, try to get some rest now."

Michaela started walking towards the door. "Mame, please wait," the boy's mother, who had tears in her eyes, put a hand on Michaela's shoulder. "I don't know how to thank you, and we don't even have anything to give you, but we will get money – I promise… And your dress, look, we have destroyed your beautiful dress…" The woman was really crying now. Surprised, Michaela looked down at her dress, and was unable to suppress a smile; she had not even realized that she was completely covered in mud. She pulled the obvious shocked, and just as dirty woman, into a warm and comforting embrace. "It's over now. Anthony is going to be okay. He is a very brave and lucky boy, you know. He's going to be fine." Still holding the crying woman. "And don't worry about the money. I'm just happy that I was able to help. And when it comes to my dress," she was laughing now, "I guess that I will just have to wash it." With that all the tension seemed to leave the room, and all four of them shared a relieved laugh. Suddenly realizing that their manners had left them, and this kind lady doctor had no idea who she had been talking to, the father quickly remedied that by saying, "Oh my, we have not even introduced ourselves, I'm Bill Free, this is my wife Bettie and our oldest son, Pete." Seeing a small smile appear on the doctor's face, he added, "I will walk you home Mame," the father walked up by her side. "Thank you, but please call me Dr Mike."

It started to rain heavily as they walked through the sleeping town, and even though she was wearing Mr. Free's coat, Michaela was soaking wet and chilled to the bones, when they reached the building where the Cook's lived. Mr. Free had proven to be a very talkative person, and with sad eyes, he told Michaela that Mrs. Free recently had lost her cleaning job, and that was the reason why little Anthony had been forced to work with Peter and himself in the port. The father was almost beaming with pride, when he told her that Anthony actually had been attending school, and that he was even able to read.

Michaela was almost knocked over by the door, as Brian pulled it open. "MA!!" He looked wild, as he stared at his soaked and muddy mother. "Ma, what happened? Where have you been? I have been sick with worry!!" He looked between Michaela and the huge man standing behind her. "I'm so sorry Brian! Mr. Free's son had an accident. I left a message at the clinic. Isn't Andrew home yet?" Brian just shook his head, feeling a huge wave of relief rush through his body, as he finally realized that his mother really was safe and sound. "How's Colleen?" Michaela eyed him worriedly. "The same. She's sleeping. Only woke up once, and I made her drink some tea." Michaela started shaking. "You are soaked Ma! You need to get out of those wet clothes" Brian gently pulled her into the house. "I know, I will just check on Colleen first," she gave Brian a tired smile. "I will get your bag Mame – Dr Mike I mean," Bill started backing out in the rain again. "Bill no, you don't have to. I will get it tomorrow," Michaela broke free from Brian. "No, I will get it for you. It's the least I can do." Bill started walking. Brian met his mother's gaze. "Wait. I will join you," Brian handed Bill one of Andrew's coats, kissed his mother and the two men walked of in the night.

Worriedly Michaela bent over her sleeping daughter, stroked some stray hair from her feverish face and softly kissed her forehead. "I love you Colleen," she softly whispered in the silence.


	5. Chapter 5

Chap. 5

After making Colleen drink some more tea, and making sure that she was resting comfortably, Michaela brought one of Colleen's nightdresses into the small guestroom, to change from her wet clothes. She was touched to see that Brian had prepared the bed for her. She had just slipped into the warm and dry nightdress, and was working on drying her hair, when she heard the front door slam. She froze, as she heard heavy boots moving towards the kitchen. The sound of porcelain being crushed followed by. "COLLEEN, YOU LITTLE WHORE – WERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD??" The heavy boots moved towards Colleen's bedroom.

Moving into the hallway, and shocked by the sight before her, Michaela still holding the towel, stopped in her daughter's doorway. "YOU LAZY WHORE!!" Andrew was dragging Colleen over the floor by her hair. "STOP!!" Michaela's voice was almost in falsetto, as she rushed towards her daughter. Both Colleen and Andrew's faces turned to her in surprise, but all Michaela could see was her daughter's bloody face and blurry eyes, which tried to focus on the source of the voice.

Pain suddenly exploded in Michaela's jaw, and she found herself laying on the floor, with Andrew bending over her. "I didn't even know that we were honored by your presence, Michaela…" Andrew's voice was slightly slurred, and his breath stinking by alcohol. Stunned, Michaela tried to crawl towards Colleen. Andrew hollowly laughed. "Not giving up, are you? Michaela Quinn – always have to be the hero, don't you," he stated with a bitter voice, as he bent down and dragged her to her feet. He was just about to hit her again when Colleen weakly grabbed his leg. "No, not Ma. Please," her last word hardly spoken before she was sent to darkness by a hard kick in her stomach. "NO," Michaela's scream still echoed in her head, when Andrew forcefully grabbed her shoulders and threw her against the wall. The hard stone against her back made her lose her breath, and she slowly slid to the floor.

Michaela was half lying on the floor, her back against the wall, struggling to breath, trying to focus on her attacker, who wide-legged stood almost over her. "I'm going to teach you who's the man in this house." Terrified, and still unable to move, Michaela saw her former colleague, her son-in-law, unbutton his pants.

.

Instantly awake, Sully sat bolt upright in the dark. Fear was pumping through his veins, he couldn't breathe. 'MICHAELA', he had to find her. He struggled to get up from his bedroll. Pain, so much pain - then nothing, Sully found himself lying flat on his stomach on the ground, breathing heavily. He got up on his knees, and found himself staring into his brother's face. "Cloud Dancing?" Sully wasn't sure if his friend was real. "Haho," Cloud Dancing helped Sully up on his feet. Seeing both confusion and fear in his brother's eyes, Cloud Dancing continued; "I was given a vision, but I now see that you have seen it also. The spirits told me to come here. They told me you must go." Tears were running down Sully's dirty cheeks, leaving lighter stripes, where they cut through the grime. He was still holding Cloud Dancing's hand, his voice barely audible. "Michaela – please tell me she's alright…" Cloud Dancing met his brother's gaze with a compassionate expression on his face. "The spirits did not tell. You need to go. I will bring your company back to town." Surprised, Sully turned, and looked on the still sleeping senator and his younger assistant. He had actually forgotten their presence. "Thanks," Sully started towards his horse. "Travel safe my friend," Cloud Dancing's voice low, as he watched Sully disappear in the darkness. He sat down by the fire, and offered a prayer to the Spirits, begging them to keep his friends – his family safe.


	6. Chapter 6

Chap

Chap. 6

Andrew, who was clearly intoxicated, lost his balance and landed hard, with one of his knees in Michaela's side. She heard a rib crack and screamed out in pain, but Andrew didn't seem to notice, he changed his position; sitting across her, pressing her back against the floor. The disgusting smell of his breath, only inches from her face, almost made her vomit, but as she tried to turn her head away, Andrew roughly grabbed her jaw and forced her to face him. "Who's the boss now, Michaela?!" spitting in her face as he spoke.

Terrified, Michaela stared at the man on top of her, who was he? She didn't recognize anything of the sweet and caring young man she used to know, the man that only a few years earlier had promised to love and honor her oldest daughter. This man had even examined Michaela herself when she had her miscarriage, and tried to comfort her afterwards. He had actually saved her life! She now fought not to panic. The only thing she knew was that she had to get him off her and away from Colleen. Gathering all the strength she possessed, Michaela gave Andrew a sudden push in his chest, twisting her own body to the side as she did. Taken by surprise, Andrew lost his balance, which gave Michaela the opportunity to strike again. With no hesitation, she kneed him with all her might.

Crawling over the floor, Michaela had almost reached her still unconscious daughter, when Andrew grabbed her ankle and started pulling her back. "NOOO, please, don't do this, please" she was begging now. "You little bitch" Andrew hissed out through clenched teeth, as he once again nailed her to floor beneath him. Stuck as she was, Michaela could only close her eyes when Andrew, in uncontrolled anger raised his fist.

She waited, but instead of the expected pain she felt the pressure, that had been pinching her to the floor, almost choking her, suddenly disappear. "MA!!" The sound of Brian's terrified voice made her open her eyes. Looking up, she saw Mr. Free's huge form standing over her, as he easily threw the much smaller man across the room, into the opposite corner. Then her vision was blocked, and she found herself looking directly into Brian's worried eyes, as he knelt by her side. "MA, you okay Ma?! Please say something," he pleaded. He helped her, as she groggily started to sit up. Her mouth felt dry and her voice barely audible as she croaked Colleen's name, and once again started crawling towards her lifeless daughter.

With tears streaming down her face, Michaela fearfully examined her daughter. Relived to have at least found a pulse, she carefully removed some of Colleen's beautiful hair that had stuck in the blood that was smeared in her pale face. "Ma's here Colleen. It's going to be okay" Michaela whispered, as she bent down kissing the young woman's forehead. She felt Brian's protective hand on her back, while he worriedly watched her examine his sister. "She's okay? Please tell me she going to be alright?" Michaela met his tear-filled eyes and replied, "I don't know, I truly don't know"

Brian bolted right up. Where was he? Where was that stinking asshole, who had treated his sister like this? All his fears suddenly turned into anger, and for the first time in his life, the normally very peaceful young man, actually felt like killing. Anger was hammering in his head, and almost drowned his mother's pleading words, as she grabbed his arm in an attempt to hold him back. "Brian, no. Please Brian. He's not worth it" He fought himself free, and aggressively turned towards his goal. Abruptly he froze, in the middle of a step, just staring at the picture before him. There he was, little Andrew, curled up in the corner, holding his bleeding nose and crying like a baby. Confused, Brian sought Bill's gaze, who was standing beside him. Bill looked just as confused. None of them knew what to do with the pathetic drunk in front of them.

"Please" Michaela's soft voice made both men turn back towards her, where she sat holding her daughter. "We need to get her out of here" Brian hesitated. "What about him?" Michaela followed his gaze towards Andrew. Watching her son in law, she didn't know what to think; the man that only minutes earlier had behaved like a total monster, now looked like a frightened child. She shook her head. "Leave him" Bill was already kneeling by her side. "I will take her Mame" Brian still hadn't moved. Michaela had never seen her youngest son filled with so much hatred. It scared her. "Please Brian, Colleen needs that blanket", she nodded towards the bed. To Michaela's relief, his sister's needs won the battle within her son, and he quickly went to get the blanket.

Bill carefully lifted Colleen, who had been wrapped in the warm blanket, and turned to go out of the bedroom. Michaela winced as Brian helped her stand. "You okay Ma?" Brian worriedly eyed her. Michaela forced a reassuring smile. "I will be" The two of them stopped in the doorway and gave Andrew one last glance. He was still curled up and didn't even seem to realize that they were leaving. In order to get Brian's attention back, Michaela softly squeezed his hand, and they finally left.

Bill was waiting by the wide-open main door. "Where too?" Four eyes turned towards Michaela, and she desperately tried to focus. "Let's go to my hotel" Brian was already on his way out the door, but Michaela was still standing holding on to the wall. "No, wait. He will find us there" She shook her head. Bill cleared his throat. "It's not much, but you are welcome to stay at my place. He will never find you there" Michaela gave him a grateful look, but remembering the little shed, she again shook her head. "Thank you, but Colleen could be having internal bleeding, and might need an operation. She needs to be in a hospital" Now it was Brian's turn to shake his head. "Won't that be the first place he will start looking for her?" Michaela closed her eyes, really trying to focus her cloudy mind. She felt dizzy, and would have fallen if it weren't for Brian, who had seen his mother's dizzy spell, and quickly moved to support her. "William", she opened her eyes. "William will help".

Brian helped her into her already soaked coat, grabbed her heavy bag, which had been thrown just inside the door, and supported her as they made their way out in the cold rain.


	7. Chapter 7

Chap. 7

William restlessly turned on to his stomach, pulling the pillow over his head, unconsciously tying to block out whatever it was that was disturbing his sleep. "William, please William, wake up", he slowly became aware of his wife's hand on his shoulder. Still half asleep he looked up, straining himself to concentrate on his wife. "It's the middle of the night, what's the problem?" Sighing as he spoke, he forced himself up on one elbow. To tell the truth, he felt really irritated. He had had his favorite dream, his cherished dream that he had had regularly for years now, ever since that day he had first met the love of his life. He still remembered how wonderful that dream had felt in the beginning, when he still had hope, and how that same dream had been hunting him, just after she had broken his heart. That was the reason he had married. In a desperate attempt to block out the high-spirited mismatched eyes, that shone towards him every time he closed his eyes. He had tracked down a woman, whose appearance at least reminded him about the woman of his heart, and asked her to marry him. Needless to say it had been a mistake. Quite soon everything about her personality, or should he say lack of personality, made him irritated. All he had left was his dream.

He sighed loudly again. "There is someone trying to break in downstairs, can't you hear?" she whispered, and looked at him with big frightened eyes. He listened carefully, and then bolted straight up in bed. His heart was pounding. Mollie was right, there was loud noise from his clinic below, and he suddenly remembered that he had given Herman and Beth, the old couple that worked for him, the night off. Slowly he rose from the bed and reached for his robe. Trying to sound brave, he turned towards his wife. "It's probably nothing, but I want you to lock the door behind me. I will go down and see what it is all about" She nodded shakily and followed him to their bedroom door.

The banging against the door became louder the further down the stairs he went. He could hear his own heartbeat echo in his head as he nervously entered his dark clinic, and silently made his way towards the door. Standing just inside the door he took a deep breath. "Go away – I'm armed", William forced himself not to let his voice crack. The banging stopped abruptly. "Dr Burke?!" The eager voice of a young man reached him through the door. "Yes?" William hesitated before he answered. "We are in need of your assistance. Please let us in?" Afraid that it was an attempt to trick him, William didn't dare open the door. "I'm not on duty, you will have to go to the hospital" His words were met by dead silence, and he could only hear the heavy rain smashing against the street outside. "William please" the soft voice barely audible through the rain, and the massive door. Shocked, William just stood there, staring at the door. Could it be? Was it possible? Had it just been his imagination? "Please William, it's Michaela Quinn. I'm begging you to let us in"

Shocked, William stumbled backwards. The door had swung straight open the minute he unlocked it. A huge black man carrying a lifeless form entered the room. And there she was appearing in the doorway, supported by a tall young man. Unable to move, he just stood there staring at her, as she quickly moved past him and gesticulated for the huge man to place his burden on the examination table. She was soaked to the bones, and her wet hair clung to her pale face. God, she was beautiful!

Effectively, Michaela unwrapped the wet blanket that had been protecting Colleen. A sigh of relief escaped from her lips, as she checked her daughter's vitals. At least the long walk in the cold rain had not made her condition worse. Her eyes never leaving her still unconscious daughter, she spoke; "We need to get her out of these wet clothes" William woke from his trance and quickly moved to her side. "I will assist. Please fill me in" Giving William a grateful look, Michaela turned towards her son. "Brian, could you please see if there is a dry nightdress in the bag for Colleen?" Effectively she started working on Colleen while she started update her colleague on their patient's medical status.

Starting to feel out of place, Bill hesitantly cleared his throat. "Mame – I mean Dr Mike. Will you be all right here for now? I mean, eehh, I think maybe I ought to go home to my son…" Abruptly Michaela, who in her concerned of her daughter, actually had forgotten about his present, turned to him. "Oh, Bill I'm so sorry. I didn't think. Of course you must go!" Taking his big hand between the both of hers, tears filling her eyes, she spoke with a low voice, "I don't even know how to thank you for all you've done for us…" With warmth, Bill used his remaining hand to cover hers. "Let's call it even. Please let me know if there is anything more I can do" He squeezed her hands before letting go, and started to walk towards the door. "You know where to find me if you need me", Michaela called after him before once again concentrating on her daughter.

Brian and William both worriedly watched Michaela, as she sat beside her feverish daughter, holding her hand. After giving Colleen a thorough examination, and dressing her in a dry nightdress, they had moved her to a comfortable bed in one of the guestrooms. Shocked by the sight of all the bruises and injuries on her beloved daughter's body, Michaela had not spoken a word since. "Please Ma, you need to get into some dry clothes" Brian gently squeezed her shoulder. Softly promising his mother that Colleen wouldn't be alone, by saying, "I will stay with her", however Michaela refused to let go of Colleen's hand. Brian felt William's hand on his arm. "Listen to me Mike" William's voice sounded like a stern father's. "You will not do Colleen any good by getting sick. You need to get dried up and at least drink some warm tea." Longingly reaching out towards her badly bruised jawbone, but not daring to touch her, he softly added: "And we have to try to do something about that bruise…" Silently he just stood there, taking in her appearance, until much to his embarrassment he felt Brian's disapproving gaze. Needing to have some space to gather himself, he hastily added, "I will ask Mollie to help you" and with that, the slightly red faced William turned to get his wife.

With Brian's help, Michaela made an attempt to stand, as William entered the room with a very hesitant Mollie behind him. Wincing by the stabbing pain in her side, Michaela dizzily sat back on the chair. William immediately rushed to her side. "My God Mike! Why didn't you tell me?!"

It was early dawn as Michaela, tiredly leaning on Mollie, made it back to the still unconscious Colleen. Despite her stubborn protests, William had not taken no for an answer, and had with help of his quite awkward wife, given her a thorough examination. Shocked by the sight before him, and with eyes filled with mixed emotions, he had diagnosed her with several broken ribs. Mollie, who had never seen her husband so nervous and filled with emotions, quietly observed the scene before her. A part of her really felt for the bruised woman before her, but another part of her felt real unease at the way her husband behaved around her; the way he looked at her, the gentle way he touched her. She felt sick. Swallowing her pride, Mollie had carefully helped Michaela out of her wet clothes, dried her up, and thoughtfully helped her into one of her own nightdresses. Mollie had offered to make the bed for her in the other guestroom, but much to William's disapproval, Michaela had strongly insisted on sleeping next to Colleen. "But you really need to rest. You know as well as I do that your condition is…" Much to her surprise, Mollie had watched Michaela cut her usually very superior husband off by just lifting her hand. "I will rest beside my daughter" Impressed by the other woman's natural authority, Mollie had hurried to Michaela's side as she determinedly had started towards her daughter's room.

Brian abruptly stood when he heard the door open. Michaela saw his worry, and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm okay. I'm just a little tired. How's your sister?" Brian, not really knowing what to believe, watched Michaela lovingly feel the temperature on Colleen's forehead. "No change", he stated and she gave him a confirming nod. Protectively, Brian helped his mother to lie down next to Colleen, before kissing her pale forehead, and silently leaving the room after Mollie.

Holding Colleen's warm hand, Michaela exhaustedly drifted off to a much-needed sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chap 8

It was still early morning when Senator Morse slowly started to wake. Relaxed, he stretched out his a mildly aching body, and became aware of all the peaceful sounds of the nature. Feeling the chilly, fresh mountain air against his face, he had to smile to himself. He had been so angry when he had first learnt about this assignment; that his time and knowledge weren't worth more than that, but after a few days in the wilderness, he reluctantly had to admit to himself that he had been wrong. The days out in the beautiful landscape had proven to be among the best in his life; the peaceful silence, the excitement of hunting, the powerful landscape, sleeping under the stars – he felt so at ease. The wonderful smell of coffee finally made him open his eyes, but as he started to sit up he gasped in fear. Instead of the man of few words, whose presence had made him feel inexplicable safe, there was an Indian sitting by the fire. A real Indian!

Woken by his boss's sudden movement, young Roberts clumsily started to fumble after his thick glasses, in order to see what was going on. Sensing the older man's fear, but not being able to find his glasses, almost made him cry. Why was he here? What had he done wrong to be sent on this trip to hell? The young man clearly didn't share the senator's enthusiasm; his skinny body hurt after days on horseback, and sleeping on the ground, and he was afraid of the animals. He felt disgusted by the feeling of dirt and sweat on his almost transparent skin, and hated not having access to a proper bathtub. Finally finding his glasses, he stared at the man in front of him.

Cloud Dancing's face showed no signs of the amusement that he felt, as he watched the scene before him. "Haho, Coffee is ready" he simply stated and nodded towards the pot that was hanging over the fire. "What?" Senator Morse remained half sitting, staring at him, and the younger man slowly started to crawl backwards. Cloud Dancing's face still didn't reveal any feelings, as he once again made a nod towards the pot. "I said, coffee is ready", Cloud Dancing pronounced each word slowly and very clearly, as if speaking to a young child who didn't understand. "You, you speak English?" the mix between fear and surprise was written all over the Senator's face, as he carefully shifted his body to a more comfortable sitting position. Roberts' crawling ended as his back pressed against a big oak. Both men stared at the Indian as he just shrugged his shoulders, picked up a cup and poured himself some coffee. "Where is Mr Sully?" Morse cautiously asked. "The Spirits said that he had to leave. I will bring you home", Cloud Dancing simply started sipping on his coffee.

"Ma?" Somewhere deep in her foggy sleep Michaela slowly became aware of Colleen's soft voice. Instantly awake, Michaela turned to look at her daughter. Was it just a dream or had Colleen actually said her name? Their hands still linked together, as Michaela with some effort reached over with her free hand to softly feel Colleen's forehead. The fever had broken. Sensing her mother's touch, Colleen slowly opened her swollen eyes, and weakly turned to look at her mother. "Ma?" her weak voice held both confusion and fear. "It's okay Sweetheart. It's okay" Michaela's fingers giving Colleen's badly bruised face a feather light caress, and tears started to shine in both their eyes. "You are safe now Colleen. We both are." Carefully crawling as deep into her mother's safe embrace as their bruised bodies would allow, Colleen once again drifted off to a healing sleep. Relived, Michaela silently thanked God for letting her keep her daughter, before once again giving in to her exhaustion and fall back to sleep.

That was the way Brian found them, as he silently entered the room an hour later. He had spent the last hours tossing and turning in the room that Mollie had showed him, after they had left his mother and sister to rest. Despite his exhaustion, it had been impossible to fall asleep. The pictures of his sister's lifeless and badly abused body, and the memory of Andrew sitting atop of his mother with a raised fist, haunted him every time he closed his eyes. Finally he had given in to his need to make sure that his loved ones were safe. Standing there watching them peacefully sleep, huddled close together in the centre of the big bed; Brian was hit by how close he had come to losing them. Not being able to hold back his tears any longer, the young man stood just inside the door silently crying.

Woken by Brian's muffled sobs, Michaela's eyelids worriedly fluttered open. Seeing her crying son, she reached out a hand for him. Brian quickly crept across the room to take his mother's hand in his own. Looking deep into Brian's emotional and exhausted eyes, Michaela simply made room for him in the bed. Being careful not to hurt his mother, Brian laid down as close to her warm body as he could. Feeling his mother's hand lovingly caress his hair, he let out a sigh of relief and was finally able to drift into sleep.

It was almost noon when Michaela opened her eyes again. Looking up at the unfamiliar ceiling, she felt confused. The sharp pain in her side brought back her memory. Turning her head to the right, she looked straight into Colleen's badly bruised face, only inches away from her own. She could feel the warmth of Colleen's breath leaving her slightly open mouth. Her small nose was totally blocked by the swollen bruise, which covered the entire left side of her normally pretty face. Her swollen lips were cracked, and even though Michaela had carefully washed her face during the night, it still wore traces of dried blood. Michaela felt pain in her heart watching the face that she loved. What she wouldn't give to take away all her daughter's pain? Lightly she put her hand over Colleen's forehead and was relieved to find her temperature back to normal. Turning her head to the left, she had to smile. Resting his forehead against her shoulder lay Brian, with his tall body curled up like a small child. Softly she let her fingers glide over his relaxed chin, amazed at the sharp stubble beard against her touch. He was very much a man, but still her little boy.

Slowly Brian became aware about his mother's touch and sheepishly opened his eyes. "Hi", his voice hoarse from sleep. "I'm sorry Brian, I didn't mean to wake you", Michaela whispered. Dragging himself up on his elbow, Brian gave her a warm smile. "I think it's probably time to get out of bed anyway", he replied with a low voice not to disturb his still sleeping sister. "She okay?" he asked giving Colleen a concerned gaze. "Fever broke", Michaela stated with a soft smile, letting her fingers run through Colleen's long hair. "What time is it?" she asked her son. Almost as a response Brian's stomach rumbled loudly, "Time to eat?" Brian's amusing reply caused them both to start laugh. Holding her side, her face turning into a grimace, Michaela pretended to give Brian an accusing look. "Don't you dare make me laugh young man."


	9. Chapter 9

Chap. 9

A heavy silence filled the dining room, as the old sullen housekeeper showed mother and son, to house's master and mistress, who were stiffly sitting at opposite sides of a huge table. "Dr. Burke, Dr. Quinn and Mr. Cooper are awake now," the gray-haired woman quietly muttered as she opened the door. William was instantly on his feet, wiping his mouth with the white napkin that had been lying in his knee. "Mike – eehh – good morning – eehh – Brian…" His nervous gaze never leaving Michaela's face, almost forgetting the young man at her side. "How are you feeling today?" William clumsy stumbled over his own feet, as he eagerly started across the room in order to get closer to Michaela. "Much better thank you" Michaela awkwardly stated, changing her position, which put Brian between herself and her colleague. Even though she felt an immense amount of gratitude for everything that William had done, for her children and herself, she could not suppress the nagging feeling of unease, which filled her every time he looked at her. Noticing Mike's reaction, and feeling embarrassed William took a step back. "And your daughter?" Thinking of her sleeping daughter, Michaela gave him a sad smile. "She's sleeping, but the fever has broken." Relieved by the news, but maybe even more by Mike's smile, William nodded. "That's good to hear."

An awkward silence once again filled the room, Brian, in an attempt to brighten up the atmosphere, cleared out his trout, "Dr. Burke, Mrs. Burke." Greeting William with a polite nod, and the woman at the table, with one of his warm and charming smiles. "Mr. Cooper. Dr. Quinn. You must be hungry, please join us for lunch." Mollie said, politely returning the sweet young man's smile. "Beth, please set the table for our guests." After making some kind of confirming noise, Beth left the room. Michaela and Brian shared a secret smile; the grumpy old housekeeper strongly reminded them of their dear friend Mr. Bray.

After finishing his lunch, William hesitantly stood, and declared that it was time for him to return to his practice. Worriedly glancing between Michaela's almost untouched plate, and her pale bruised face, he softly advised her to go back to bed, and offered to give her something for the pain. Michaela politely shook her head. "Thank you William, but I have got all I might need in my medical bag." She grew silent once again. Returning her attention to her plate of food, where she continued to just push the morsels around in a circle. However, lost in thought as she was, Michaela abruptly looked back up. "But may I please use your kitchen to brew some Willow-bark tea for Colleen?" At this Mollie, who hadn't said a word since she had asked Beth to set the table for their guests, suddenly laughed out loud.

Surprised, all eyes in the room turned towards the laughing woman. Embarrassed by his wife's strange behavior, William loudly cleared his throat; "Of course you may. But please do not overstrain yourself. I'm sure that Beth would be happy to brew some tea for your daughter." Michaela gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you William, but I would like to do it myself." Michaela's last statement seemed to amuse Mollie even more, and once again she regained every ones attention. "You want to use Beth's kitchen?" Mollie said, with a scornful smile on her face. "During the ten years that I have been living in this house, I have never dared to set my foot in that room. Beth is guarding it with her life." She paused, in order to let her words sink in, before looking Michaela directly in the eyes, and saying with a hint of a dare in her voice, "But you are welcome to try."

"Why don't you lie down and rest now Ma?" Brian's hand gently resting on Michaela's shoulder, as she silently sat on the bedside watching Colleen's sleeping face. Michaela softly covered his hand with her own and gave it a thankful squeeze. Together they had managed to make Colleen drink almost an entire cup of tea, which Michaela carefully had brewed under Beth's disapproving supervision.

Michaela had felt a calm pleasure watching her daughter fall back into a healing sleep. Deep in her heart, she knew that Colleen would have a long and painful road ahead of her, in order to be able to heal both mentally and physical. However for a few minutes she allowed herself just to enjoy the fact that her beloved daughter was safely sleeping beside her. Sitting on the side of the bed, hearing Colleen's strained breathing and feeling Brian's loving touch, Michaela was unable to stop the tears to flow down her cheeks.

Brian felt his mother's shoulder starting to tremble under his hand, and even though he was unable to see her face, he knew she was crying. Feeling lost, not really knowing what to do, he just stood there with his hand resting on her shoulder; the familiar shoulder, which had always seemed so strong and steady, every time he had rested his head against it for love and support, suddenly felt very fragile. It was not that he had never seen her cry before, he had, but it was the way she cried. It reminded him of her behavior, after losing all their Cheyenne friends at Washita. Standing here now, he could suddenly feel Matthew's supporting hand on his shoulder, and see Sully bending down level with Colleen and himself. As he, in his simple way, explained that their Ma was not only grieving the loss of their friends, but also the loss of her belief of the goodness in people, and most of all the belief of herself. He had just been a child then, a child that had just lost his best friend. He had not totally understood what Sully meant, when he had said that she needed to allow herself to grieve, in order to be able to find her spirit again. But his words had been soothing, and hearing Sully's calm voice in his head now, he felt his body relax.

"Ma?" he softly said, and when he didn't get any response, he simply sat down on the bed beside her, softly cupping her wet chin, in order to make her face him. Her eyes spoke of anguish and guilt, as she tried to avoid his loving gaze. "Ma?" he softly tried again. Looking directly in his eyes, she could not hold it anymore. "I didn't know! I'm her mother and I didn't know!" Michaela managed to choke out between the sobs. "I have been too occupied with the new hospital. I didn't realize. What kind of mother am I?" her voice cracked with emotions, as she covered her face with her hands. Gently, Brian pulled his mother into a loving embrace, and held her as she cried against his chest. Feeling his own eyes fill with tears, he softly started to hum the lullaby that she used to sing to him when he was a little boy. The familiar melody seemed to relax her, and once her body had stopped shaking, he gently pulled backwards.

Still holding her shoulders he looked her straight in the eyes. "This is not your fault. I love you, Colleen loves you; all of us do! We could not ask for a better mother." Brian's voice was low but clear, and when he didn't get a response, he simply pulled her back into his embrace. "Matthew, Colleen and myself, we were, and still are, the luckiest children in the world. And Katie – she doesn't know anything but love…" he whispered in her ear. Michaela bolted straight up. "Katie! I forgot Katie!" Confused, Brian stared at his upset mother. "She's home Ma?" he questioningly stated, as he worriedly rose to stand beside Michaela. Almost pleadingly, with pain filled eyes she looked up to him. "You don't understand. She was upset with me when I left, and I forgot her! I haven't even sent her a telegram!" She hastily started towards the door, but Brian reached out and stopped her. "Ma!" Relived by her explanation, he was unable to suppress a smile - at the complexity that was his mother's mind. Less than a minute ago she was doubting her mothering skills, and now she was set to race down to the nearest telegraph operator to ease his little sister's mind. Knowing now wasn't the time to dwell on this train of thought Brian - resolutely turned her back towards the bed. "I will go and send Katie a message, and you will lay down and rest." Suddenly feeling very tired, Michaela allowed Brian to tuck her in beside Colleen. Worriedly she grabbed his arm. "Please don't make her upset." Brian gently bent down and dried her tears with his thumb. "I won't. I promise." He promised, giving her forehead a soft kiss before he left.


	10. Chapter 10

Chap. 10

Michaela resolutely kept her gaze out of the window, trying hard to avoid the other woman's staring eyes, as the carriage slowly made its way through the town. The silence had lain heavily ever since the door had been closed behind them. Michaela felt strongly that the tense woman in front of her had something on her heart. When Mollie had offered to accompany her Michaela had been genuinely surprised, and she still had no idea why she had volunteered.

William had been quite upset when Michaela, after her nap, had asked Brian to stay with his sister, and had started to prepare, in order to go and see little Anthony. He had strongly insisted that she was in no condition to go. William stated further, that Mr Free, under the circumstances, certainly had understood that he needed to seek medical assistance elsewhere, if his son needed further treatment. Realizing that his arguments had done nothing, but to make Mike even more determined, he desperately insisted that he would go himself the day after. He begged her not to go, argued that it was not safe; not only because of her injures, but also because of the area, and he even reminded her that Andrew might be out there looking for her. Unable to make her change her mind, he had tried to get Brian to tell his mother not to go. Even though Brian wanted his Ma to stay where it was safe, he knew better than to try and change her mind. Instead he had insisted on going with her, but Michaela had really wanted him to stay with Colleen. It was then Mollie had surprised all of them, by offering to accompany Michaela to the Free's house.

A very hesitant William had walked the two women to the carriage, and much to Michaela's irritation he had given the driver strict instructions to drive extra carefully, and to not let the passengers out of his sight. She had been forced to bite her tongue, in order not to tell him that she was indeed a grown woman, and that she was competent to make her own decisions. Unfortunately the annoying truth was that she was his guest, and that she desperately needed his help in order to keep Colleen safe. So she had swallowed her pride, and stiffly tried to find a comfortable position. It felt like a knife sting in her side with the simple task of just trying to breathe, the doctor in her recognized the insanity in even considering making the uncomfortable journey. Determined not to let anyone know about her doubts, she had pretended to focus on the passing views of the town outside the window.

In the corner of her eye Michaela saw Mollie take a deep breath, as if preparing to speak, just as they felt the carriage slow, and heard the driver ask for directions for Mr Free's home. Seeing Mollie lose her nerve, hastily turning her attention outside the window, Michaela let out a relived sigh.

Suddenly aware of their surroundings, Mollie gasped in shock. She had never been in this part of Boston before, and seeing all the ramshackle little houses, on both sides of the dirty street, made her want to scream to the driver to turn around and bring her home. But even if she had given in to her instinct, she realized that the street would be much too tight to turn the carriage. She swallowed hard to suppress the panic that rapidly filled her chest, as she watched as curious people, of all different appearance and age, quickly filled up the narrow road.

The word about the arrival of the fancy carriage travelled like wildfire, and everyone, peeked by their curiosity, gathered up around it, in order to find out what it was doing in their neighbourhood. "Move!!" The driver's harsh voice penetrated the carriage, causing Michaela to quickly open her window and stick her head out. She was just in time to see the angry driver direct forceful lashes towards three young black boys, whom he obviously thought had come to close. "Stop it!" Michaela's high-pitched voice filled the air, drawing all eyes towards the carriage. "Stop it!" She repeated, as she hastily climbed out the door.

Kneeling in front of a scared, silently sobbing boy, Michaela softly reached out to examine his obviously hit upper arm, which he tried to cover with his little hand. Feeling the fancy white woman's hands on his body, the scared boy instantly tumbled backwards. "It's alright, I just want to look. Please don't be scared. I'm a doctor, I want to help." Her soothing voice was soft and gentle, as she placed her warm hand on the boy's shoulder. Hesitating only a few seconds, the little boy decided to trust the kind lady, and slowly took a step closer removing his little hand.

"Miss Quinn, please return to the carriage!" The little boy jumped at the driver's angry voice, and Michaela furiously turned to face the man. "That's Dr Quinn, and I will not be told to what to do! This is my patient and I will stay here and help him in any way I can." Her eyes flashing with rage as she looked at the man. "Patient? It's a Nigger!" Michaela felt the little boy hide behind her skirt, taking a deep breath, her voice low and calm as she spoke. "Please give the carriage some room to turn." As the crowd slowly started to back away, she once again turned to the driver and continued in the same tone: "Please take Mrs Burke home, and do not bother to come back here."

Just before the carriage started to move a shrill tone broke through the tense air. "Wait! Let me out as well!" All eyes turned towards the carriage as Mollie, apparently not used to climbing out of carriages without assistance, clumsily made it to the ground. Almost regretting her own actions as her feet reached the muddy ground, embarrassed she smoothed her silk skirt, and started towards Michaela. "Mrs Burke!" The driver quickly climbed down from his seat and started after Mollie. Grabbing her arm, he tried to pull her back towards the carriage. "Let me assist you back into the carriage Mrs Burke!" he hissed though clenched teeth. "Let go of my arm!" Mollie's voice was high, as she desperately tried to break free from the man's strong grip. "You heard the lady!" Rapidly turning towards the voice, the driver found himself staring straight into a huge black man's chest. Abruptly releasing his grip on Mollie's arm, raising his hands to the air, he hastily retreated to the carriage.

"Dr Burke is not going to like this!" The driver shouted over his shoulder, as he sped up the horses, by sending a couple of loud lashes though the air. Shocked, Mollie just stood there staring after the disappearing carriage. "You okay Mame?" Mollie jumped at the feeling of the man's hand on her shoulder. "Thank you Bill!" Michaela gave the man a grateful smile before she continued; "Bill, this is Mrs Burke – Dr Burke's wife, and Mollie, please meet Mr Free – Anthony's father." Hesitating, Mollie took Bill's outstretched hand, her voice hardly more than a whisper as she spoke for the first time, "Thank you Mr Free." Seeing the question in Bill's eyes, Michaela simply answered by saying, "Mrs Burke was kind enough to accompany me to see Anthony." Bill nodded towards Mollie before once again turning to Dr Mike. "I didn't expect to see you again after…" He looked down, not sure how to continue. "How is your daughter?" Michaela tried to force a bright smile. "Colleen's resting, but I believe that she will be okay." Her smile faded and she looked directly in to his kind eyes. "Thank you for all you did for us." Suddenly very aware about the curious crowd surrounding them, the big man looked at his feet before once again raising his gaze to the white woman before him. "Thank you Dr Mike, for all you did for my boy." Giving the man one of her genuine crooked smiles, she softly added; "Let's call it even."

Reaching for the little boy still hiding behind her skirt, Michaela continued in a more concerned voice: "May this brave young man please accompany us to your home? I need to tend to his arm." Recognizing the dirty little face that peeked out from behind the doctor's fancy dress, Bill gave him a reassuring pat on the back. "Come on Joey, Dr Mike is going to make it feel much better." The crowd started to breakup as the three of them, followed by a very hesitant Mollie, started walking towards the Free family's home.

The sun was on its way down as Sully finally reached the hill, from where the homestead first came into view. Allowing his exhausted horse to take a brief break, he took in the peaceful picture before him; the yard – tidy as always, the family's horses calmly eating hay in the paddock; even from this distance he could make out Flash among them, Michaela's dearly beloved little mare. The smoke that slowly rose from the chimney, made out as if it were trying to reassure him that his family was safe at home waiting for him. But not even the beautiful sight before him could wipe out the aching feeling in his side, and the darkness in his heart. Not wanting to waste another second, he almost forcefully dug his heals into his faithful companion's sides. Both horse and rider seeing their goal, moved as one as they raced into the yard.

Even before the horse had come to a halt, Sully had jumped off and was on his way up the stairs. Almost falling over Wolf, who in his older days had made it his job to be lying on the front porch, devotedly guarding his master's house and family, Sully stumbled into the house, and with a voice hoarse from worry and exhaustion, he managed to shout, "MICHAELA!" Grabbing the wall not to fall, he heard someone move in the kitchen, and he suddenly sensed the lovely aroma of dinner cooking. His face broke up in a huge smile; she was home, his Michaela was home and everything was all right! Eagerly running into the kitchen he came to an abrupt halt. "MICHA…" His voice died in the middle of her name. The woman standing in front of the stove was not his wife. It was not Michaela! He felt his blood freeze to ice, as he met Grace's worried eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

Chap 11

Totally exhausted after the day, Senator Morse gratefully sat down in front of the warm fire that Cloud Dancing had started while Roberts and himself had washed up in a nearby creek. It had truly been a day to remember; never before had he actually met a real Indian. He had heard countless tales about the red savages that lived only to rape women, kill children and to scalp white men like himself. The man that he had woken up with this morning, Could Dancing, didn't seem to be anything like that. Just like Mr Sully, he had proven to be a man of few words, but when he did speak it was with great knowledge. Could Dancing had led them to some truly breathtaking places, places that he had simply referred to as some of Mother Earth's great gifts. He had shown no signs of taking credit for showing them these magnificent sights, only enjoyed the beauty with them. Morse hardly believed it himself, but he actually felt safe in the company of this red-man.

"There will be rabbit tonight", Cloud Dancing stated as he placed his prey beside the fire. Morse, who had been abruptly woken from his thoughts, jumped at Cloud Dancing's voice. Surprised he looked at the grey-haired man before him, who even in his older age moved with an amazing gracefulness. He had not even heard him approach.

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"Sully!" Seeing her friend's exhausted form, Grace quickly made her way across the room, instinctively grabbing his arm to keep him from falling. "Michaela?" Sully's voice was barely audible as he looked at Grace with pleading blue eyes. Determined, Grace led him towards one of the massive, hand-carved kitchen chairs instructing him to sit as she did so. Too tired to struggle, Sully sank down on the chair that Grace pulled out for him.

His begging eyes never left Grace's face, desperately trying to read her expression. "Michaela? Please Grace, tell me she's okay?" Being one of the few who actually understood the deep extent of the relationship between her dear friends, Grace had to battle down her own emotions that started bubble up her throat. Quietly she sat down on the chair beside Sully, and reached for his hand. "It's not Dr Mike, it's Colleen", Grace started with a soft voice. "Colleen?" Sully felt confused. No. He was sure that he had felt Michaela. Realising that Grace was still speaking, Sully returned his attention to listen to what she was saying, "Brian sent a telegram a few days ago, saying that Colleen needed help, and…" Even more confused Sully stared at the woman in front of him. "Brian?" What had Brian to do with this? "Michaela, what happened to Michaela?" In an attempt to calm him, Grace squeezed his hand. "Nothing Sully, nothing. She left for Boston on the same day that she received the telegram."

Desperately Sully tried to make sense of Grace's words. "Boston?" She nodded. "I need to find her", Sully mumbled as he dragged himself back to his feet. "No!" Grace pushed him back down on the chair. "You will stay here and rest. There is nothing you can do tonight. There will not be another train to Denver until tomorrow." Once again she had to block him as he made an attempt to rise. Grace gave him a stern gaze when she heard him say, "I will ride." Grace replied sternly, as if she was talking to a young child, "No, you will not! You are in no condition to ride any where tonight, and even if you were, it wouldn't get you there faster." Defeated, knowing that she was right, Sully sank back against the back support of the chair.

"Pa!!!!" The door slammed open and Katie ran wildly towards her father, almost turning him over as she threw herself around his neck. Father and daughter held each other tightly, and didn't even notice Robert E entering the room, hand in hand with his eager daughter Olivia. Trying hard to hide his worry, Robert E shoved his cap up a little bit higher. "Sully" Still squeezing his daughter tight to his heart, Sully absently made a nod in response to his friend's greeting. Totally unaware about the gravity of the atmosphere, Olivia broke free from her father and ran to give her beloved godfather a hug. Receiving only a bewildered pat on the head, instead of the normal lifting and spinning, she felt a knot grow in her stomach. Suddenly aware of the serious faces around her, and the way her friend and great idol clung to her dad, the little girl almost started crying and sought comfort in her mother's lap.

"I missed you so much Pa!", Katie's singing voice broke the silence. "Brian sent a telegram to Ma, and she went to Boston! I wanted to go and see Brian and Colleen too, but she said that I had to wait here for you…", the words suddenly seemed to flow out of the young girl, as she eagerly tried to explain everything that had happened over the last few days. Sully's heart almost stopped as he watched the young girl before him; her beautiful, high spirit-filled face, her graceful gestures, her melodic voice and the almost endless numbers of words that left her sweet mouth. He had to swallow a sob; everything about her was Michaela. Lovingly he reached out his rugged hand, softly caressing her smooth cheek, leaving dark spots of dirt. "Kates…" Hearing her father's hoarse voice saying the name that was used only by him, Katie became silent and watched him with big attentive eyes. "…I need to go find your mother, and I need you to be brave for me and stay with Miss Grace and Robert E."

Feeling a strange mix of fear and hurt, Katie left her father's lap and took a violent step away from him. Standing there, with her arms crossed over her chest, she was an exact copy of an upset Michaela, but before she had time to open her mouth to object, a slightly out of breath Horace appeared in the doorway. "Miss Katie!" he called waving a piece of paper like an eager child. "I just received a telegram for you. All the way from Boston!" Knowing how anxiously the young girl had waited for words since her mother's departure, Horace had decided to ride out to the homestead the minute he got it.

Before anyone else had a chance to react, Sully snatched the paper out of Horace's hand and hastily read it before giving it to his daughter. "Sully?" Robert E said, questioningly observing his friend's stern face. "What did it say?" Sully didn't reply, but Katie's face broke up in a bright smile. "It's from Brian! He says that Ma arrived yesterday, and that she misses me very much! They are all okay and that they hopefully will be coming home in a couple of days." Her smile faded as she saw her father's resolute expression. "She must have been busy", Grace tried to reassure, looking at Sully with worried eyes. If possible even more determined, Sully turned towards the totally confused telegraph-operator. "Thanks for bringing it here Horace. Would you please book me on the morning-train to Denver?" Horace nodded. "Sure thing Sully, but I thought this was good news…" Looking directly at his scared daughter, Sully tried his best to force a smile. "It is. I just have to make sure."

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Feeling totally out of place, Mollie stood just inside the entrance of the ramshackle little shed, that the Free family apparently called home. Standing there, silently observing everything surrounding her, she felt shocked; of course she knew that not everyone lived with the same standards as herself, but this? As she stood there, watching everyone in the small room, she realized something more. Despite the obvious lack of everything, this little shack contained something her big house had never had; it contained love. This realization made her feel even more left out as she awkwardly took in the scene before her; little Joe's curious and yet completely trustful eyes, never leaving Dr Mike's soft hands, as she carefully examined his hurting arm. Kneeling beside the dirty little child, she looked so at ease. Even though everything about her fancy and elegant appearance stood in a sharp contrast to everyone and everything surrounding her, she still melted in. She belonged in heart.

Confused by her own turbulent emotions, Mollie turned her gaze towards the floor. On one hand, the beautiful woman before her, who so obviously held her husband's heart - held every ones hearts, and who seemed to have it all; an unbelievable career and a loving family, made her furious. But on the other hand, she felt oddly drawn to this strong woman, who was everything she had ever wanted to be. Mollie had been greeted politely on their arrival, but Dr Mike had been greeted as family. She was loved.

"Mrs Burke…" suddenly aware that the doctor had been addressing her, Mollie woke from her thoughts. "Yes" the eagerness in her voice surprising herself, as she almost shyly met Dr Mike's questioning gaze. "Could you please help me in cooling this young man's injury while I attend to Anthony?" Grateful for the opportunity to fit in, Mollie eagerly nodded. Surprised, at Mollie's eagerness, Michaela had to smile to herself, as she saw the other woman's tender care for the young boy. Mollie had proven to be a brilliant student, and really seemed to enjoy the nursing.

Turning her full attention to the patient before her, Michaela, much to her relief, could establish that the young boy, considering the circumstances, seemed to be doing well. Since he showed no signs of brain-injury, she now dared to give him stronger medications to ease his pain, but just before he was about to go to sleep she handed him a wrapped package. The room went silent, and Anthony looked at the doctor with big eyes." For me Mame?" Michaela smiled and nodded. "Remember that I told you about another little brave boy named Anthony?" The boy nodded. "He was my son's best friend, and when Brian heard about your accident, he thought you might like this." Ending that sentence, she looked directly at Mr Free and communicated a silent thanks.

Anthony eagerly started to tear the paper, but then abruptly stopped. Shocked, he looked from the gift to the doctor, and then back to the gift. "What is it Son?" Inquisitively Bill tried to look over Michaela's shoulder. Sensing that the boy was too stunned to speak, Michaela started to explain. "It's a book called Robinson Crusoe. It was Anthony's and Brian's favourite story as children." Almost in a trance, Anthony slowly removed the last of the wrapping. Handling the book as if it was made of glass. When he finally was able to speak again, he had tears in his eyes. "I never had a book of my own before." As the sadness that Anthony's last words firmly lodged in Michaela's mind and heart, she turned to look at Mollie, and noticed that she had also heard this sweet little boy's words. When Michaela stiffly forced herself back to her feet she could not bite back a grimace. "You alright Dr Mike?!" Bill and Bettie were instantly at her side, supporting her. "Yes, I'm just a little sore since…" She grew silent, and gave them an embarrassed smile. "Perhaps you ought to rest here for a while?" Bettie eyed her new friend worriedly. "I'm fine, but thank you. It's getting kind of late and I really need to get back to my daughter." While giving Bettie's hand a reassuring squeeze, she looked down on Anthony one last time. Sleepy from the medication, the boy had drifted off, with a smile on his face, clutching the book against his chest with his good arm.

Sensing that it was time to leave, Mollie stood to join Michaela, but was stopped by a small hand pulling her sleeve. Turning around she was met by Joe's curious eyes. "What's a book?" Totally surprised by the question, Mollie didn't even know how to respond, but Michaela had heard it as well, and stiffly squatted down so that she was level with the boy, she kindly tried to explain. "A book is like a collection of papers, where someone has written down a fairytale." The boy looked at her with big eyes. "A book tells me a story?" Michaela smiled at his excitement. "Precisely, you can read a story in a book." At this the boy's eyes filled with disappointment, and he faced the floor. "I don't know to read." Her heart aching with the boy, Michaela softly cupped his cheek to raise his head. "I bet that Anthony will read to you if you ask him tomorrow." Joe's face lit up with hope. "Do you think?" Bill's hearty laughter filled the room as he once again helped the kind doctor to stand. "I'm sure he will love to", he said giving Dr Mike a grateful smile.

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Totally at ease, Senator Morse sat back against the tree, satisfied rubbing his full stomach. Each meal out here in the wilderness seemed to taste exquisite, and the supper that Cloud Dancing had offered them had been nothing less. Even young Roberts had eaten with a good appetite, and seemed very relaxed for the first time during the day. No, during the entire week to be honest.

Turning towards their new guide, he curiously studied the man's furrowed face. Sensing the other man's gaze, Cloud Dancing turned to meet his eyes. "You have something that you wish to ask me", he simply stated. Taken aback by the redman's frankness, the Senator at first didn't know how to address him. "Hmm, I was just wondering about your family. About your people. I mean…" Sensing a deep pain, Morse was unsure if and how to continue. "…there are not many Indians left in these parts anymore?" Cloud Dancing's eyes grew even darker, but his face showed no emotions. "The Spirits told me there would be a man wise enough to learn the truth." Morse raised his eyebrows. "The Spirits?" his voice filled with doubt. "The Spirits," Cloud Dancing calmly repeated, raising his eyes towards the star-filled sky. Senator Morse followed his gaze, and while he sat there, silently watching the stars, he became aware about a very strong presence. With his body covered with goose bumps, he sat still, respectfully waiting for Cloud Dancing to speak.

"I will tell you about a proud people, who used to live on this land in harmony with Mother Earth. I will tell you about a great chief, who wanted nothing but peace, and about a young man who carries the words of this great man." He paused and put his fist against his heart, while his pain-filled gaze once again sought the stars. "I will tell you who they were, how they lived, and how they came to feed Mother Earth."

Barely remembering to breathe, Morse suddenly became aware that Roberts, who normally didn't seem to care about anything, had moved closer. Just like himself, the young man seemed truly captured by the words of the man before them. "Telling you will not change history, but like I once told Dr Mike – My people need you to remember. If the truth will be known, perhaps something will be learned."

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Mollie worriedly studied Michaela's ghost-white face as the carriage started to move. "Will you make it home?" her voice filled with concern, but Michaela was not ready to drop her little charade. Knitting her brows, she defensively straightened her back. "Yes of course, I'm fine," using the little energy she still possessed in an attempt to make her voice sound normal. Bill had accompanied them on foot through the poorly lit parts of town, until they had been able to get a hold of a carriage, which had been free to drive them back to the Burke's resident.

"You can stop that now. I might not have a fancy medical degree, but even I can see that you are not well," Mollie stated as she glared at Michaela. Without waiting for a reply she determinedly continued: "I don't know anything about the circumstances regarding your relationship with my husband…" Almost too stunned to speak, Michaela instinctively opened her mouth to reply, but was stopped by Mollie, who rose her hand to signal that she wasn't done. "Like I said, I know nothing about you or your history, but I'm neither blind nor stupid. I realized that my husband lost interest in me years ago; I have accepted that. But he has always treated me with respect, not once have I seen him look at another woman, not even the younger ones." She paused but sensing that she had more on her heart, Michaela remained silent.

"I have always tried to be a good wife for William, to please him, but then you blow in, breaking all the rules, talking back… And he… For heavens sake; He acts like a schoolboy! I have never seen him like this!" Sobbing, she hid her face in her hands. With eyes filled with compassion, Michaela fought the pain and leaned forward, softly putting her hand on the crying woman's shoulder. Sensing the light touch, Mollie looked up and met Michaela's gaze. "I wanted to hate you! I really tried to hate you," tears was streaming down her cheeks, "but I can't!" Still sobbing, Mollie continued: "Your loving spirit, your unselfish commitments, your courage… The way other people take you to their hearts… I envy you, but I as well have taken you to my heart." The last words were more like a whisper. Michaela felt her own tears fill her eyes, as she took Mollie in an almost motherly embrace. Doing so she almost blacked out by pain. "Dr Mike!" Mollie voiced on the boundary to panic, as she carefully supported her new friend back to a sitting position. "Do you want the driver to stop?" Mollie asked as she worriedly studied Michaela's pale face, which was covered in a mix of sweat and tears.

Slowly starting to get her breath back, Michaela shook her head and forced a weak smile. "Quite a mess, aren't I?" she attempted to joke. Feeling the relief flow through her veins, Mollie couldn't help but laugh through her tears, as she nodded in confirmation. "I think we both are." Growing serious, Michaela looked Mollie straight in her eyes. "I want you to know that I have no interest in your husband, and that I am truly sorry that my presence has caused you grief." She stopped to allow herself to breathe. "I'm not a threat to you. I'm happily married to the love of my life, and a proud mother of four." Managing one of her crooked smiles, she continued: "And as you already pointed out; I'm just an old troublemaker…" Mollie's face turned bright red. "I didn't mean… I mean…", but Michaela cut her off by friendly squeezing her hand. "Of course you ought to proud of being Mrs Burke, William is a good man, but please, don't deny yourself the right to be you."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chap. 12**

Michaela watched how the morning sun danced over Colleen's bruised face, as she silently sat beside her in the bed. She felt dead tired, and her body ached, but as she sat there, close to her daughter's sleeping form, she felt a spark of hope warming her heart. A small smile crept up on her lips as her mind drifted to the events the day before; seeing young Anthony's great recovery and his enormous joy over his gift. She felt confident that the sweet boy would not only enjoy the book himself, but that he would share both the gift and his ability to read with others. Her newfound friendship with Mollie delighted Michaela; the truth, tears and laughter they had shared in the carriage on their way home was a welcome intrusion into the somber mood that was ever present in the house. Mollie had surprised her even more when she had supported Michaela, and stood up to a very upset William when they arrived home. Mollie had proven herself to be a very strong personality, and Michaela felt proud to call her a friend.

As she sat there, Colleen slowly started to wake. It pained Michaela to see her daughter's face twist into a grimace as she subconsciously made an attempt to stretch her injured body. As Colleen somewhat groggily tried to get her swollen eyes adjusted to the sunlight, Michaela softly took her warm hand in the both of hers. "Good morning Sweetheart." Squeezing her mother's hands, Colleen tried to wet her cracked lips. Seeing her daughter's discomfort, Michaela carefully helped her to drink some water. "How do you feel today?" Giving her worried mother a weak but honest smile, Colleen attempted a joke, "Like I have been run over by a herd of wild horses." Not even being the worried mother she was could keep Michaela from smiling at her brave daughter's words. "Do you want something for the pain?" Feeling determined Colleen shook her head. "No more drugs, I need to clear my head, but perhaps some tea."

At that moment the door opened just enough to allow Brian's head to peek in. At the sight of the two women awake, a huge boyish smile covered his face. "Hey Sleepy head!" he laughed as he practically ran across the room to give his sister a hug. He was still smiling as he sat down on the bed. "I thought I heard voices from here." However he didn't reveal that he had spent most of the night, and the entire morning, wandering about outside their door, regularly peeking in to make sure that they were alright. His mother's reassuring words, informing him that it was good for Colleen to sleep, and that she would be alright, had done little to settle his fear of losing his beloved sister. Putting that together with the state his mother had been in when Mollie and he had helped her to bed yesterday had almost freaked him out. Sitting there now, close to the two women that meant the entire world to him, he felt such relief fill him. Needing to break the silence Brian joked, while winking at Michaela "The way you two have been sleeping I feared that I would have to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner alone with the Burkes…" Amused, Michaela shook her head. "Behave young man!" she playfully pretended to reprimand him. "Speaking of our hostess, would you please ask Miss Beth to prepare some willow-bark tea for us?" Glancing at Colleen, she added: "And please ask her for something light for your sister to eat."

Once they were alone again, Michaela turned to Colleen. "Do you want to try to sit for awhile?" she asked with a concerned expression. Colleen nodded, but as Michaela leaned over to support her, Colleen saw her mother's face twist in pain. "Ma??" She worriedly observed her mother's pale face. "I'm fine Colleen. I promise. I'm just a little sore." Michaela tried to reassure her daughter, and made a new attempt to help her to a sitting position. Knowing her mother well enough to understand that she would never admit anything, especially if doing so would make someone else's burden heavier, Colleen decided not to argue, but fought hard to put as little weight as possible on Michaela's supporting arms.

As Colleen was finally sitting, both women needed a moment to catch their breath. "Are you sitting comfortably?" Michaela asked while she busied herself with fixing the pillows supporting Colleen's back. Colleen just looked at her mother with tear filled eyes. "Oh Ma! The last thing I wanted was for him to hurt you…" Hearing her daughter bring up the subject, that both of them until now had avoided, Michaela froze in her movements. Hardly able to look at the beloved face, which wore the testimony of what a bad mother she had been, Michaela slowly turned toward Colleen and asked with her voice hardly more than a whisper, "For how long Colleen?" Unable to answer, Colleen just shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me?" A single tear slowly ran down Michaela's cheek. "I'm so sorry Colleen! You are my daughter and I wasn't there! I'm so sorry…"

Colleen stared at her mother in disbelief. "But it's my fault! It's all my fault!" Hearing her mother taking the blame, made some of the previously well contained emotion burst from Colleen, and between the sobs she continued: "I destroyed Andrew's life! I was never a good wife for him. I made him bitter. It's my fault he hurt you!" Now it was Michaela's turn to stare at Colleen. Grabbing her around the shoulders, Michaela forced her to make eye contact. "NO COLLEEN! NO! Listen to me; this is NOT your fault! You have done nothing to deserve this!" The tears were running freely on both of them as Colleen fell into Michaela's protecting embrace.

Still holding Colleen tight against her chest, Michaela softly started speaking. "Do you remember how you felt when you first learned about Dorothy's past?" Colleen didn't answered, but her sobbing quieted some. "Do you remember that I told you that under no circumstances is it okay for a man to hit a woman?" The room was dead silent for a minute before Colleen's muffled voice was heard from Michaela's nightgown. "It's not the same Ma. I destroyed Andrew's life. I…" Michaela cut her off by forcing her back to a sitting position. "Do you trust me Colleen?" Once again she forced Colleen to make eye contact. Not understanding what her mother was getting at Colleen made a slight nod. "I need you to tell me everything Sweetheart. There is nothing that you can tell me that is going to make me love you less."

Hesitating for a moment, Colleen turned her gaze towards the bed-sheets. When she began to speak she did so with a hollow voice that sent goose bumps up Michaela's arms. "It wasn't always bad you know, we were happy – at least I believed we were." Her gaze was still locked on the sheets as she continued. "It really felt like everything would work out when Grandma left us the money to open the clinic, and to work beside Andrew at our own clinic, was like a dream that had come true. But that charity clinic was my dream – not Andrew's… He wanted to make a name for himself, and by working with me he lost that chance. When he left his uncle's practice he became excluded from the entire medical-society. I guess he believed that it would just be a temporary situation, but it wasn't, and losing all his dreams took a toll on him. He gave it all up for me, and I was unable to give him anything in return…"

As her daughter was silent once again, Michaela had to use every ounce of strength in her body not to tell Colleen how wrong she was. Deep inside she knew that Colleen needed to be allowed to tell her story. Quietly she reached out and squeezed Colleen's hand in support, and simply sat there waiting for her daughter to continue.

"He started spending time at bars, drinking. However doing so meant that he was working fewer hours in the clinic, which in turn meant that I had to work more. With me doing that, it somehow made him feel like he wasn't the man in the house anymore. He started gambling, but he wasn't any good at it. He wouldn't tell me, but I think that he lost all the money that Grandma left us." Bending down, as if expecting a punch, but knowing deep down that it of course would never come; Colleen actually dared to look at her mother the first time since beginning her story. Seeing nothing but compassion and love in Michaela's tear-filled eyes, she found the courage to continue.

"I think that we are losing the clinic ma, Grandma's clinic. I failed her." At this Michaela sadly shook her head. "You didn't fail her Sweetheart. You made her so proud. And you still would. I have seen your clinic, I have met your patients; you have made excellent work of it. Losing the clinic is not your doing." Ashamed, Colleen lowered her eyes to the sheets again. "No Ma, she believed that I would be like you, but I am not. I'm nothing like you. I'm weak." Once again Michaela had to suppress her strong reaction to Colleen's words. She softy reached out and started caressing her daughter's entangled hair, before she began to speak. "You are so wrong Colleen. You are one of the strongest and most honorable persons I have ever known. Your Grandma loved you, and was proud of you, because of you. You must never believe anything else. And I'm proud of you; of the great doctor that you have become, and most of all of the kind of person that you are. I love you Colleen, and I will always be grateful to Charlotte for trusting me enough to be your mother." At this all the pent up emotion completely burst from Colleen, as she once again buried herself in Michaela's safe embrace.

Even after it felt like all her tears had gone, Colleen remained in Michaela's arms, being tightly held against her mother's chest. Knowing that this embrace would only be of a temporary nature, Colleen had to admit that it felt so good feeling the warmth of her beloved mother's body, sensing the familiar scent of roses, and feeling her soft hands reassuringly stroke her hair. It felt so good being loved. "What will I do?" Her body froze as she realized that she had mumbled her thoughts out loud. Michaela sensed the sudden change in Colleen's body, and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to make any decisions right now. There is plenty of time. But I want you to know that I would be honored if you would like to come back to Colorado and work with me at the hospital."

In an attempt to distance herself, Colleen resolutely sat straight up and once again avoided looking at her mother. "Please don't Ma! You don't know, I mean – You don't have to…" her voice died since she didn't know how to go on. Terrified that her daughter would not understand her absolute need to leave her violent husband, Michaela desperately sought after the right words to convince her to come home, however all that managed to come was the pleading of a distraught mother, "I will not leave you here! Never Colleen. Never!" Realizing that her bossy way wouldn't do any good, Michaela forced herself to calm down. "Would you at least consider coming home with me until your body has healed? Would you do that for me? Please?"

Hearing her mother begging, Colleen suddenly realized what she must have been thinking. Almost choked by guilt, she turned towards the woman that she since long had grown to love like a mother; the woman that had become her safe heaven, and who had fought by her side to make it possible for her to achieve her dreams. Her gaze moved over the big, swollen bruise that covered her jaw, and up to her always so revealing eyes, which screamed of hurt, anguish and worry. Andrew might have put the bruise on her jaw, but she caused the deep pain that was now reflected in her mother's eyes. Colleen desperately thought of a way to make Michaela understand that her turning down the offer wasn't a rejection, but the only way to protect the people she loved.

"Oh Ma! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that… I love you; all of you, you must always know that. But it wouldn't be fair to any of you if I came home now. You don't know, you don't know what you are offering…" Not knowing what else to say she grabbed Michaela's hand.

Michaela sat quietly for a few minutes, trying to make sense of her daughter's words.

"Colleen, please know that I'm not by any means wishing to add too your burdens, but I think that I need say this." Michaela took a deep breath. "There is no secret that I have always wanted you to work by my side. That has not, and will never change. You must also know that I have been advertising for one additional doctor for the new hospital, but that it has been difficult to find someone competent and willing to work for a woman. So far it's only young James and I, and with the town constantly growing, and with trying to keep the practice at the hotel open, it's just too much work. James is very good spirited, but he still needs a lot of support, and I…" She took a brief break before she continued with a low voice: "I'm not getting any younger…"

"Ma please, don't say…" Colleen tried to interrupt, but Michaela wasn't finished. "I'm not planning to give up doctoring for many years yet, but when the day comes, I would like you to take over for me." Colleen just sat there staring at her mother. Her heart wanted to throw herself into her mother's arms, but her brain reminded her of how unfair that would be.

Not really knowing how to read the shifting emotions that crossed the younger woman's face, Michaela carefully added: "And I'm not just saying that because you are my daughter, but because you are an excellent doctor and a remarkable person." The tears were once again flowing down Colleen's cheeks, as she shook her head. "You don't understand. I wouldn't do you any good Ma! I'm wasted…" Her voice was barley audible as she added the last part.

In a desperate attempt to make her daughter see clearly, Michaela covered the hand that already held one of hers, and said, "Colleen…" However when Colleen abruptly removed her hand, Michaela was cut off. "I'm pregnant Ma!" she almost screamed, and then quickly bent down as if expecting a furious reaction. Smiling sadly through the tears, Michaela reached out and lovingly caressed her daughter's wet cheek. "I know Sweetheart, I saw that when I examined you," she said with a soft voice. Unable to look at her mother, Colleen silently stared into the wall.

Uncertain how far to push the young woman, Michaela carefully asked: "Does Andrew know?" Colleen slowly shook her head. "Do you want him to know?" Even the air in the room seemed to stand still for a moment, until Colleen suddenly turned and looked Michaela directly in the eyes. "He's not the father."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chap 13**

"Colleen?" Not sure if she had heard correctly, Michaela questioningly stared at her daughter. In an attempt to shield herself from the strong reaction that she was convinced would come, Colleen moved away from her mother's touch. She felt dead inside. This was the moment that she had feared the most; to be an object of disgust with the person that mattered the most. "Don't worry, I will leave. I will go somewhere where no one knows me…"

Almost too stunned to speak, Michaela stared at Colleen. "What? Sorry I… What are you saying?" Determined not to show any more weakness, Colleen stared blankly into the air. "I know what you must think of me… but I promise that I won't let this destroy the family's reputation! I will leave – I will even change my name if I have to. No one will ever connect me to you…" Slowly Michaela started to realize the meaning of her daughter's words. "Colleen, oh my sweet girl! What you must have been thinking!" Michaela tried to pull Colleen into an embrace, but the young woman stiffly rejected. "No Ma! I will not pull you down with me!"

Michaela closed her eyes, and silently sat there trying to collect her turbulent feelings and thoughts. She needed to understand, too stay focused, but most importantly; she needed to make Colleen see that she really did love her no matter what. An image of a much younger Colleen flashed before her closed eyes; a young girl, with thick, long braids, and the most beautiful trustful, brown eyes, that among chaos and misery looked at her, determined telling her that she had decided to become a doctor. That little girl had just found in her heart to trust her, and opening her eyes to the young woman that stiffly sat before her today, she knew she had to gain that trust again. She had to. She wanted her little girl back!

"Colleen, remember what I told you. There is nothing you could tell me that would make me love you less." She paused, which gave Colleen some time to taste her words, but when she gained no reaction she continued. "You are my daughter Colleen! Nothing will ever change that! Sully, Matthew, Brian, Katie and you are the most important people in my life. I need all of you." Not too sure how Colleen actually felt about the life that grew inside of her, Michaela carefully leaned forward and softly put her hand on her daughter's slightly expanded belly. "I don't know what happened to you, or what you have done, all I know is that you are my daughter and that this is my grandchild."

Colleen slid away from Michaela's touch, but hearing the sincerity in her mother's love-filled words, Colleen could not keep herself from looking at her. She wanted so badly to throw herself into her mother's safe embrace, and believe that she would be able to solve all her problems. The child in her was convinced that her mother would be there for her, guiding her through the darkness, like she always had, no matter what, but the adult knew better. She was well aware of the width of the shame that the entire truth would carry, and even more importantly, she knew that it would not be fair to ask her family to share this burden. Meeting Michaela's pleading eyes, she could only shake her head. "Colleen please, I want to understand, I need you to tell me."

Sitting with a straight back, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Colleen started to speak. Her voice was clear, but to Michaela it had a scary lack of emotions. "It was a Wednesday evening almost three months ago. It had been a long day at the clinic, Andrew disappeared around lunchtime, and I hadn't heard anything from him after that. Anyway, it was getting late and I was tired, but I felt that we needed to talk." She paused, but kept her eyes shut. "Or I needed to talk. I wanted to know what was going on, and I… I wanted to know if he wanted me to leave." She took another deep breath before she continued. "I had almost given up my attempt to keep his food warm, when I finally heard the front door open. But as I went out in the hallway, I realized that he wasn't alone."

Michaela felt a cold shiver in her spine as she watched her daughter's emotionally dead face. "I will never forget the look in Andrew's face as he stood there, holding the key to our home. I wasn't properly dressed, but seeing his bruised jaw and the anxiety in his eyes, I didn't even think. I just didn't think… Before I could reach him, he just turned around and left." She took a shaky breath. "He just closed the door and left me with that man."

The little color on Michaela's face rapidly left, as she reluctantly started to realize exactly where her dearly beloved daughter's story was leading. Tears welled up her eyes, while she once again tried to gain body contact with her little girl. "Colleen…" the name, not louder than a whisper as it left her dry throat. Sensing her mother's touch, Colleen stiffly moved further away.

"He laughed Ma! That man laughed as he pinned me against the wall, telling me that he had won me in a poker game." She opened her eyes, and stared at her mother with almost black eyes. "I tried to fight him Ma! I tried! But he was too strong…" Her words ended in a desperate sob. She could not keep it in anymore, she felt like she was going to be physically sick, but there was nothing to come up. Then she felt her mother's arms surrounding her, holding her even though she tried to fight them. Totally exhausted, she finally gave up and allowed herself to fall into her mother's safe embrace.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chap 14**

Impatiently Matthew checked his pocket watch again. The train was due to come in anytime now, and the platform was getting crowded. Looking down at his tailor made suit, he suddenly thought of the last time he had been standing at the very same platform, reluctantly waiting for the train to Boston. It felt like a lifetime ago, and despite the uneasy feeling in his stomach now, the memory made him unable to suppress a little smile, as he thought of his worried and nervous mother, his over-excited siblings and his own sullen appearance and "high water" pants. He wasn't sure why he had never made the trip to Boston again; his sister had been living there for years, and even young Brian had been working there for quite a while, before he left for Europe. From the beginning, he had purposely avoided it, because of Ingrid and his plans to make the trip as husband and wife, and during the last couple of years he simple had too much work with his law firm. Ever since he moved to Denver, and received his degree, he had spent most of his waking hours working. Being as devoted, honest, competent and hard working as he was, it hadn't taken him long to gain a brilliant reputation.

It wasn't due to the lack of invitations that had stopped him from becoming involved in the center of Denver's society; on the contrary, Matthew had no interest in being associated with any of those persons. He spent his time working, and only took a day of now and then to go and see his family in Colorado Springs. Standing there, on the crowded platform, he suddenly realized that even though he lived in a city filled with people he was still all-alone, and Colorado Springs was still very much home no matter how hard he tried to tell himself otherwise.

Just as the train rolled in to the station, he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Matthew?" Turning around, he found himself standing face to face with his stepfather. "Sully?" The surprise was written all over his face. "What are you doing here?" Taking a closer look at the man in front of him, Matthew noticed his even more rough appearance than usual, but most of all the haunted expression in his normally calm, blue eyes.

"Going to Boston" Sully said, making a single nod towards the train. Hastily picking up his somewhat cumbersome luggage, Matthew felt the uneasiness grow, as he followed Sully towards the train. His little brother's telegram suddenly burned in his pocket, as he tried to keep up with the obviously very determined Sully, who only carried a simple leather bag slung over his right shoulder. Matthew suspected that all Sully had packed was a change of clothes, unlike himself, who it appeared had packed enough for a yearlong stay. Calling out, "Hey Sully, wait up!" as it appeared that the older man had not realized that his son was following him he clambered aboard the train.

Surprised, Sully looked up as a slightly out of breath Matthew, sat down at the seat next to him. "Are you heading to Boston too?" Despite his worry, Sully couldn't help but to think how relieved Michaela would be when she heard that their eldest son finally seemed to be willing to really move on with his life, and coming to Boston was definitely a positive sign of with a simple nod, Matthew took the opportunity to still his curiosity. "I thought you where away working?" he asked, while he studied his friend's tired face. "I was" he paused, and as the train started to move, he turned and locked his troubled eyes with Matthew's, "but I sensed that Michaela needed me." Matthew felt ice cold as he looked deep into Sully's troubled mind. Needing to say something, Matthew asked, "Is she okay?" Sully looked tormented as he replied. "I need to find her."

Lost in thoughts, he silently gazed out the window, before he hopefully turned back towards Matthew. "Michaela asked you to come?" Not wanting to dash Sully's hopes, but knowing that he had to tell the truth, Matthew regretfully shook his head. "No, Brian did. To be honest – I didn't even know she was there." He dug his pocket and handed Sully the telegram that he had received the day before.

Sully wrinkled his brow as he thoroughly read the short text. "_Dear Matthew, I'm back in Boston. Colleen urgently needs your help. Please come. Regards, Brian" _His eyes lingered over the sender information in the bottom of the paper. _"Brian Cooper, Dr William Burke's residence"_ and then an address in Beacon Hill.

That line had been empty on the telegram for Katie. Sully kept staring at the paper. William? Why was Brian staying with William? Was Michaela there too? Colleen? Were they ill? Hurt? Questions filled his tired head, and he suddenly felt his migraine come creeping on. Thinking of the telegram he had asked Horace to send before he left Colorado Springs, he now wondered if Michaela would ever receive it. He had addressed it to Colleen and Andrew's place, figuring that she would stay there. Letting out a quiet sigh, he realized that it really didn't matter; it was just a short message telling her that he would be there, and it wouldn't bring him there any faster. He just detested the strong feeling of helplessness, that he felt sitting still on the train, unable to speed up the journey towards his Heartsong and his family.

Sully gave Matthew a silent nod of thanks, and the two of them awkwardly sat back against the hard seat, trying to will the train to move faster.

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Like a statue holding a tray with sandwiches and the now cold tea, Brian was standing outside the door, which led to Colleen and his mother's bedroom. Feeling happy to be finally able to do something for his family, he had hurried to the kitchen and asked Miss Beth to prepare breakfast for the three of them. Even the grumpy old maid had not been able to hide her relief over the fact that the two guests were not only awake, but even up to eating something. Patting Brian's cheek, she had proudly reassured him that her cooking would put some meat on his bony mother and sister in no time. Brian had thanked her, with one of his most charming smiles, but asked her to keep at least this first meal light. After all the worry, and stress, they had been under during the last couple of days, and knowing his mother, he knew that she would never be able to keep anything too heavy down.

Eagerly he had carried the filled tray up the stairs, and down the hall. Balancing the tray with one hand, he had pressed down the door handle, before he became aware of the unfamiliar sound behind the solid oak door. Slowly letting go of the door handle and taking one step back, he stood frozen, listening to noises that he didn't even know a human could make. A scary mix of fear, emptiness, and hurt reached him through the wood, in forms of cries, screams and sobs, it almost suffocated him.

Brian didn't know how long he had been standing there, when he slowly became aware that someone was trying to gain his attention. "Mr Cooper?" Confused, he turned towards the voice, and saw the butler standing a few meters away, holding an envelope. "Yes?" Brian quickly moved towards the man, subconsciously trying to shield his loved ones from any outsiders. Curiously glancing towards the sounds, the older man handed Brian the envelope. "A telegram just arrived for you Sir." Brian thanked him, but offered no explanations or excuses regarding the sounds. Silently he stood there, watching the man slowly retreat down the stairs.

Putting the tray, that he had been holding, on a nearby chair, Brian took the envelope in both hands and just looked at it for awhile, before finally tearing it open. A smile spread over his tense face as he read the message. Suddenly aware of that the cries from the opposite side of the door seemed to have subsided, he picked up the tray and hurried back towards the kitchen to ask Miss Beth to make some new tea.

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Later the same day…

The daylight had left, and the apartment was dark apart from some fragile rays of light from the gas lamps on the street, that had found their way through the windows, and cast spooky shadows. Almost looking like he had been cut in stone, Andrew sat alone at the kitchen table, staring at the telegram that lay before him. Not even daring to touch the paper, he had been sitting there since he had received it early in the morning. It had grown too dark to read the text now, but he knew every word; _"For Dr Michaela Quinn. I'm coming. Sully."_

What did it mean? Did Sully know? Had Michaela asked him to come? Of course he knew! The thought of facing his father-in-law made him sweat. Even though he had never seen Sully lose his temper, he had no doubts that it wouldn't be in any man's interest to make the quiet mountain-man mad. Knowing Sully as well as he did, he couldn't picture something that would upset him more than hurting his family, his loved ones. He felt like crying. Even though he only had vague memories of what had happened in the apartment two nights ago, he knew that it was not good.

If he could only find Colleen and make her see that he didn't mean it. She would forgive him, wouldn't she? But what if he had really hurt her? What if she was… NO, he couldn't even bear thinking that! Of course she would be alright. Everything would be alright. He just had to find her. Tomorrow he would ask around the hotels and perhaps even the hospitals. He would find her, and she would forgive him! Reassured by his newfound plan, he finally caved in to his exhaustion, and wearily made his way towards the empty bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

Chap 15

Michaela silently cursed herself, as she was unable to suppress a grimace while Brian carefully helped her on with her coat. Sensing his mother tense, Brian worriedly asked her if he had hurt her. "No Brian, I'm just little stiff. It's nothing to worry about," she forced a smile and turned to grab a scarf with the intention of covering up her now aggressively blue jaw, which strongly stood out against her otherwise very pale face.

"Mike please!" Sensing William's hand on her shoulder, she stiffly turned to face him. "Mike, you are not well. Please don't go!" he begged her. With clenched teeth, she strongly shook her head. "William please, you don't understand. I have to go. I need to talk to him!" Ever since Brian had told her that he had asked Matthew to come, and relieved to be able to show her the telegram, which informed them about his arrival, Michaela felt a growing anxiety. It was not that she didn't want Matthew to come, on the contrary; his presence always made her and his siblings feel safe, and his legal degree would certainly be useful, but his hot temper would not.

Brian, who was pretty sure of his mother's concerns, softly covered her hand that was holding the scarf. "Ma, I'm begging you! I couldn't stand if something were to happen to you! Won't you please stay? For me?... I won't tell Matthew anything! I promise! I will bring him straight here!" Still shaking her head, Michaela turned towards her son. "Brian, I..." The words failed her as she met his pain-filled eyes. The room became dead silent, and neither Brian nor William dared to even breathe, while they waited for Michaela to decide. Finally putting both hands in the air, she tiredly looked at her son. "Just make sure that he doesn't do anything rash?…" Brian's tense face broke into a relieved smile. "I promise Ma! I will bring him straight here." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, gave William a grateful look and hurried out the door.

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Andrew's face crumpled as he swallowed an additional gulp of whiskey. Lowering the bottle to the kitchen table, he nervously scratched his stubble, as he stared at the revolver lying within reach on the table. It was almost as if it was mocking him, lying there clean and shining among the rest of all the dirt and filth that surrounded him. He hadn't washed or eaten for days, and even he had to admit that the smell of the clothes he wore was atrocious.

As he thought back now on what his previous days had involved, he came to the conclusion that they really had only dwelt on one thing, that of finding Colleen. He had been searching for days; telling people a heartbreaking story about how he had been coming home after a business trip, finding his apartment trashed, his beloved wife missing and how he feared that something awful must have happened, but no one claimed to have seen his wife nor his mother-in-law.

As he now searched the slum areas, because both Colleen and himself had treated quite a few of these deprived citizens, and were consequently well-known among the inhabitants, he hoped that they may be of help. He also knew how both Michaela and Colleen easily fit in among the more misfortunate people, and could therefore seek refuge easily. . However, he had been surprised by the general hostility that he met. He had got a strong feeling that they for some reason didn't believe his story, he strongly felt unwelcomed, and didn't dare to continue.

Returning his thoughts, however unwillingly, to the present, Andrew was sure his mind was going in circles. All he could think was; Where was she? What had he done? Trying to make the horrible vision of Colleen's shocked face, the first time he had hit her, go away, he drank some more whiskey. Sweat was covering his face, and he jumped as heard something at the door. Sully. It had to be Sully. "This is it," he whispered to himself, staring at the door, expecting to see a tomahawk crashing through the wood any second.

After sitting there, staring at the quiet door for several minutes, Andrew let out a shaky breath. He wasn't here yet. There was still time. There hadn't been any arrival details in the telegram, but after checking the train timetable, he knew that Sully most likely would arrive in Boston any minute now. There wasn't much time; he needed to do it now. He needed to end it. The sweat was dripping down his temples, and his hand was shaking slightly, as he slowly reached for the revolver.

The revolver felt cold against his skin, while he sat there feeling the weight of it in his hand. This was the only way. An almost ghostly smile appeared on his face as his thoughts once again drifted to the past; this time his focus was on his arrival in Colorado Springs. The first time he saw Colleen. He clearly remembered her sweet smile, while she reached her small hand towards him, offering him help to stand, when he most embarrassingly had slipped in the mud. Oh God, how he loved her unique mix of fragility and strength, her beauty and her intelligence. "I'm so sorry Colleen" he whispered as he now placed the revolver against his head.

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Careful not to wake her sleeping daughter, Michaela closed the bedroom door, and restlessly started towards the big window facing the street at the end of the hall. After politely declining William's offer to walk her to her room, Michaela had stiffly made her way up the stairs, but after realizing that Colleen was sleeping, chosen not to enter their room. Even though she knew that it was far too early to expect her son's arrival, she was unable to resist looking out from behind the heavy curtains, and let her gaze wander over the street.

"Looking forward to seeing your son?" Michaela jumped as she heard Mollie's soft voice just behind her. "I'm so sorry Mike! I didn't mean to startle you!" Michaela's cheeks grew red, and she gave her friend an embarrassed smile. "No, don't be sorry. I just didn't hear you walk up, and yes, I must confess that I am a little eager to see my son!" She gave Mollie a meaningful look, before she continued. "And apart from the fact that I always wish to see him, his legal degree will most certainly come in handy." Her voice was cheerful, but her eyes had already retuned to worryingly searching the street.

Recognizing her friend's worry, Mollie put a comforting hand on Michaela's shoulder. "But his arrival also worries you?" she softly stated. First Michaela grew stiff, but then she turned towards her newfound friend with an amused smile. "I wouldn't last very long in a poker-game, would I?" she laughed before she turned serious again. "Matthew might be a brilliant lawyer, but when it comes to protecting the ones he loves he…" she paused and sought the right words, "he tends to react before he thinks." She shrugged her shoulders, as if trying to remove some tension, but her eyes threatened to run over. "It's just that he has been through so much; he lost his fiancée just before their wedding. He was abandoned by his father as a young child, and the responsibility he felt for his younger siblings when their mother died, he…" she grew quiet as she saw the shocked expression on Mollie's face.

"Their mother?" Mollie looked very confused, "but I thought they were your children? I mean you seem so close…" Seeing Mollie's embarrassment, Michaela gave her a warm, reassuring smile. "We are, and they are my children in every way that matters. They were a precious gift from their mother on her deathbed, and even though we had a tough start," she smiled at the memories, "they quite soon became the centre of my heart."

"So that's why you don't share your last name? It didn't make any sense to me," Mollie thoughtfully nodded, and then embarrassed hurried to add: "Not that it is any business of mine." Michaela's eyes shone with amusement. "Oh, the last-name story. That's often cause for misunderstandings," she smiled. "Matthew, Colleen and Brian kept their own family name, Cooper, and since my husband and I were only blessed with one child of our own, Katie, is the only one carrying my husband's name, Sully." She paused, and just as she expected, Mollie looked even more confused. "Sully?" she asked. "Yes, my husband's name is Byron Sully. I kept my maiden name, Quinn." Jokingly she added; "But I'm the only one wearing a ring." Laughing she held up her hands to signal that that was a whole other story. Astonished, Mollie eyed the woman in front of her. "He must be quite a man, your husband," her voice filled with admiration. Michaela's face had a dream like expression, and her voice filled with love, as she agreed. "That he is."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chap 16**

Sully was already standing by the door, as the train slowly rolled in to the Boston train-station a few hours after schedule. Wiping his sweaty hands against his leather jacket, he was totally unaware of all the disapproving eyes staring at him. Slightly uncomfortable, but just as relieved to finally arrive, Matthew joined him, struggling with his cumbersome luggage. Silently comparing his own amount of baggage with Sully's, he almost felt embarrassed; since when did he need all this stuff? Had he really changed that much during the last couple of years? Frowning, he realized that most of it was work, that he had planned to do during the trip. How had he even been able to believe that he would be able to concentrate on some meaningless lawsuits, knowing his little sister needed him? And Dr Mike? Sitting beside Sully during the last couple of days, had done nothing to ease his already worried mind.

Sully's anxiety had grown worse by the hour, as he had been forced to sit and do nothing. The unexpected stop a couple of hours earlier had really made him lose it. Matthew had been forced to make him sit back down on his seat, as he desperately had tried to leave the train, planning to do the last part by foot. "It's too far! You will not get there any faster by foot! Sit down! The train will start to move any minute now, I know it!" Looking at his friend standing just in front of him, Matthew's mind replayed the orders he had almost shouted at Sully a few hours before. He was not used to seeing Sully, who normally was the steady rock that his friends and family could lean on, so close to madness. Watching him searching the appearing platform now, it suddenly hit him how much Sully actually resembled Wolf, focusing on a target.

Sully was off the train, even before it had come to a complete stop, and his eyes wildly searched for Michaela's face among the crowded platform, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Abruptly turning, he found himself looking upon the very familiar face of a tall young man. "Sully?!" Before Sully had even realized what happened, the young man threw himself into his arms. Half a second later, Sully's tired brain, which only had been programmed to search the face of his Heartsong, finally realized that the tall man hanging around his neck was indeed his son. Neither of them was aware of all the curious and disapproving looks that they received, as they stood in the middle of the crowded platform; one well dressed, apparently well bred young man, and by the look of it, a very roughly appearing half-breed, hugging each other tightly.

Taking a firm grip around his youngest son's shoulders, Sully pushed him backwards. Sully's blue eyes were intense, almost reminding Brian of a wild animal, as he met his father's gaze. "Where is your Ma?" Sully's words direct and simple, but his voice held nothing but fear. Taken aback by his father's unexpected arrival, and totally exhausted by all the worry and emotional strain he had experienced since his arrival back to the States, Brian found himself speechless. Where was he supposed to begin? How would he ever be able to explain? He shook his head.

Misinterpreting Brian's silent headshaking, Sully totally panicked and yelled. "WHERE IS SHE?" as he violently shook the young man in front of him. "Hey!" Matthew yelled; as he used all the strength he possessed trying to pull Sully away from his little brother. "Take it easy!"

A policeman, who had been standing a couple of meters away, rushed forward and grabbed Sully from behind, trying to lock his arms behind his back. By pure instinct Sully sent the man to the ground, before realizing his mistake. Suddenly feeling totally powerless, Sully dropped down on his knees, gazing up upon the shocked face of his youngest son. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he mumbled, and his eyes screamed of anxiety, fear and regrets.

Matthew reached down and helped the dazed policeman to his feet, but it was not until the police started fumbling after his handcuffs, with the obvious purpose of arresting Sully, that Brian found his ability to speak again. "No, please don't do that!" Brian begged as he turned towards the surprised policeman. "It's not what it looks like, and I'm offering my sincere apology for you getting affected by this," he continued, before turning towards Sully. "She is okay Sully. I promise. She is safe – They both are." Brian reassured, looking at his father with eyes that held nothing but love and compassion.

Feeling a wave of relief wash over him, leaving him completely exhausted, Sully just sat there pleading with his eyes for his son to give him more answers. The answers that he so desperately had sought, but before Brian had a chance to continue, the policeman hurried to handcuff Sully. Sully didn't even react, his begging eyes never leaving Brian's face. "NO PLEASE! You don't understand!" Brian took a fast step towards the Policeman, putting a protective hand on Sully's shoulder. "My name is Brian Cooper and I'm a writer at the Boston Globe," nodding towards Matthew he continued: "this is my brother Matthew Cooper. He is a lawyer." Matthew reached out his hand to greet the other man, who looked very confused, and was very unwilling to let go of the wild half-breed, that he had just managed to capture, just to shake the lawyer's hand. Choosing to greet the brothers with a simple nod, he tried to force Sully to stand. "And this man," Brian's hand was still resting on Sully's shoulder, "is Byron Sully – our father."

Shock was written all over the policeman's face, and a murmur of surprise went through the curious crowd, that had gathered up around them, while everyone searched for any kind of resemblance between the two gentlemen and the savage. Suddenly aware of all the staring eyes surrounding them, Brian felt very uncomfortable. "Our family has been under great stress lately, and as I said; we are awfully sorry for what just happened," he pleaded with a low voice. Still addressing the officer in front of them, but locking his eyes with Sully's, Brian continued. "I will explain. I will explain it all," making a brief pause, letting his gaze wander over the gathered crowd; he gave the policeman a meaningful look before starting to speak again "but is there somewhere we can speak in private?"

Unable to deny the sincerity in the young man's begging voice, the Police officer hesitated only for a brief moment before nodding his agreement. The savage still scared him, but he didn't object as the two men gently helped the man to stand. Grabbing the strange man's leather coat, he pushed him through the crowd, towards the empty room behind the ticket window. Sensing the two men following him, he silently questioned the wisdom of his decision.

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Michaela restlessly wandered back and forward in the hallway, halting only to gaze out on the street every time she reached the big window. Her entire body ached, but even though she had received a message from Brian, informing her that the train had been delayed, she felt unable to set aside her growing anxiety and relax. It was not just the worry about Matthew's reaction that haunted her. She could not really explain it, and most likely it was just her own mind reacting to the stress, but during the last couple of days it felt like a different kind of anguish had grown stronger in her chest. Knowing the insanity of her own thoughts, she couldn't help but believe that it was Sully's feelings filling her heart. Last night she had even dreamt about him; clearly seen his haunted face as he appeared to be uncomfortable, and was sitting on train, whispering her name.

Almost amused by her own creativity, she strongly shook her head. Dreams and wishes; that was all it was. How she wished to have her husband by her side, longed to be in his safe embrace and to hear his soothing voice whisper in her ear. He was her safe heaven, the only person to who she could truly unmask her inner soul. He felt so close, and yet so troubled, but it could not be. He was not even to be expected back in Colorado Springs yet, and there was no way to get word to him. She had considered sending him a telegram, which would be waiting for his arrival, but knowing Horace's sometime misplaced kindness, she feared that that the message somehow would reach Katie. Seeing their youngest daughter's tear streamed face before her, where she stood next to Grace, waving goodbye as the train slowly started to roll away from the platform, she felt a heavy lump in her throat. No, she would have to delay sending the telegram; the last thing she wanted was to worry Katie further.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chap 17**

The air was thick with tension, and everyone seemed consumed with their own thoughts and feelings, as the carriage got closer to its destination.

Sully was silent, his jaw tightly clenched as he sat tensely beside Matthew. Looking down at his hands, he could still see the marks from where the handcuffs had been sitting. Brian's unsteady voice still rang in his ears; telling them about Andrew, and all the horrible events that had taken place in the Cook's apartment. He had realized that this was the very same night he had the first vision and left the camp. He felt such a mixture of emotions, the few he could put into words included; emptiness, fury, and above all guilt. The darkness was threatening to overwhelm him as he thought about Andrew and their history together. He had actually encouraged the man to propose to his daughter, he had proudly walked her down the aisle and happily given Andrew her hand. The young man he thought he could trust, the young doctor that he thought he would always feel in debt to for saving Michaela's life. Now he just didn't know what to think.

Raising his head, Sully met the gaze of the policeman. Seeing the lingering hesitation in the man's eyes, he suddenly realized what a great risk the man had taken, choosing to take the word of, for him, three complete strangers. Only the fact that the man had given them a chance to really explain their situation, after being beaten down in a public place, was remarkable, but his actions after hearing Brian's words truly amazing. Before Brian had even had a chance to finish his story, the shocked policeman had literally been forced to block the door to keep a very upset Matthew from storming out, and then help Brian to force him back on the chair.

Matthew had gone completely mad, but Sully had just been sitting there, unable to move. His entire being filled with pain as he listened to his son. The policeman had stayed quiet a few minutes after Brian had finished, letting the information he had just gained sink down, before he, ever so carefully, asked the young man in front of him about the whereabouts of his mother and sister now. Worryingly glancing at Sully, Brian had informed the policeman that both Michaela and Colleen were safe and cared for at the home of a friend of the family, Dr William Burke. Sully's face showed no emotions.

When the policeman asked, "Can you confirm if this incident was reported to the police?" The man had eyed Brian closely, trying to judge the sincerity of the young man. "No Sir, I…," Brian had looked like a schoolboy being reprimanded for not doing his homework but continued, "I thought that it would be safer to lay low until Matthew could come here. That he would know what to do. I mean, he's a lawyer and all." The man had obviously recognized Brian's innocent and caring nature, and his face had softened, but his eyes remained painfully dark. "I know Son, I know," apparently lost in thoughts, he had made a slow nod, "and regrettably it might have even been wise." Dejectedly the officer had shrugged his shoulders. "Abuse within the family are more common than people would like to admit, and in most cases the law seems powerless to prevent it." He had paused and even when he had started to talk again it had sounded like he was still thinking. "But this case might be different," his voice suddenly seemed to regain the energy as he continued, "this man has not only hurt his wife, he also abused his mother in law and we have got at least two witnesses!" Turning towards Brian he had eagerly asked if he believed that his mother would be prepared to stand as a witness.

"Of course she will!" Before Brain even had had a chance to answer, Matthew had been on his feet. "Dr Mike will do what she has to do, and we are going to bring that bastard down!" His voice had still been filled with wrath, but he had started to think and react like a lawyer.

Slightly hesitating, the policeman had let his eyes wander over the three men before him, trying to predict if he would be able to trust their judgment, and ability control themselves. His eyes had stopped at Sully, who still hadn't said a word. "You do understand that I couldn't possibly let you go after this man by yourself, don't you?" The room had been dead silent. With his eyes still locked on the unmoving Sully, he had desperately tried to figure out the rugged appearance of the man before him, he continued. "I understand your anger, I really do," he had said with what had appeared to be genuine emphasis. "I will arrest this man," turning to Matthew before he had continued, "and then it will be your job to make him stay behind bars. You may all accompany me to find him, but I want your words as gentlemen, that you will not under any circumstances interfere with my work, do you understand?"

"You got it" Surprised, everyone had turned towards Sully, not completely sure if the low, hoarse voice they just had heard really belonged to him. As if he had just woken out of a trance, he had looked directly at the policeman, before resolutely turning towards his adoptive sons, still using the unfamiliar voice, as he had added: "We need to do this the right way. For Colleen's sake. We owe her that." His thoughts went to Michaela, and how she was coping. He knew that she was certainly blaming herself for this, unjustly, and he definitely was. For everyone's sake this had to be handled through the correct channels.

Much to everyone's surprise, perhaps even his own, the Police officer had simply walked up to Sully and uncuffed him. "Let's go," he had stated and indicated for Brian to lead the way.

Meeting his gaze now, realizing how much this stranger had done for him and his family, Sully silently communicated his thanks.

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"Dr Cook?" The police officer repeated the hard knocking on the door. "Dr Andrew Cook? Please open the door! It's the police!" Brian, Matthew and Sully stood deadly still behind the officer, willing the closed door to open. It didn't. No sounds were heard from the other side. "Dr Cook! Open up!" the policeman tried again, before dejectedly turning towards the tense men standing behind him. "Sorry, he doesn't seem to be home, or he just doesn't want to open. I will try to see if I can find someone who can open up the door for…" he didn't even got to finish his sentence before he felt Sully's hand firmly pushing him to the side.

"Open up Andrew! Or I will!" Sully said with a loud voice, staring at the door with ice cold eyes. He could not take it anymore. He needed to face the poor excuse for a man. He needed to see Michaela. With her face before his eyes, he literally attacked the solid oak door, trying to force it open with his shoulder. On his second attempt, he had Matthew by his side, and both men rushed towards the door like raging bulls towards a red cloth. The door broke open, sending both men tumbling down on the hallway floor inside.

The awful smell of stale alcohol was the first thing that met Sully as he quickly got up. While reaching down, pulling Matthew to his feet, he concentrated, listening for sounds, but the apartment seemed completely empty. Silently he signaled for the others to spread out and search the place, before gracefully creeping down the hallway towards the master bedroom.

Shocked by the sight before him, he abruptly stopped in the door way. The room was a mess. The remains of the bedclothes on the unmade bed, were partly down on the floor, one of the bedside tables was totally shattered, and laid in pieces together with a crushed whiskey bottle. The closet door stood open; all Colleen's clothes had been thrown out, and in obvious fury, torn to pieces. However, it was not the mess that had caught Sully's eyes; it was the darker spots on the wooden floor. Dried blood. Suddenly he felt hard to breathe; was it Michaela's? Or was it Colleen's?

As he slowly entered the room, wrath started pumping through his veins with even more intensity than before. He could hear his own pulse hammering in his head. "I will kill you for this," he hissed through clenched teeth, before abruptly turning and almost colliding with Brian, who silently had been observing him from the door. Before any of them had had a chance to react, Matthew turned up, waving a piece of paper, and with the policeman on his heels.

"He's gone! The little coward just packed off and left!" Matthew was still waving the paper, as he heatedly continued, "that Bastard thinks it will be enough just to write her a letter telling her he's sorry! He's sorry!!!" The sarcasm was written over his entire being as he spat out the words. "He will pay alright! I will hunt him down, and I'm gonna make sure he wished that he had never been born!"

"I'm sorry!" Hearing Brian's almost ghostly voice, everyone silenced and turned toward the young man. "I'm sorry I let him get away! I ought to have made him pay when I had the chance!" Hearing the very unfamiliar hatred in his beloved son's voice sent cold chills down Sully's spine. "I weren't man enough! I'm weak! I'm sorry!" Guilt and shame were written all over his young face, and he radiated such anger that Sully suddenly felt fear. He didn't recognize the sweet boy who in his own caring way had always managed not only to see the good in people, but also to bring it out. The wonderful little boy, whom he proudly called his son.

"No Son!" As if trying to hold on to the old Brian, Sully strongly gripped his shoulders. "You're wrong! You're not weak! You saved them! Kept them safe!" Sully's voice was filled with emotions, desperately trying to reach his son, but Brian just shook his head. "Matthew and you… you would never have let him get away! You would have made him pay, and you know it!" Searching for help, Sully glanced towards Matthew, who's arm, even though it was still gripping the letter, had fallen down his side, as he speechlessly stood there staring at his little brother.

Sully closed his eyes, and took a moment trying to collect his thoughts before he started to speak again. "You're probably right. Matthew and me – Matthew and I," he didn't even know why he had bothered to correct himself, perhaps just to buy himself some more time, "we tend to act before we think, but that don't make it right. Being hotheaded doesn't make you a man!" He paused, his voice softening as he continued: "You are one of the most compassionate, unselfish, and caring people I have ever known. You listen to people. You think before you act. They are all qualities from your mothers, both of them," he added, tears developing in his eyes.

Changing the positions of his hands, holding Brian's arm, as if greeting his brother, Sully much to his relief, once again was able to see the soul that he loved, within the young man's eyes. "It wouldn't take a man to punish a coward like Andrew. It would take a man to pity him; to realize that he's not even worth paying attention to. I'm proud to call you my son." Both of them looked up as they felt Matthew's hand joining their connected ones. "I love you little brother," Matthew said with a hoarse voice, fighting to control his emotions.

Suddenly seeing the muddy dress, that Brian was clenching in his other hand, Sully was brought back to reality. Michaela. He had to get to Michaela. He abruptly let go of his sons, took one step backwards, before starting to run toward the main door. "I need to see Michaela," he called over his shoulder as he disappeared out on the crowed street.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chap. 18**

Sweat was covering his forehead as he finally reached the entrance of the Burke-residence, and impatiently knocked on the door, before bending forward trying to catch his breath. After what felt like an eternity, the door slowly opened, and a grey-haired woman peeked out through the narrow opening. "Yes?" she asked, suspiciously eyeing the ruggedly dressed man standing outside the door. "Mame" Sully polity greeted her, trying hard to control his eagerness. "I'm looking for my wife, Dr Michaela Quinn?"

Beth skeptically eyed the strange man; Dr Quinn's husband? Did he really believe that she would buy that? Dr Quinn was a lady, and a lady of some breeding at that, this man looked like some kind of wild Indian. No, this was a trick, and Dr Burke had given both Herman and herself strict orders that, under no circumstances, were they to reveal any knowledge about their guests. Doing her best to hide her fear, she resolutely shook her head. "I'm sorry Sir, but I do not have any knowledge about a Dr Quinn."

Realizing that the woman was about to close the door, Sully desperately put his foot to block it. "Please, you don't understand! I need to see her!" he begged, trying to make the old lady understand. Beth tried her best not to let her fear show, while she used all the strength she possessed to close the door. "I told you Sir, I never heard about a Dr Quinn!"

Fighting hard not to lose control over his emotions, Sully willed himself to focus. "Dr Burke then? Can I please talk to Dr Burke?" Determined not to let this savage anywhere near either the guests or her employers, Beth once again strongly shook her head. "Dr Burke is busy with a patient. You won't be allowed to see him unless you have made an appointment," she said with a loud voice, which was bordering on shouting.

Sensing another presence beside her, Beth glanced out of the corner of her eye to see who it was. She had never before felt more relieved to have Herman in the house. She felt his hands suddenly join hers, fighting to keep the intruder out. Both of them pushed the door with all their might. However, Sully still had his foot jammed through the narrow opening, and was desperately trying to convince them to let him in, so consequently neither Beth nor Herman had any success in their job.

When Beth heard Mrs Burke's fear-filled voice right behind her saying, "I already sent for the police! You better leave!" she almost jumped in surprise. Beth had managed to catch a glimpse of the normally characterless housewife, standing in the hallway, holding a rolling pin before her as a weapon, obviously determined not to let the intruder in.

Police? Sully had had enough, he couldn't think, he had to see her. "MICHAELA!!!" his voice echoed through the big house, as he easily threw open the door, and pushed himself past the servants. "You can't come in here!" Herman desperately yelled as he unsuccessfully tried to stop Sully.

"What's going on here?!" Everyone stopped as the clinic-door suddenly burst open, revealing a very annoyed doctor. William took a rapid step out in the hallway, but abruptly froze, as he found himself staring directly into the face that had been haunting him for more than a decade. The face contained a few more lines, the long brown hair had started to shift a little in grey, but otherwise he looked completely the same. William's memory of the night they had first met was as strong as if it were yesterday. Sully had followed Michaela to Boston, and then had the temerity to show up uninvited during the banquet at the Quinn-residence; the result of this was William's dreams being forever crushed. "Sully?" his voice bore witness not only of surprise, but also of strong awkwardness. Shaking off Herman's hands, which had been resting possessively upon his shoulders, Sully hesitantly nodded towards the familiar man. "William," he greeted him, as the two of them stood there staring at each other.

Mollie slowly lowered the rolling pin, as her watchful eyes wandered between the wild looking intruder and her husband. Sully? Dr Mike's Sully? She carefully eyed the roughly dressed man before her, his long hair and several days beard growth, but most of all she saw his haunted eyes, and before she even heard her husband's voice again she knew. "It's okay Herman," she finally heard William say, "this is Mr Sully," his voice low, almost unsteady and he was forced to take a brief pause in order to collect himself, before being able to complete the introduction, "Dr Quinn's husband."

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Michaela had finally given up pacing the hallway, and had laid down to rest beside her daughter, when she heard a very familiar voice shouting her name. Sully! Was it just in her head? It must have been; he had filled her dreams every time she closed her eyes lately, but the torment in his voice had almost torn her heart out; it felt so real, and she just had to make sure.

Careful not disturb Colleen, Michaela stiffly climbed out of the bed, making a silent grimace as she did. Feeling the sharp pain in her side, she almost regretted getting up, but the growing restlessness inside of her wouldn't let her relax, so why not just humor her own imagination and at least peek down the stairs? Casting one last glance at Colleen's face, which for now was peaceful, Michaela crept out the door, and towards the stairs.

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Beth and Herman just stood there totally dumbstruck, staring the man that they had fought so hard to keep out, still not really sure what to believe. "Where is she?" Sully demanded, his eyes begging to see his Heartsong. Before anyone had managed to collect themselves enough to answer, a noise was heard from the stairs. Everyone's attention was directed towards the sound, and Sully's breathe caught in his throat as he finally saw Her.

"Sully?" Michaela was standing in the middle of the stairs, staring at her husband, not really sure if he was really there. "Michaela…" In an instant, Sully was on his way up the stairs, pulling Michaela into a powerful embrace.

Feeling Sully's arms squeeze her sore ribs, Michaela called out in pain. Almost as if he had been burned, Sully let go of his beloved wife, and momentarily lost his footing. Immediately forgetting her own discomfort, Michaela reached for her husband, and held his arm until he found his balance. "Michaela?" Sully's voice was filled with worry, as he carefully observed his Heartsong. "I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?" His blue eyes quickly wandered over her loosely fitting dress, and stopped at her now dark-green jaw.

Michaela swallowed a sob, and bravely shook her head. "No Sully, you didn't. You never have… I'm just… I can't believe that you are really here...?" She swallowed another sob, desperately trying to stay in control. "My God Michaela, what did he do to you...?" Sully whispered, as he softly reached out and touched her bruised jaw with feather light fingers. Michaela's hand reassuringly covered his at her face. "It's okay. Just hold me. Please…" she managed to mumble, as her tear-filled eyes; the beautiful eyes that could melt his soul, begged to be held in his safe embrace.

Terrified to hurt her, but unable to deny her wish, he ever so carefully held out his arms, offering her the comfort she so obviously needed. As Michaela stepped into his safe embrace, she felt her emotional-dam, which she had so thoroughly built, burst, and she allowed her tears to soak Sully's shirt clad chest.

Feeling totally out of place, William watched the tightly embraced couple. Hearing Michaela call out in pain, had caused him to move towards the stairs, but seeing how naturally she sought the comfort in Sully's arms, had painfully reminded him that she wasn't his to care for, and never really had been if he was honest with himself. Watching them standing together, in the middle of the stairs, he realized that they might be two bodies, but only one soul. He finally accepted that this was something he would never have been able to offer Michaela. As he abruptly turned to seek the comfort of his empty clinic, his eyes met his wife's, and that moment he knew that she knew. They all knew, but much to his surprise her eyes didn't held any anger; they only held some amount of sorrow, but most of all they held pity. Highly embarrassed he hurried into his office and closed the door.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chap. 19**

The policeman had taken a few fast steps after Sully's disappearing figure, but as he had reached the door the strangely dressed man had been no were to be seen. Confused, he just stood there watching the busy street, not really understanding how a man with an appearance that stood out so strongly, could disappear amongst the crowd, without apparently leaving a trail. "Where did he go?" he mumbled, not even sure himself if the question was for Cooper brothers or himself.

"He needed to see Ma." Brian simply stated, repeating his father's words as if it had been the most natural explanation in the world. "But…" The Police officer questioningly looked between Brian and out through the open door, before continuing, "He didn't take the carriage…" The officer just didn't know what to make of the situation; he still hadn't succeeded figuring the strange man out, and now he had just vanished. "I also need to meet her – take her statement, and Dr Burke's residence is located on the other side of the city; it would be much faster using the carriage than going by foot. Why didn't he just wait?" The man looked really confused by now, and the expression didn't improve by seeing the brothers share a knowing smile.

"Sully won't be walking," Matthew grinned. Looking slightly amused, Brian added: "He will beat us there for sure."

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After finally breaking the embrace, Michaela gratefully noticed that everyone seemed to have left, in order to give them some privacy. Turning her tear-stained face up towards that of her beloved Sully, she gave him the crocked smile, which he loved so much. "I still can't believe that you're actually here," she whispered, her voice hoarse by emotions. His tear-filled blue eyes looked straight into hers, with such intensity it set goose bumps down her arms, and he softly reached out, caressing her bruised jaw again. "I felt your pain Michaela… I felt your fear…. And when I got home and you weren't there…" his voice completely broke, and he fought hard to swallow a sob, in order to be able to finish his sentence; "I thought that I had lost you!"

"I was so scared Sully! Andrew he…" Sully saw Michaela shudder by only mentioning his name, and how she struggled to find the words to tell him. Knowing that it would be easier for her to tell him when she was truly ready for it, Sully calmed her by gently running his fingers through her long hair. "Brian told me Michaela," he hoarsely whispered, letting the fingers of his left hand linger, reassuringly, playing with her soft curls, "and I will be here when you are ready to talk." He watched her take a deep breath, and gratefully saw some of the tension leave her body.

Michaela's eyes shone with love and gratefulness, as she eyed the man of her heart, and gracefully reached out her hand to take his. Silently she led him up the stairs, and towards the guestroom, which Brian used, knowing that the closed door would provide the privacy that both of them so badly needed.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Michaela felt new tears well up in her eyes. "Michaela?" Sully worryingly asked, willing to do anything to take away her pain. "Just hold me" Michaela mumbled, longing to feel the warmth and strength of his safe embrace.

Carefully Sully pulled her back into his arms, suddenly feeling alarmed about how thin she felt against him, as he comfortingly rocked her in a soothing motion. Silently he stood there, willing her his strength, as she suddenly pulled back, smiling through the tears. Her big eyes held hope and happiness when they met his. "I almost forgot, but I have something to tell you," she smiled, "are you up to having little feet running around the homestead again?"

Not really knowing what to believe, Sully froze, staring at his wife. "You're pregnant?" he finally managed to ask. His blue eyes holding a strong mix of hope and dread, and he reached for her as if he feared she was going to break.

Surprised, Michaela looked at him, before realizing how her words must have sounded. "Oh no Sully, I didn't mean… I'm sorry… I'm far too old for that," she regretfully apologized, looking slightly embarrassed. "So you're okay?" Sully asked, relief washing over his tense face. Seeing her husband relax, Michaela once again gave him a playful smile. "I was merely trying to tell you that you are going to be a grandpa…"

"Colleen is having a baby?" he asked, concern reflecting in his face as he watched his wife confirm with a slightly nervous nod. Realizing that there was a lot more to the story, Sully hesitatingly asked: "She wants the baby?" while carefully eyeing her expression. The joy in her big eyes clouded over, and she hesitated, not really sure about the answer, and unable to find the strength to explain the whole situation. "I think so," she finally managed to say, "but Sully," her voice broke, and as she grew even paler Sully feared that she was going to collapse. Firmly he led her to the bed and made her sit down, before bending down before her.

"What is it Michaela? Did Andrew hurt her? I mean, did he do anything to hurt the baby?" He felt his heart race within his chest, as he looked into her pain-filled eyes, waiting for her to tell him. "No… I mean yes; he kicked her in the stomach, but miraculously the baby seems fine," she corrected herself, while new tears welled up in her eyes, and a violent sob shook her small body. "He has been beating her for so long Sully! I wasn't there, and…" she almost choked on her own words before being able to finishing the sentence; "she never told me! Why didn't she feel she could tell me?..."

Knowing his wife as well as he did, her reaction was no surprise for him, and he comfortingly squeezed her knees. Feeling that he was the only person with whom she confided her anguish made Sully feel an immense sense of pride. However, he knew now was not the time to thank her for putting her trust and faith in him. No, now, he had to try and find the words to assuage this potentially damaging downward spiral. All he could come up with was, "She would have, you know, eventually. I'm sure of that ", Still trying to convince her, as fruitless as it was, Sully continued, "She is your daughter you know; she is proud, and she doesn't want to be a burden, but that doesn't mean she doesn't trust you!" Only by looking at her, he knew that his words had not been enough.

"I thought she would be able to tell me anything; that we were close! She is my daughter! I ought to have known! And he… he even… he bet her in poker!" Sully felt his blood freeze to ice in his veins, as he sat there staring at his heartsong, as she spat out the words with such intense disgust and hatred, that he had never seen within her before. "Michaela?" he tried, not sure if he would be prepared to face what she was trying to tell him.

"Sully! He lost our little girl in a game of poker!" she cried. "What?!" Sully felt his heart almost stop; what did she mean? No, she couldn't mean... "He lost her Sully! He brought the man home, and he… he left…" Hearing her rambling words, Sully bolted straight up, his blood boiling under the skin. Andrew!!! That… his brain couldn't even work out a way to finish that thought. He would track him down, and he would… With his hammering pulse drowning everything in his head, he abruptly turned and rushed towards the door. Consumed with anger, he just didn't think; he needed to get him! He would get Andrew!

"Sully!" The pure vulnerability in her voice, as she cried out his name, cut straight into his heart, and he abruptly stopped, his hand pressing down the door handle. "Sully please…" The pleading in her words made him unable to continue. Slowly he let go of the handle, and turned just in time to see his normally strong and independent wife collapse on the floor. A sharp pain rushed through his body, cutting deep into his side. "Michaela!" he shouted, rushing back, throwing himself on the floor beside her. "Michaela, oh please, Michaela… I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…" he mumbled, his voice filled with guilt and regret. "Talk to me! Please you got to tell me what's wrong!" he pleaded, feeling pure panic as he totally helplessly watched his beloved wife struggle to breathe. "I will go get William, just hold on Michaela! Hold on!" he croaked, but before he managed to get on his feet, he felt Michaela grabbing his shirt. "Don't go…" she hissed out, working hard to breathe through the pain. "Please stay…" she pleaded, still clutching the rough fabric of his shirt in her hand.

Relieved to see that she slowly seemed to improve, he sank back down on the floor, ever so carefully taking her into his arms. "I'm here Michaela. I'm here… I will never leave you." He whispered, feeling her body begin to relax against his chest. Once again getting overwhelmed by how vulnerable and fragile she felt, he silently cursed Andrew's violence and his own stupidity. Painfully aware of how close he had come to losing her, he vowed to himself never to let that happen again.

Sensing her breathing returning to normal, he slowly released her, moving back an inch in order to see her face. "What's wrong Michaela? Please you got to tell me…" his tear filled eyes begging her for the truth. Knowing that without a doubt he would see straight through her, she felt unable to look fully into his searching eyes. "I'm fine, just a little sore," she tried, managing a forced smile. "No you are not! You're hurt, and you got to tell me," he demanded, softly forcing her to meet his gaze.

Hesitating, not really prepared yet to talk about what had really happen, but with an urgent need to tell him what was really tearing her apart, Michaela, almost shyly glanced into his haunted face. "I am sore," she tried to convince him, "I just got up a little too quickly…" she offered, but quickly realized that Sully quietly observed her, waiting for her to go on, and that he wouldn't settle with anything but the truth. Dejected, she shrugged her shoulders, and quietly added: "I have some bruises and a… few cracked ribs…"

"You got what?!" Sully blurted out in shock, instantly reaching for her, as if trying to protect her. "Oh Michaela, what did he do to you?... Is it really okay for you being up; shouldn't you be in bed?..." he asked, his eyes reflecting nothing but worry. "I'm fine Sully," she tried, but corrected herself after meeting his intense gaze, "I will be now you're here… Really."

Totally unconvinced by her words, Sully watched her beautiful face screw up, as the tears that she so desperate had tried to fight, once again started running down her cheeks in an increased intensity. "Michaela please… tell me what to do… Are you in pain? You got to let me help you…" he begged, wanting nothing but to hold her, but fearing he would cause her more pain.

"She… she doesn't want to come home…" Michaela finally managed to mumble between her heartbreaking sobs.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chap. 20**

Matthew nervously followed Mrs Burke up the stairs and down the hallway. He had been taken aback by the woman's strong resemblance with Dr Mike, as she had entered the room to greet the newly arrived guests. Given the history between William Burke and Dr Mike, it had made him feel quite awkward. Mrs Burke however had been very polite, and even though she had seemed a little bit surprised to find them accompanied by a police officer, she had kept a straight face and after Brian's brief explanation of the nature of the officer's presence, she had kindly offered him the use of the library.

After asking the older housemaid, who had opened the door, for some tea for the guests, she had as discreetly as possible turned to Brian. With Mollie being clearly embarrassed, she told him that she believed his mother and that Mister, hesitating briefly before adding Sully's name, had entered his bedroom. With no surprise showing on the young man's face, she had almost shyly offered to let Michaela know that Matthew and the officer had arrived. Seeing the woman's discomfort Brian had politely turned down her offer, and told her that he would go up and inform her himself. However, before he had had a chance to leave, the officer, who had obviously missed Mrs Burke's unease about the whole situation, had cleared his throat, and told Brian that it might be more effective if Mrs Burke wouldn't mind alerting Mrs Sully, since he needed to take Brian's official statement as well. After given Matthew a pleading gaze, Brian had politely agreed, and showed the officer towards the library.

After watching his younger brother disappear, Matthew had turned towards Mrs Burke and given her a sincere smile. Matthew had begun by saying, "Brian told me about all you and Dr Burke have done for Colleen and Dr Mike, and I would like to thank you," however he was then cut off by Mollie, who had told him that they had been more than happy to help. Sensing that protocol needed to be adhered to, Matthew asked, "Would you mind if I accompanied you upstairs? I would really like to see Dr Mike," In an attempt to cover up his growing nervousness, he had given her a meaningful gaze and added: "And I probably ought to tell her about the police officer…"

Still feeling her cheeks grow hot, at the memory of the intense feelings radiating from the, by the seemingly, highly unmatched couple, so Mollie had gratefully accepted the lawyer's request. She had only watched them for a few minutes, but it had been enough to realize that her new friend and that strange man shared something so strong, that she could only begin to imagine. It made her feel both empty and embarrassed at the same time.

Leading the way up the stairs, she could not help to steal a curious glance over her shoulder at the handsome man walking behind her. She could hardly believe that this broad-shouldered man, probably only a couple of years younger than herself, was the one that Dr Mike only a few hours before had referred to as her son. Somehow she had pictured him to be a slightly older version of Brian; tall, slender and with a huge portion of boyish charm. Matthew Cooper on first glances appeared to be nothing of what she had expected. He seemed to be of a quiet nature, sharp, and his eyes wore witness of pain and loneliness. She could not help but think of all the losses that Dr Mike had told her that he had been forced to endure. Realizing that they had reached their destination, she stopped and gestured towards the closed door. "This is Mr Cooper's room" she said, fighting hard not to blush at the thought of the couple inside. Forcing herself to focus, she made a gesture towards a door further down the hallway before she continued: "Your sister is resting in there."

"Thank you," Matthew smiled, watching Mrs Burke disappear down the stairs again, before nervously turning back towards the door. Hesitating, he just stood there, trying to gather up the courage to knock on the door. A part of him was really anxious to see Dr Mike, but after spending the last few days with a freaked out Sully, and hearing Brian's story, he feared what he was going to see. Dr Mike meant so much to him, and he hated the idea of seeing her hurt. Knowing the couple on the other side of the door as well as he did, he also knew that they really needed each other right now, and he didn't want to intrude. He glanced towards the door, which according to Mrs Burke held Colleen, and he considered visiting her first, but the idea of seeing his little sister hurt, felt even worse, if that were possible. He also reminded himself that the officer was waiting down stairs. Knowing that he owed Dr Mike to at least prepare her, he softly knocked on the door. "Dr Mike? It's me, Matthew," he called, trying hard to suppress the uneasy feelings that threatened to choke him.

When there was no reply Matthew tried again. "Dr Mike? Are you in there?" He knocked a little harder, but felt a little stupid when he heard Sully's strained voice. "Just a second Matthew" Awkwardly he stood there for another few seconds, before Dr Mike asked him to come in. The uncharacteristic hoarseness in her low voice made him hesitate. When he finally opened the door, he halted immediately, taking in the unfamiliar scene before him. In the middle of the room Sully gently helped Dr Mike, almost lifting her off the floor. Even though Matthew couldn't see her face, the way he heard her suck in the air and her stiff movements, made him instantly aware of her deep pain. "Dr Mike?!" He caught himself holding his breath, as she turned to face him.

"Matthew!" she greeted him, giving him a warm and genuine smile, but all he could see in that moment were the bruised jaw that so aggressively stood out against her pale face, and her red eyes that wore obvious marks of crying. Not until Dr Mike had walked up to him, and he felt her pull him into a motherly embrace, had he managed to let out a relieved breath. Sensing her small but warm body against his own, and feeling the familiar scent of her hair just below his nose, he for the first time since receiving his brother's message, allowed himself to let go. Feeling a huge amount of tension leave his body, he couldn't help but to let a few lonely tears slowly run down his cheeks.

Matthew informed them about the police officer, who was waiting to take her statement down stairs, and Michaela didn't know how to react. With a strong mix of insecurity and awkwardness, Michaela sought Sully's eyes for support, eventually she said, "I'm not sure Matthew – I…" Her eyes nervously flicked between her husband and son. "Listen Dr Mike," Matthew put a calming hand on her upper arm, "I know that you aren't prepared for this, and I'm sorry for even asking you to do this. If you want me to, I will go down and ask him to leave." Seeing how nervous he had made Dr Mike, he felt terrible, and just wanted her to relax.

"No Matthew, I mean… I understand, but I'm just not sure if it is my decision to make," she met Matthew's questioning gaze, and realized that he had not completely understood what she had meant. "I feel like this is Colleen's decision," she quietly tried to explain. "But he hurt you as well! And pressing charges will mean keeping her safe!" Matthew argued. "I know Matthew, I know. Believe me; I want him punish for everything he has done to my little girl," new tears welled up in her already red eyes, "but I can't do it without her permission. I just can't."

"Michaela…" Both Matthew and Michaela jumped, as Sully's calm voice suddenly was heard. "It's kind of my fault the police are here," he paused, looking into his wife's questioning eyes. "I made a scene at the railway station, and Brian had to tell him in order to get me off," Sully confessed guiltily. "But he is a good man Michaela, and I really think that you ought to talk with him." Seeing that she was about to argue, he took a step closer, and used his hands to make body contact, willing her to understand. "Matthew is right Michaela; Andrew didn't just hurt Colleen. He beat you!" he paused forcing himself to calm down, but used his right hand to show that he wasn't done yet. "Choosing to tell the entire story is Colleen's choice, but to report what you witnessed and experienced that night, is yours."

Burying her face in her hands, Michaela desperately tried to sort out her inner turmoil. She felt Sully's warm hands reassuringly massage her upper arms, and she sensed both their eyes closely observing her, fearing that they had sent her over the edge. The only thing heard was Michaela's deep breathing. Suddenly she looked up, her jaw firmly set, and with determination written all over her face, her eyes sought Matthew's. "I will tell him about that night," she simply stated, making a nod to really prove her decision.

"I will be there with you," Matthew assured her, in that moment unable to recall a time he had felt more proud to be allowed to call the woman before him his mother. "I will be there too," Sully added, his eyes filled with love and adoration as he watched his brave heartsong. Her courage and beauty never ceased to amaze him, but much to his surprise, she shook her head as she turned to him. "No Sully, I will be fine with Matthew. I want you to stay with Colleen. Would you do that for me?" she asked, her eyes silently telling him how important this was for her. "She is resting, but ought to wake up at any minute, and she has been having bad dreams lately…" she rambled, but was cut off by Sully, who softly reached out and wiped out a remaining tear on her cheek. "I will sit with her," he assured, placing a loving kiss on her forehead. Giving her husband a grateful smile, she accepted Matthew's arm, and together the three of them left the room.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chap. 21**

Sully was standing in the hallway, watching Matthew try to support Michaela down the stairs. Seeing her stiff movements tore his heart, and he really didn't want to let her out of his sight. He wished with his whole being that it could be him, and not Matthew, who was assisting her at this very moment. However, he knew that she would be safe with Matthew, and that he needed to be strong for the entire family. This was not the time to be selfish, and in a room just down the hall, Colleen needed him now. Walking towards the door, he only wished that they were all home together at the homestead, were he could keep them safe. A soft chuckle rose in his throat, as he suddenly realized how a lonely working dog must feel like, when trying to gather up a bolting herd of cattle. Allowing his gaze to wander to the stairs one last time, were his heartsong had just disappeared, he softly knocked on Colleen's door and peeked in.

Curled up in the middle of the big bed, looking more like a frightened child; than a grown woman expecting a child of her own, was a sleeping Colleen. He couldn't see her face from where he was standing, but he smiled as he saw the way she subconsciously had crossed her arms over her belly as she slept, as if trying to protect the unborn life living inside of her. He had lost count of the number of nights that he had stayed awake, enjoying watching Michaela doing the same thing while she expected Katie. Seeing Colleen hold her arms like that, and knowing her caring spirit, gave him a faint hope that she, no matter how this child was created, would be able to love it.

Quietly he crept over the floor, towards a chair standing beside the bed. Sitting down, he for the first time clearly saw Colleen's face, and the sight almost choked him. More than half of her still almost childish face was aggressively bruised, and still swollen to the point that he suspected that she would have to be having trouble opening her right eye. He swallowed hard to keep his emotions in line, as he could only imagine how bad it must have been.

As he sat there, staring at the young woman, who he proudly considered his daughter, glimpses of the past rushed before him; her bright smile when he had finally asked for Michaela's hand, her radiant beauty on her own wedding day, and the pure joy in her face on her graduation only four years ago. It suddenly struck him Colleen truly held such a unique mix of his dear friend, Charlotte, and his beloved Michaela. Lovingly he reached out and softly stroked away a stray of hair that had fallen into her face. However he immediately regretted his actions, as the soft caresses caused Colleen to stir, and feeling terrified she threw herself backwards, in an attempt to break the physical contact. "No, no, please…" she mumbled, once again curling up on her side.

"Ssh, ssh Colleen. It's okay. I didn't mean to scare you." Sully softly whispered, wanting to sooth her, but not certain if he dared to touch her again. "Ma?" Colleen groggily fought to open her eyes, and to get her mind back together. "No Colleen, It's me, Sully," he smiled as he saw her eyes begin to focus on his face. "Sully?! What… How…?" Colleen began, dragging herself into a sitting position, trying to determine if her father was really there or if she was still asleep. "Yeah, I'm sorry that I spooked you. Didn't mean to," Sully sincerely apologized. A slightly embarrassed smile crept into her face. "No, I'm sorry. I…" she got quiet as her eyes wandered round the room. Puzzled, she looked back at Sully. "Where is Ma?"

"She's down stairs with Matthew," Sully hesitated, really not wanting to upset her, but also not wanting to lie, he quietly added: "talking with a police officer." He held his breath as he saw Colleen tense and worriedly tried to read the shifting emotions rushing over her face. "Police?" she finally managed to ask, needing Sully to confirm what she thought she had been hearing. "Yeah," he confirmed, but seeing Colleen's facial expression, he felt a strong need to defend his wife, "She really didn't want to talk to him without your permission, but I talked her into it."

Sitting there, waiting for Colleen's reaction, he silently cursed himself; Michaela had been right. Why had he not listened? The last thing he wanted to do was to cause a rupture between Colleen and Michaela. They really needed each other right now; Michaela's pain-filled eyes flashed before his eyes, and never before had he seen Colleen look so fragile. "She is only telling him about that night – the rest is up to you, if you want him to know," he offered, still not able to read her reaction.

Hearing his last words, Colleen turned her tear-filled eyes towards him. "He beat Ma! I'm so sorry! I never meant for that to happen!" she cried. Sensing a wave of relief wash over him, Sully reached out, and Colleen voluntary fell into his comforting embrace. Soothingly rocking her, he softly whispered: "I know Colleen, I know. But she is going to be fine, and it wasn't your fault. No one is blaming you. Remember that."

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Both Brian and the officer expectantly looked up as they heard the library door open. The officer got up on his feet. He didn't quite know what to expect, and he had to admit to himself that he was very curious. What kind of woman married a savage, and still managed to raise two well-educated gentlemen?

"William?!" Brian totally surprised, greeted his host, who had appeared in the doorway, nervously twisting his hands before him. "Is something wrong with Ma? Or Colleen?" Brian worriedly asked, instantly on his feet. "No, no son. That's not why I'm here," William hasily replied, giving both men an insecure smile. Letting out a relieved breath, Brian suddenly realized that he had forgotten his manners. "May I introduce Dr William Burke, and this is officer…?" embarrassed, he grew quiet as he realized that he didn't know the policeman's name. "Officer Ryan," the man said, reaching out his hand to greet the doctor.

"My wife informed me about your presence, and I just wanted to tell you that I'm more than willing to testify regarding both Dr Quinn and Dr Cook's injuries," William helpfully offered. "Dr Quinn and Dr Cook?" Officer Ryan looked completely dumb-founded as he tried to make sense of this new information, "There were more doctor's involved?" he asked, looking confused he glanced between Brian and Dr Burke.

Brian straightened his back, and prepared to fight for his family, which he was very proud of. "My mother, Dr Michaela Quinn, and my sister, Dr Colleen Cook," he explained, closely observing the man, tensely trying to determine if this new information would make a difference. Gaining no reaction at all, Brian followed Officer Ryan's gaze, which no longer seemed to be looking at William, but rather past him. Standing in the doorway, bravely meeting the man's surprised eyes, was his Ma.


	22. Chapter 22

Chap. 22

Officer Ryan found himself staring into the most unique eyes he had ever seen. The different colours, the depth; they were so extraordinary, that he wasn't he even able to put his own thoughts into words. Somewhere far away he heard young Cooper's voice, and knew that he was expected to answer, but felt unable to concentrate on anything but the woman in front of him. She wore quite a simple dress, which looked more comfortable than fancy, and some of her long brown hair had escaped from the loosely tied pony tail, but God, she was beautiful. Not even the nasty bruise on her jaw made her beauty fade. She was not pretty, as in a sweet young girl, but a stunningly beautiful mature woman; a true lady, and there was something very familiar about her. Embarrassed, Ryan realized that he must have been caught staring, but he could not help himself, as the woman gracefully walked towards him. She simply radiated feminine grace, but with an almost challenging intelligence.

Michaela felt awkward, under the man's intense gaze, and for a brief moment, she allowed herself the thought of turning around, and running back to the only place she really wished to be; in her husband's arms. However, feeling Matthew's supporting hand on her back, she reminded herself that she really had to do this. Swallowing hard, and taking a deep breath, she regained her focus. Determined not to fail her daughter; Michaela walked in to the room, and up to the staring man. Extending her right hand she said, "Dr Michaela Quinn,"

Michaela had almost given up hope of the man greeting her. However, he suddenly, almost too eagerly reached out and took her hand, finally finding his voice as he did so, "Officer Ryan, Mame." Embarrassed by his own behavior, his face turned into a pink shade, and he was just about to apologize when Dr Burke's voice startled him. "I, ehm, I… If you don't need me for now, I will just head back to my clinic," William nervously stated. Observing the way the police officer had virtually made a fool of himself, William had suddenly realized how obvious his own lustful behavior around Mike must have been. Embarrassed, he clumsily started to back out of the room, only to bump into Matthew, who was standing right behind him. Startled, he turned to face the unexpected obstacle.

Immediately recognizing the sharp-sighted eyes before him, he exclaimed, "Matthew!" he quickly corrected himself, "Ehee, Mr Cooper," Even as a very young man - a boy even, those eyes had been able to see straight through him. He clearly remembered the boy's unbridled dislike and hostility, when the young Matthew and his siblings, along with Mike had visited Boston for the first time, all those years ago. Mike had, during one of their strained conversations, told him that her eldest no longer lived in Colorado Springs, but worked as a lawyer in Denver. At the time, the thought of Matthew being a lawyer, and even for him to live in a bigger town, had felt very uncharacteristic. Now meeting him again only made that feeling stronger.

"Dr Burke," Matthew greeted him, politely stepping out of the doctor's way, who only once again mumbled that he would be in his clinic, and hastily disappeared out the door. Surprised, Matthew gave Brian a questioning gaze, but his younger brother only shrugged his shoulders in response, leaving the room in absolute silence.

The unexpected exit of Dr Burke had given Officer Ryan enough time to collect himself. Still holding Michaela's hand, he gave her an apologizing smile. "I'm honored to meet you Dr Quinn, and I sincerely apologize for my earlier behavior. It was just that I never expected…" realizing that his personal life didn't belong in this room, he immediately grew quiet. "You never expected a woman doctor?" Michaela asked in her usual challenging style, but giving the clearly embarrassed man a kind smile. The officer tried to explain, his face turning bright red, "Yes, I mean no… I just never thought that I would ever meet you. I wasn't even sure that you really existed"

Confused, Michaela eyed the man. "I'm sorry? Do I know you?" she asked, awkwardly pulling her hand from his tight grasp. Both her sons could easily tell how uncomfortable she was growing, and instantly moved closer, trying to shield and support her. Seeing her reaction, Officer Ryan regretfully realized what damage his rambling had done, and that even though exposing his personal business would be very unprofessional, telling the complete truth would be the only way to gain this woman's trust.

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Sully gave Colleen an encouraging smile, as she finally pulled away from his embrace. Sitting back against the pillows in her bed, she used the back of her hand to dry of the still remaining tears from her cheeks. "Thank you, I think I really needed that," she said with a hoarse voice, returning his smile. As always, Sully's presence made her feel peaceful. Deep in her heart she knew, that if there was one person that would never judge her, when the whole truth was out, it would be Sully. It wasn't that she didn't trust Dr Mike, or her brothers either for that matter. Or that she didn't think that they wouldn't be there for her. They would. Of that she was certain, but that was just the problem. She knew that Sully would be the only one strong enough to respect her wishes and let her go.


	23. Chapter 23

Chap 23

Taking a deep breath, Officer Ryan offered the woman in front of him a calming smile. "No, you don't know me. I wanted to do something special for my beloved sister, on her birthday a few years back, and brought her to a gallery that at that time had an exhibition, honoring the memory of the great photographer Daniel Watkins." A dark cloud seemed to pass over his eyes while mentioning his sister. "Before he died, he had apparently helped one of his closest friends put together some of his pictures, which had had a special meaning to him, and amongst them there were several of you," he explained. "He had written explanations and backgrounds, to all his pictures, but the text under your photos was different." Seeing the woman's confused expression, he tried to explain. "Not only did it tell who you were, and about your remarkable career in the west, but also some kind of poem about a healing angel's unique eyes, looking straight into one's soul. I don't remember it completely, but there were some lines that seemed to speak straight into my heart; whiskey and truth should both be served straight up, and the truth is that those eyes of the angel only held love for another man. He had ended the text explaining that every picture has a heart, but that you were the heart of his entire career."

"Mr Watkins wrote that?" Michaela whispered her eyes once again filled with tears, as she thought back to the very charming gentle man, who she had been forced to give the most devastating diagnosis; that he was not only going to die, but also go blind. "Yes Mame," he confirmed, but softly shook his head. "To me you almost sounded like a dying man's fantasy, but my sister was not only captured, but also convinced about your existence. She even went back and saw the exhibition again. I think you gave her hope," he silently added, his eyes reflected a deep pain.

"Where is your sister now?" Michaela carefully asked. "She's dead," Ryan stated, making a grimace, and locking his eyes on something, on the now almost empty street outside the window. Seeing the man's obvious pain, Michaela immediately forgot her doubts, and shifted into her normal caring and healing self. Softly, she reached out and took his cold hands into her own.

Feeling the warmth of her compassionate touch, Officer Ryan was brought back into the room, and as his eyes once again met hers, he truly understood the truth of the photographer's words. Once again lost in their depths, he could not help but to open his heart. "Her name was Sarah, and she had dreams you know. As far as I can remember, she always fought to make the world a better place. She wasn't just pretty; she was smart, funny and caring, and we were all very proud of her," he paused in order to wipe away an embarrassing tear, which threatened to fall from the corner of his eye. "Anyway," he continued, "she married this high up politician, who promised her heaven and earth, but once they got married everything changed. She never wanted to tell me, but I know he beat her." In wrath, he pulled away from Michaela's comforting touch, and wandered over to the big window. Remaining there, unseeingly staring out through the glass, and with his back turned, as a shield against the silent group of people, he managed to continue. "He wanted to kill her spirit, to make her be someone she wasn't, but it is not possible to break something so pure. I got the message about her death, just a week after we had been to the gallery. They said she had fallen down the stairs," he snorted, "I know he killed her. They all know, but they are letting him get away with it."

Michaela felt Matthew try to stop her, but shook his protective hand off, and slowly walked up to the man. Silently, she just stood there beside him, also looking out the window, before ever so carefully taking his hand in her own. Sensing him move, she turned to meet his tear-stained face. "He got away with it you know. My sister is dead, and he was allowed to just remarry and get on with his life. Everyone has just seemed to forget about her, even her own children were too young to remember…" he whispered.

With her heart truly bleeding with the man, she found herself lacking of words. Gently she pulled the much taller man into a motherly embrace, and silently let her own tears fall, as he cried against her shoulder.

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"What is it Colleen?" Sully asked, closely observing the young woman's troubled face. "You know you can tell me, right?" He could clearly see that she had something on her mind, and wanted her to know that he was willing to listen, but he also didn't want to push. He figured that she would tell him as soon as she was ready.

Meeting his honest eyes, she took a deep breath to prepare herself for what was to come. "What did Ma tell you?" she asked, suddenly feeling unable to keep the eye contact, she focused on the beautiful pattern carved in the solid bedpost. She had spent a lot of time studying that particular post, and it somehow reminded her of a field filled with wild flowers.

"She told me about Andrew, about what he did," he paused, worriedly studying her absent expression, "and about that man – what he did," he took a deep breath before carefully adding: "and about the baby." He waited patiently for a while, but as he gained no reaction, he continued. "She also told me that you don't want to come home."

Touched by the obvious sadness in his voice when he had said the last statement, Colleen looked up. "It's not that easy," she defended. "It's not about what I want to do, it's about what's right." Sully eyed her thoughtfully, trying to understand the hidden meaning of her words. "You want this baby?" he finally asked, his voice nothing but calm and caring. "What do you mean?" Colleen looked at him, as if she had never considered that question before. "How are you feeling about it?" Sully simply clarified. "I..." First Colleen didn't know how to even try to respond, but seeing the genuine love in Sully's eyes, gave her the courage to at least give it a thought. How did she feel about the baby? The baby. Her baby. She swallowed a sob, and hesitatingly put her right hand over her stomach. "I always wanted a child," she started, but grew quiet and slowly removed her hand, "but I never imagined this…" She fell into a thoughtful silence, and Sully waited patiently. "When I first realized, or even suspected it, all I could think of was how to hide it. I never allowed myself to really consider it."

"You never told Andrew?" Sully asked. Hearing no traces of accusation in his low voice, Colleen calmly shook her head. "I knew I had to leave before I was starting to show, but I just didn't know where to go…" Her eyes drifted up towards the grey sky outside the window. "You know now?" Sully asked. "Not yet, but I will just buy a ticket, and when I find a place to settle down, I promise to let you know," she explained, determined not to let Sully, or anyone else, talk her out of her decision. "You realize what that would do to Michaela, to the family?" Sully gently asked, his voice still holding no signs of condemnation, but just pure worry. Quietly, he sat completely still, watching Colleen battle with her emotions.

"You know that I don't wish to hurt Ma," Colleen whispered, not able to look at Sully. "Yeah, I know," Sully gently nodded, "and you know that I will always respect your wishes, right? But I got to be sure that this is really what you want…" His concerned eyes observed her jaw tense, and the mask, that she had fought so hard to keep up, starting to tear. "What I want?!" she suddenly snapped. "What I want is for any of this never had happen!"

Relieved to see her finally let out some of the anger, which she obviously had gathered up inside her, he just calmly told her that it was alright, that her anger was good. "Alright?!" she almost screamed. "Who are you to say it is alright?! My life is ruined, Andrew's life is ruined! There is a baby that no one wants, and it could be dead for all I know – or damaged for life! I'm a disgrace for the family, and I almost got Ma killed…" Her anger suddenly shifted into violent tears, and Sully once again pulled her against his chest. "It's okay Colleen, just let it all out…" he softly whispered in her ear.

"I'm so sorry, I never meant to take it all out on you," Colleen regretfully whispered, as she fell against Sully's strong shoulder, feeling totally exhausted. "It's okay Colleen," he softly reassured, "isn't that what fathers are for?" he heartily joked. Tilting her head up towards his, Colleen gave him a tired, but loving smile. "You know Colleen, we all got scars from life, but the question is if we choose to wear them, or we let them wear us," Sully softly added.

Settling back against his shoulder, Colleen almost fell asleep, and they both sat together in a content silence. Feeling Colleen's body grow completely relaxed against his own, Sully gently asked: "You awake?" "Mmmm," Colleen almost regretfully confirmed, shifting slightly against his arm. "I got one more thing I need to ask you," he hesitatingly started, really not wanting to disturb her new found peace, but having a strong feeling that she still had something she needed to tell him. "Why don't you want to come home? At least for a while?"

Hearing the question, that she had dreaded so long, Colleen slowly sat back up, preparing herself for what she knew had to come. "This is my life, and my responsibility," she paused as if searching for the right words. "I know Ma wants me to come home – at least she thinks that now… but it wouldn't be fair – especially not to her."

"I'm sorry, you lost me there. How would you coming home not be fair to Michaela? She loves you, she will love this child, and there is nothing she would want more than for you to come home." Sully argued, totally confused by her reasons. "I know Sully! But she doesn't even know… this child will not be accepted; not only will it be a bastard child – it will have it written all over it…" she paused and closed her eyes, before finally revealing the secret that she had kept so long. "This child won't be white."


	24. Chapter 24

Chap 24

"You honestly think that that would matter to me?!" Both Sully and Colleen jumped, hearing the unexpected sound of Michaela's voice. They had both been too occupied, to notice the rest of the family showing up in the doorway, and as they abruptly turned, the only one they really saw was Michaela. The deep hurt in her eyes, was cutting like a knife into their hearts, and made Matthew's and Brian's shocked expressions fade from their visions.

"Ma?!" Colleen managed to choke out, her face turning white as a sheet. "I didn't mean it like that!" she regretfully expressed, pleadingly looking from Michaela to Sully. When Michaela remained silent, Sully calmly reached out, and gave Colleen's hand a supportive squeeze, before standing up and moving towards the door. Even though he was certain that this was something that both Colleen and Michaela really needed to work through alone, he felt truly remorseful over the way it had been brought up. Walking past Michaela he stopped, and put a loving hand on her shoulder, waiting for her to meet his eyes. As she finally did, his blue eyes communicated love and reassurance, willing her the strength to listen to what their daughter had to say. It pained him to see the strong hurt in her already tired face, but he knew that he had to leave them to clear the air. Continuing out the door, he discreetly signalled for Matthew and Brian to join him.

The door closed behind the men, which left the room in absolute silence. "Ma, please," Colleen pleaded, reaching out a shaky hand towards Michaela. Hesitating, but unable to deny her daughter's pleading eyes, Michaela walked over and took the outstretched hand. Colleen started, feeling relieved to have at least been given a chance to explain "Ma listen to me; I know that you would never deny either me, or this baby, that's just not who you are. But don't you see; that's just it. You have been fighting for acceptance your entire life – you don't deserve this!" Saying the last as she gestured towards herself, and her belly. Seeing that Michaela was about to object, Colleen hurried to continue. "No Ma! You finally have what you always dreamed about, and I'm not going to let you lose it because of me."

Terrified, Michaela stared at her daughter; she was just simply incredulous at what Colleen had said. "You refuse to come home because of me? You believe that I would consider the hospital more important than you? Than my grandchild?" she asked, tears glistening in her big eyes. Colleen opened her mouth, but Michaela strongly shook her head. "I'm not done yet," she simply stated. "You asked me to listen to you – well I can't! I'm your mother, and I need you to listen to me!" Michaela broke their hand-connection, but stiffly sat down on the edge of the bed. "I would lie if I claimed that building the hospital wasn't a dream coming true, and that I haven't been working hard and long hours to achieve it, but I didn't do it only for me! I did it for Katie, Matthew and Brian, but most of all I did it for you!" Michaela took a deep breath to calm herself. "You are my daughter Colleen, and I will never forget that day when you turned your beautiful, trusting, eyes towards me and told me for the first time, that you wanted to become a doctor. I was so tired at that moment, but your words, they warmed my entire soul, and I have carried them in my heart ever since. I want you to know that I have treasured every moment working with you, and to be given the opportunity to do that again is my biggest dream – not running a hospital."

Unable to speak, Colleen just sat there staring at her mother – her mentor, with tears running down her cheeks. "I love you Colleen and that baby could come out green for all I care; it's my grandchild, and I will love it no matter what." After softly wiping away some of Colleen's tears, Michaela took both of her daughter's hands, and spoke from the heart once again, "I'm not saying it's going to be easy, that people can't be cruel, but I'm confident that we can face this together. Please Colleen, I'm begging you to come home; where people know you and care about you. Allow us to be a family. If not for you, do it for your baby... for me?" Michaela begged, holding her breath, willing Colleen to understand.

"Oh Ma... I love you so much... and I'm sorry for ever making you doubt that..." Colleen finally managed to choke out between her sobs. "Does that mean you're coming home?" Michaela carefully asked, with a faint hope glimmering in her tear-filled eyes. Colleen merely managed to nod, but a relived smile shone through her tears. It felt like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and that she was finally able to breathe easy. Laughing through her own tears as well, Michaela directed her gaze upwards and mumbled a silent "thank you", before pulling her beloved daughter into a loving embrace.

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Sully had hardly heard the door close behind them, when he felt Matthew grab his shoulder, forcing him around to face him. "Colleen is pregnant?!" he demanded, shock written all over his face. "Yeah," Sully confirmed with a calm nod. "You knew about this?!" Matthew hissed, abruptly turning to confront his brother, who stood frozen with his back pressed against the door. Silently, Brian just shook his head, looking totally confused. "She's having a baby and it isn't Andrew's?!" Matthew almost shouted at Sully. Nothing of this made any sense to him; he just couldn't think.

Uneasily, Sully glanced down the luckily empty hallway, before reaching out and grabbing Matthew's upper arm in an attempt to calm him down. "Look Son, I just found out okay? I will tell you what I know, but this," gesturing towards their surroundings, "isn't the place..."

Sully and Matthew stood staring at each other, when Brian suddenly walked right past them. "Come on," he simple stated, continuing towards his room down the hall.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chap 25**

Hearing the urgency in his friend's voice as he shouted "Free!" made Bill almost drop the heavy cargo-box, which had just been unloaded from the ship. "There is a white fella asking for you again," the man managed to say between his heavy breaths, as he finally reached his side. "This guy even knows your name, and the chief is bringing him over!" he continued, nervously glancing over his shoulder. Hearing his friend's warning, Bill felt a chill sweep over him, and his eyes nervously followed the other man's gaze. "This man?" he repeated. "It's not the doctor?" he asked, his eyes still looking towards the direction where his boss, and his visitor, most likely would turn up from. "No!" the smaller man eagerly shook his head. "This fella is much bigger, and he looks kind a…" he grew silent trying to find the right word to describe the strange man he had seen just minutes before "…kind a wild"

Bill nervously eyed his friend, trying to decide what to do. He had waited for this moment; not that he regretted what he had done, but there was no way that a black man like himself, would get away with laying a hand on a white man, no matter what the circumstances, and this white man even happened to be a doctor. He was aware that the doctor had been in the area a few days ago, asking questions about Dr Mike, her daughter, and himself. However, Bill's name had never been mentioned. Nevertheless being as impressively large as he was, Bill knew that it would only be a matter of time before someone willingly, or accidentally, gave away his identity. Should he run? Run where? He had no money, and if the man knew his name, he would surely know where to find his family. No, there was nowhere to run… Should he deny it? Would it help? Would it cause a scene? He just couldn't afford to lose this job! He was brought back to reality by his friend, who almost shook him by his shoulders. "What will you do Free?" the man worriedly asked. "I just don't know…" Bill replied, feeling totally helpless. "But will you promise me one thing?!" he begged his friend. "Anything!" the man replied without hesitation. "You got to make sure that Pete doesn't interfere, no matter what!" he said, glancing in the direction of his oldest son, who was busy shoveling sand. "Tell him that I trust him with our family… Tell him I love him." Seeing his friend's panicked gaze, he added a very emotional "Please…"

"Free!!!" Both men jumped hearing their boss sharp voice. "A visitor for you, you can have ten," the boss shouted, his voice filled with disapproval. Bill gave his friend a last pleading glance, and waited until he received a small nod. Only after his friend quickly started to make his way towards Pete, who had stopped working, and was curiously looking up after hearing the boss call his father's name, Bill turned his attention towards his destiny.

Bill just stood there staring at the man. He didn't know what to make of him. He had never seen anyone like that, and his friend's description as wild suddenly made perfect sense, but as the man started to move, he did so falteringly, with almost apologetic manner. "Bill Free?" the stranger gently asked.

Receiving no reply, Sully stopped a few meters before the man, questioningly eyeing him. If this was the right Bill Free, Brian had definitively not exaggerated in his description; this was by far the biggest person Sully had ever seen, he was simply enormous. Standing before him, Sully suddenly realized how small Andrew must have felt facing a giant like this, and he felt a satisfying warmth spreading from his heart.

"Name's Sully Sir," he started, "and I'm sorry – didn't mean to put you in trouble with your boss," he apologized, making a small gesture after the grumpy looking man, who had turned around and walked away, as soon as he had pointed out his employee and shouted his orders. The boss's superior behavior, had strongly reminded Sully about a much rougher looking Preston. The last thing Sully wanted was to cause trouble for this man, who had saved his loved ones. Still receiving no reply, Sully started to feel quite unsure, but he gave it a last try. "Look, I'm not here to cause trouble, I just wanted to thank the man who saved my family," he offered. Seeing a flash of surprise in the huge man's eyes, Sully made one last attempt: "Are you the Bill Free who saved my wife and daughter? Brian thought I might find you here…"

Bill still didn't know what to make of his visitor. Dr Mike's husband? He once again suspiciously eyed the rugged looking man. Was this a trap? He just couldn't picture a lady like Dr Mike with a man like this! But then again, there was something genuine and trusting about this man. He wasn't like any other white man he had ever met, and there was absolutely no superiority in his manner when it came to facing a black man as himself.

"I must have been mistaken, sorry to disturb you," Sully apologized and turned to leave. "Wait!" the big man suddenly moved forward, and grabbed Sully's shoulder. "You're Dr Mike's husband?" he asked, doubt still written in his face. Sully couldn't help but smile, as he nodded to confirm. Even after all these years of marriage to Michaela, he often received this reaction around new people. "Yeah I'm her husband," he smiled, "name's Sully," he repeated, and warmly offered his right hand. "Bill Free," the man finally admitted, accepting the hand.

"I'm awfully sorry about my behavior Mr Quinn, I just couldn't afford to get in trouble," Bill apologized. "Hey no worries, as I said: I'm sorry that I caused trouble for you with your boss! Both Michaela and Brian told me about what you did, and I just wanted to thank you, to shake your hand. If there is anything I can do for you, anything at all, you just name it; I owe you," Sully said, squeezing the man's hand, "but please call me Sully, only my wife is named Quinn," he playfully added shrugging his shoulders.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Hey Sis," Matthew greeted his younger sister, attempting to sound cheerful, as he nervously entered her bedroom. "Matthew," she replied, somewhat awkwardly putting down the book she had been reading, as he stiffly bent down and kissed her un-bruised cheek. She gestured for him to sit down, and he uneasily obeyed. Not really knowing how to say what he held in his heart, he remained silent.

The bright light from the window offered no mercy, as it lightened her bruised face, and Matthew didn't really know where to look. It pained him to see her like this! No woman deserved to be abused like this; especially not his little sister! He felt the anger boil up inside again, as he thought of what Sully had told him last night. Suddenly feeling very nervous again, he glanced down at her well covered stomach. He just couldn't believe there was a baby in there; a living evidence of an act so horrible, that it even didn't ought to be a word for it. It simply shouldn't exist.

"Dr Mike insisted on going to see a patient," he said, even though he knew that their ma would never have left without informing his sister about her whereabouts; he just couldn't stand the silence. "Always the doctor," he added in an attempt to keep the conversation light. Colleen offered him a strained smile. "Little Anthony Free," she confirmed, "He's a sweet boy."

Sensing Matthew's strong uneasiness made Colleen feel very uncomfortable. She loved her brother, but she knew him, and she was well aware of how hard it would be for him to deal with what had happened. They had seen each other during dinner the previous night, but it had been a polite affair, together with the Burkes. Dr Mike had then noticed Colleen's exhaustion, and insisted for her to turn in. And to be honest; the suggestion had actually relived her, not only because of how much the day's events had taken out of her, or even because of how tired she had been after finally being allowed to join the other's in the dining-room the first time, but also because it meant that she didn't have to deal with Matthew straight away. She knew that Sully had informed him about her situation, but she felt ashamed, and didn't really want to face him.

Colleen was brought out of her thoughts, when she heard Matthew reply to her earlier statement by saying, "I know, and I know why it's extra important to her," Matthew quietly admitted, feeling unable to keep up his cheery-mask. "I only wish she would rest… at least she accepted Brian and Sully going with her," he mumbled, almost wishing he had gone as well.

"I feel so bad!" Colleen suddenly cried out, breaking the heavy silence. Confused, Matthew instantly rose to his feet, and asked in panic, "You want me to get Dr Burke?". Colleen tried to explain "No! Not like that. It's just that Ma is in pain because of me!" Matthew stared at her, still trying to comprehend if she was in physical pain or not. "You don't understand - she didn't even hesitate! I thought she was going to die!" she rambled. "She nearly died protecting me!!! My weakness almost got her killed…" she added whispering, tears welling up in her remorseful eyes.

"Hey!" Matthew reached out and grabbed her shoulders. "It's okay Colleen; Ma is going to be fine! And it wasn't your fault! None of it was your fault!!!" he strongly stated, willing her to let go of the suffocating guilt. "She wouldn't even have been there if it weren't for me!" Colleen cried, not wanting to listen to her brother.

"Stop it Colleen! Dr Mike didn't do anything that she didn't want too! She did it because she loves you! That's just who she is, and you know it!" Matthew kept his firm grip around her shoulders, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I do know how you feel; I put her in danger – remember?! And that WAS because of my stupidity… Do you even realize how close she came to being killed in that cave in?!" He closed his eyes, reliving the strong memories. "I argued with her, I was mean! But she still came…" He swallowed hard, feeling that he at last had her attention, seeking the strength to continue. "Hearing the sound of her voice in there… I don't even think hearing an angel sing could have sounded more beautiful to me in that moment…" his voice cracked with emotions, and he forced himself to open his eyes and allow her access to his naked soul.

Colleen was unable to respond, and for a moment they just sat there; brother and sister deeply connected. "And she did it for Brian too; she just threw herself, head first into the wilderness," he continued with a low voice. "And for Katie…" he paused, "you never saw her, and I weren't there for her much either, but when I saw her that one time, while she thought that she had lost Katie…" he swallowed, his voice barely audible while fighting with the memory. "…it was like she was dead… She was standing before me, but she was freaking dead."

Colleen's tears were running freely, as she listened to her brother's words. Of course she knew about the kidnapping of her little sister a few years back, about her being presumed dead, but no one really talked about it. Neither Matthew nor herself had been there, and afterwards they had never been truly let in about it. It had simply been too painful. "Once when Jake had had too much to drink he told me some of what really happened in Mexico; she was sentenced to death you know, and she stood there, tied to a pole, facing her death-squad with a straight back, refusing to even wear the blindfold," he continued, his voice hollow as he fought with his inner demons. "That's Dr Mike, you know… She would give her life for us, for Sully… Always putting herself last." He made a sound that could have been a laugh, before he softly added: "That's Ma…"


	26. Chapter 26

_I would like to dedicate this chapter to one of the most unselfish and beautiful souls ever to walk on this earth; my Grandma. By the spirit of her memory, I would like to share a poem that she had left for us to find after her death. I believe that she must have chosen it when she was first diagnosed with senile dementia. I do not know who the writer is, or even the name of this poem, but I have done my best to translate the words that have come to mean so much for my family and me, in the time of grief. _

_The day I'm walking__  
never to return  
I want you to remember me  
just as I was  
It is only getting worse  
my loved ones, if you cry  
Because nothing can change  
the fate we have  
The day that you stand here  
and might me miss  
I want you to live  
with spirit  
My loved ones, my dear ones  
I want you to wake  
and live the days, the time  
that you got left_

**Chap 26**

Everyone turned to look at Colleen as she exclaimed, "I'm ready to go now". She had absentmindedly been pushing the food around her plate, not showing any interest in participating in the forced conversation around the Burke's dinner-table. The tension had lain heavy in the house ever since Dr Burke had discovered Sully in his hallway the day before. Even though the women, and Cooper brothers, did their best to keep a conversation going, the tension was unable to deny.

"What Honey?" Michaela worriedly asked, instantly afraid that Colleen would have changed her mind about returning to Colorado Springs. "I'm ready to go home," Colleen clarified, suddenly wanting nothing more than to just forget about everything and go home. Ever since Matthew had haltingly given her Andrew's letter, her brain had been working intensively. She felt sick. The intensity in the letter, his obvious pain and anguish tore her heart, and refused to leave her mind. What was he going to do? Where was he? Every time she closed her eyes she saw him, laying in a pool of blood, his dead eyes staring at her, reminding her that all of this was her fault, that her selfishness she had destroyed his life. She swallowed hard and put on a brave face. If she left, Andrew might have a chance.

"Are you sure that you are really up to traveling?" Michaela doubtfully asked, reaching out and protectively taking her daughter's hand. Colleen merely nodded. "Yes, I will be fine. I just want to go home."

"You are most welcome to stay longer," Mollie carefully offered, not sure if it would be correct to interfere, but worried that it was her husband's embarrassing behavior that caused the younger woman to feel unwelcome. "You have been wonderful guests, and we would love to have you here for a few more days," she said and gave Colleen and Dr Mike an almost shy smile. It was weird; a few days earlier she couldn't wait to get that woman doctor out of her house, but now, even though her husband's obvious feelings towards Mike still hurt her, she really didn't want her newfound friend to leave. Dr Mike and her children had filled a void that she hadn't even known existed, and for the first time the big empty house felt like a home.

Hearing the sincerity, and almost pleading tone in Mollie's offer, Michaela hesitated. Awkwardly she turned to meet Sully's gaze; his words from their ride back from the Free family the very same afternoon still fresh in her mind. By claiming that he needed to do an errand for the Boston Globe on the way back, Brian had given his parents a much needed time alone. While holding Michaela close to his beating heart, Sully had not only told her how grateful he was to once again be given the opportunity to do so, but he had also confessed his unease about staying under William's roof. Totally understanding her husband's feelings, and feeling nothing except discomfiture about the situation herself, Michaela had promised him that they would move to a hotel, until Colleen would be strong enough to travel home. She had sealed her promise to make the arrangement with a sweet kiss, and even though the bumpy carriage ride was still very uncomfortable for her, she had wished the moment would never end.

Seeing in her always so considerate husband's eyes, that he as well had picked up on the other woman's anxiety, reminded her of how lucky she was to have such a remarkable man in her life. Michaela had been well aware of her husband's uneasiness regarding their living arrangement, even before he had voiced it. She knew that the only reason that Matthew and he had accepted Mollie's offer to stay in the house, was because they wanted to be nearby. Her heart almost burst with love as she thought of the sight she had woken up to this morning; Sully's sleeping figure curled up in the uncomfortable chair next to her bed. He must have crept in during the night. A slight blush had covered her face, as she realized that he must have sat there just watching her sleep, judging by his position. Meeting his deep eyes now, she instantly felt her cheeks growing warm again. Even after many years of marriage, it still only took a look, a small gesture, or a light touch from her husband, to light sparkles in her body. Blushing like a young schoolgirl, she embarrassedly forced herself to focus on Mollie, praying that no one would notice her heated face and the real reason for it.

"I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for everything that you have done for us – for letting us stay here even after we burst in the middle of the night," Michaela sincerely started, lovingly squeezing Colleen's hand, giving Mollie a grateful smile, but failing to gain any kind of contact with William, who absentmindedly sat staring down at his plate. The man didn't even seem aware of the conversation that was taking place around his table. Looking back at Mollie, she saw that she had also been observing her husband. "You kept us safe here, but we have been living on your hospitality for long enough now," she paused and gave Mollie a meaningful gaze. "And since Andrew has left town, there really is no reason for us not to stay in a hotel," she continued, but worriedly turned to face Colleen as she felt her hand tense at the mention of her husband. "Especially since there are so many of us now…" Michaela almost absently added, more focused on her daughter than to sound convincing at the time.

"Nonsense! There is no need for you to stay at a hotel! We have got plenty of room, and you are more than welcome to stay. All of you!" Mollie determinedly answered. "Right William?!" she added sharply, her demanding attitude towards her husband even surprising herself.

Noticing the drastically changed tone in his wife's normally very submissive voice, William slowly began to wake from his trance. Almost disoriented he looked up, and met his wife's green eyes. Eyes that he didn't recognized. Was this just a dream? All of it? Wouldn't it be absurd to believe that he would be sitting here with Mike – his Mike, that unpleasant Mr Sully and a totally unrecognizable Mollie? No, this had to be a dream. A bad dream. Calmly, he closed his eyes again, fully expecting to wake up soon. "RIGHT WILLIAM?!!" Mollie's high voice brought him right back to reality. Opening his eyes he did not only realize that it wasn't a dream, but also that everyone around the table was staring at him.

Michaela worriedly asked "Are you alright William?!" However, she was already on her feet and stiffly rounding the table in order to examine him. "Ehhh…" William was lost for words, as he felt Mike's soft hand against his flushed forehead. Precious memories of that wonderful spontaneous hug she had once given him flooded his mind. The feeling of her dancing in his arms gracefully following his every move was the next memory that assailed him. Finally there was the unforgettable sensation of her ever such sweet lips touching his, after the lecture. Oh, the lecture! Never would he forget the way her eyes had sparkled that day; not because of the unworthy Sully-character, not even because of her children, but because of him! Only William Burke had been able to put such a sparkle in those magnificent eyes of hers.

"You feel a bit warm. How are you feeling?" he heard her ask, but once again failed to answer as he was overwhelmed by the marvelous feeling of her body suddenly so close to his own. Deeply worried by her colleague's obvious inability to communicate, Michaela feared he might have suffered some kind of cerebral hemorrhage, and wanting to see his face she leaned over his shoulder. Unable to avoid meeting the eyes that had visited his dreams for so long, William felt his face turn into an even brighter shade of red. Suddenly very aware of all the other eyes closely observing him, and how easily they seemed to read the effect that Mike's closeness had on his body, he desperately tried to cover his face with his hands. Highly embarrassed he managed to choke out that he was alright.

Knowing that his wife's concerns were nothing but medical, and clearly only directed to someone that she considered a friend; Sully could not help but to feel a bit sorry for the misinterpreting man. Slowly he rose, and walked over to his wife. Putting a reassuring hand on her back, he easily guided her to take a step away from William. "He will be fine Michaela, just give him some space to cool down," he gently whispered in her ear, giving her a meaningful glance. Seeing the familiar line between her eyebrows, he really had to try hard not to smile at the situation. His beloved Michaela was the only one in the room unable to see the reason of William's discomfort, still not realizing the effect that she always had on most men.

Just as he was about to lean forward to whisper a further explanation in her ear, he saw that she had finally got the full meaning of his words. Almost more flushed than William, Michaela embarrassedly glanced between William's quiet back, Mollie's resolute face, and remorsefully back at her husband. Giving his adorable Michaela a reassuring smile, he only gave her a quick kiss on her cheek and put a soft hand on the small of her back, walked her back to her place and helped her to sit back down.

Still feeling the heat burn in her face, Michaela awkwardly looked up and met Mollie's eyes, but found them surprisingly calm. Michaela felt a huge wave of relief as she saw no anger, but pure sadness and shared embarrassment. As the women silently communicated their apologies and understandings, Michaela felt Matthew's supporting hand on her own under the table.

"I… I'm sorry…" William quietly mumbled, staring down at the nicely set table. "Yes well," Mollie started, doing her best to break the heavy silence, "I was just telling our guests how much we enjoy having them here, and how much we would like them to stay," she once again demanded, challenging holding her husband's shame-filled eyes. "Ehh… yes of course, we would like you to stay here with us," William hesitatingly mumbled, fighting hard to regain his face.

"Thank you," Michaela didn't really know where to look as she addressed William, "but we will be fine at a hotel," she started, but was cut off by Colleen, who abruptly stood, almost turning over her chair in the process. "NO! I told you; I'm going home!" she shouted, staring at her shocked mother, before abruptly turning and almost knocking over a very surprised Beth, who had entered the room worried by the disturbance.

The door; she had to get to that door. Colleen heard her mother call her name, but she didn't stop. She couldn't stop. She just had to get out. She had to leave.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chap 27**

Cloud Dancing quietly walked, into the familiar, but yet ever changing town. The white man's strong desire to own never ceased to amaze him.

Stopping by the new hospital, a simple but pleasant looking building lying in the edge of town - built and designed by his brother, he had politely been informed that Dr Mike had left for Boston several days ago, and that they had no information on when to expect her back.

As he walked out, Cloud Dancing saw a Negro woman, carrying a young child. He suddenly came to think about a heated conversation Dr Mike, Sully and himself had many summers ago; in what almost felt like a different lifetime. They had been arguing about the arrival of the railroad, even now he could clearly hear his friend's voice, see her glowing eyes, as she tried to convince both Sully and himself about all the benefits the progress would bring; how it would allow her to provide more treatment for her patients, and how it might even mean the building of a new hospital. At that point they had both strongly questioned the value of a hospital, where the Indians wouldn't be welcome anyway. Even to this day Cloud Dancing remembered the hurt expression on her face as she had stated that they would be if she was in charge. He hadn't believed her that day – in her ambition yes, but not in her ability to change the world. He had been wrong.

As he lay beside his beloved SnowBird that night under their warm quilt, he had told her about the medicine woman's foolishness. She had looked him straight in his eyes and told him that it was her husband who was the foolish one. Having total faith in her new found sister, SnowBird had pointed out that Dr Mike not only had a good heart, but also the spirit of a warrior. Still this day, he could clearly picture his wife's face throughout this brief conversation; however it was the unmistakable challenge that lay in her slightly amused eyes as they locked gazes which stayed with him the most.

Passing the old clinic now, he realized that he had never told Dr Mike about the faith SnowBird had held for her in the matter, nor had he spoken the words of her huge feat. It was not that he didn't acknowledge her achievements, or that he wasn't happy about them, it was just that he had never actually voiced it. He knew that her point of view was much different from his own; that her heart was still heavy from believing that she had failed the Cheyenne. That the eventual massacre was on her shoulders, as she had stepped forward and helped the town win the rights to construct the railroad. He also knew that there had been many arguments between his brother and friend, with regards to the positive sides of the change. Glancing at the empty space, where the big green sign hung for so many years he promised himself that he would tell her. Not only about SnowBird, but also about her managing to create a place, in a world that had grown crazy, where everyone was equal. His people might not be here anymore, but she had managed to make a difference; she had changed the stars.

He also knew that it hadn't been easy, and that she had paid a high price. Yes, he would tell her, but first she needed to return safely. He had been sitting under the stars every night since the night that he had been told to go to his brother, waiting for the Spirits to talk to him, but they had stayed quiet. Filled with unease he made his way towards the Gazette, politely greeting some of the townsfolk as he walked. It had been many summers since the council had granted him free passage into the town, but even though he had been a regular guest ever since, his presence always gained reactions. Some people simply treated him as trash, others still looked scared, but he had also gained a few friends during the years, which he now greeted walking pass.

Dorothy felt the stress pump through her veins, wishing that the old press would stop destroying every paper she put in, or that it at least could have the decency to disappear out of her sight, but no; there it stood, covering most of the space in her small office, silently mocking her exhausted brain. Without thinking, she smeared ink in her face, while dejectedly wiping her forehead, doing her best not to think about the fact that most of the town folks were waiting for the paper by now.

Hearing the sound of the door, she didn't even bother to look up. "Loren Bray! I told you I would bring the first copies over as soon as I get this cruel, non-working, useless piece of junk to work!" she hurled out, not feeling up to the idea of feeling guilty for having the old man once again limping over in vain. Or to be completely honest; she knew she would scream if she heard him tell her to hurry up one more time. Gaining no response however, she regretfully realized her mistake, as the visitor obviously wasn't Loren after all. Painfully aware that her appearance most likely would not be very presentable, after spending the night struggling with the press, and extremely embarrassed by her own rudeness, she almost wished she could stay hidden behind the big machine, but as she finally did peek up, she immediately felt all the tension leave her body and a relived smile covered her face, as she recognized the warm, dark eyes, which studied her with visible amusement.

"Cloud Dancing?!" she expressed, quickly getting up on her feet, trying to straighten out her creased dress. "Haho" Cloud Dancing replied, smiling towards his friend. "You have a deadline?" he joked, teasingly raising his eyebrows. Recognizing the old lie that had become a regular joke between the two of them, Dorothy could not help but laugh. "Had one, yes," she admitted, "the Gazette ought to have been printed and out on the market hours ago, but this old friend doesn't seem to like me anymore," she confessed, making a dejected gesture towards the press, surprising herself with the sudden calmness she felt about the situation.

Even though the current sight slightly amused him; Dorothy was standing before him with the clearly forgotten ink smudge right across her forehead, and that she obviously had mistaken him for Loren, Cloud Dancing could not help but feel worried seeing how tired his friend looked. "Perhaps you ought to search for someone to assist you again?" he carefully asked, but quickly realized his mistake as he saw the dejectedness shift to anger. "I did not mean to put my hand in a wasps nest; I'm sorry," he immediately apologized. "You are doing a good and important work – telling the truth, but I worry that you work too hard. Among my people we share the burden," he tried to explain.

As always, Dorothy melted hearing truth of her friend's wise words, and she could not help but to laugh at her own reaction. "No, I'm sorry; I had no right to snap at you. I guess you are right; I am tired, and I do need help around here, but you know how hard it has been for me to find someone competent, who is willing to work for me but not take over," she apologized, feeling the little energy she had left leave her system, as she thought of all her unsuccessful attempt to hire a useful journalist to assist her. The Gazette had grown over the years, and since she felt content to continue her modest way of living, she had managed to save enough money to be able to hire the help that she so much needed, but it had proven to be a very difficult task. No one really seemed to take her seriously, and it always ended with them trying to take over, but the Gazette was her baby – her life, and even though it more often than not made her tired, she didn't feel ready to completely let it go. "No one seems to be willing to take orders from a woman," she sighed, "maybe I just ought to sell the whole thing," she sadly added.

"I do not think that your Spirit would be in balance if you did that," Could Dancing objected, thoughtfully shaking his head. "And the task of telling the truth is written in the stars for you my friend." He moved forward and put a comforting hand over hers that hand come to rest on the cold press. Feeling the warmth and strength radiate from his touch, giving much needed energy to her tired soul. "I do not wish for you to end, just for you to have one more try at finding someone to share your joys and burdens." Seeing that his point had been made, he gave her a slightly amused smile. "Even Dr Mike eventually found a colleague willing to work for her…"

"Young Dr Smith," Dorothy knowingly smiled, shaking her head. "Poor Michaela, she is the only one that hasn't realized the young man's true motives for taking the position in the first place," she paused and sent some amused thoughts towards the slightly clumsy young man, who was almost tragically obvious in his crush towards his elder colleague. "I guess that she has never been good at reading a man's interest in her – regardless of how obvious it might be," she continued, thinking how embarrassed – if not to say devastated, her friend would be, if she ever learned the true reason for the young doctor's interest. Dorothy knew that Michaela didn't find the newly graduated doctor the most competent one, but believing that his strong interest in everything she had to say was only because of his desire to become a better doctor, she had taken him under her wings, doing her best to educate him.

"At least Sully doesn't seem to be upset about the situation," she almost questioningly stated, while shaking her head. "He is certain of what's in her heart," Cloud Dancing agreed, grinning even wider. This woman's strong desire to know everything always amused him, knowing her kind heart. "Well, unfortunately I do not seem to have any young admirers willing to work for me, at least not any that I'm aware of," Dorothy hearty joked.

"Speaking of Dr Mike; has she sent any words?" Cloud Dancing asked, worriedly changing the subject. Slowly shaking her head, Dorothy's expression turned grave as well. "No… I mean yes…; Katie got a telegram from Brian several days ago, saying that both Michaela and Colleen were doing fine, and that they would be coming home soon, but nothing from Michaela herself," she said, worryingly studying Cloud Dancing's face. Sensing her unease, Cloud Dancing questioningly raised his eyebrows and said, "This is not good news?" Dorothy hastily replied, "Of course - or at least I thought it was, but then I saw Sully's reaction, and I guess it made me think…" however when she saw Cloud Dancing's expression, she realized that he was waiting for further explanations. "It sounded more like Michaela, trying to reassure Katie, by giving her something, but not reveal too much." Cloud Dancing thoroughly considered her words, before quietly nodding. "And Sully?" he asked. "He left for Boston the day after," she informed.

As if she had just remembered something, Dorothy tried to peek over his shoulder, looking as if she almost expected someone to stand there. "Sully said he had left Senator Morse and Mr Roberts in your care," she curiously stated. Once again Could Dancing could only smile at her obvious need to know it all. "Yes, so he did," he simply confirmed, but seeing that she was about to crawl out of her skin, he decided that he had teased her enough. "I left them safely at the Chateau, while I rode into town," he calmed her.

"I thought that you had left for a visit up north, how did you know that Sully needed you?" Dorothy eyed him closely, deep down already knowing the answer. "The Spirits gave me a vision," Cloud Dancing replied seriously, which confirmed her suspicion. "Do you know what happened? Are Michaela and Colleen okay?" she instantly asked, worry shinning in her eyes. "They did not tell. I just sensed danger, and I knew my brother had to leave," wishing he could tell her more; he made an apologetic motion with his arms. "I have been asking the Spirits for signs, but they have stayed quiet."

"Did the Spirits say anything about me having to leave as well?!" Both Cloud Dancing and Dorothy jumped at the unexpected sound of the very familiar voice; soft but demanding, and with very well pronounced words, making it sound very much like her mother's. "Katie!" Cloud Dancing's face broke up in a huge smile, even before he turned to face the girl. "Well did they?!" she persisted, crossing her arms before her chest. "You must stay where you are safe," the Cheyenne gently replied. "Did the Spirits tell you that?" Katie challenged her Cheyenne father, eyeing him doubtfully. "I'm an old man," Cloud Dancing playfully explained, "even though you might not believe me, I have learned some wisdom during my years; The Spirits do not need to tell me everything…" He smiled, and Katie willingly ran into his safe arms.

Smiling, Dorothy observed the loving embrace, but in her heart she could not help to feel a string of jealousy by the childish ease of their relationship. She knew that Cloud Dancing loved this child as a daughter, and that Katie had been brought up knowing him as her Cheyenne father, and with that she was fine. But sometimes watching the obvious nature of their relationship, it stung her heart. She envied Katie's pure and unconditional love, the way the girl didn't even seem aware of the world's disapproval. Many times she had tried to convince herself that the openness of the relationship was based on childish ignorance, but deep down she knew that it was much deeper than that; Katie's love and spirit was the result of her parent's pure souls. The sound of a terrible cough startled her out of her thoughts, and looking up she saw Loren bent over his cane in the doorway.

"Loren Bray! What on earth are you doing walking all the way here in your condition?!" she yelled, as she worryingly hurried to her dear friend's side to support him. "Aww Dorothy, you are not done yet?!" Loren whined, clearly embarrassed by being forced to accept Dorothy's help to a nearby chair. "Oh Loren, I wish that you could just listen to me and go and see the doctor," Dorothy begged, really worried by the old man's failing health. "Well Dr Mike isn't here, is she?" he stubbornly replied, brushing off Dorothy's lingering hand.

"Loren please, couldn't you just go and see Dr Smith, until Michaela gets back? I can't see what possible harm it could do," she tried to reason with the stubborn man. "I ain't letting no blockhead practice on me!" Loren yelled. "That boy's still wet behind his ears, and I ain't letting him touch me," he stated, bulging out his bottom lip. However seeing Dorothy's pleading eyes, he at least gave her a calming promise. "I will see Dr Mike as soon as she gets back, I promise," he said, giving Katie a playful wink, before once again being quieted by a massive coughing attack.

"Loren…" Dorothy started, but was cut short by grumpy old man. "Don't you go making this about me; are you going to give me any papers to sell or not?" he changed the subject, very clearly showing that he had heard enough.

Slightly irritated, Dorothy walked back to the old press, doing a dejected movement with her hands. "It simply doesn't work. It eats paper. Look…" she stated, loading another paper to prove her point. "What on earth?!" Her jaw dropped open, as she stood there staring at the perfectly printed paper coming out of the machine. "You did it Miss Dorothy!" Katie proudly beamed at the tired editor. "Yes, well…" Dorothy seemed to lack of words, but a confident smile slowly spread over her face. "Cloud Dancing, would you please walk Loren back to the store?" she eagerly asked, already putting more papers into the press. "I will have Katie run over with a couple of copies as soon as they are done," she informed relief clearly obvious in her voice.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chap 28**

Seeing the faint light at the clinic window, Michaela sped up even further, but was forced to stop by a strong hand on her shoulder. Feeling the adrenaline pump through her veins, Michaela spun round, extremely irritated, and turned to face Sully. "She's in there! Let me go!" she demanded through clenched teeth, whilst continually trying to break free.

Despite being only too aware of his wife's state of mind, Sully refused to give in. Without a word he raised his free hand to his lips, indicating for her to keep it down, while verbally communicating that he, under no circumstances, was about to let her rush down the street and throw herself into another possible dangerous situation. Giving her one last stern, and at the same time begging glance, he started backing away from her. He was pleading with everything he possessed that she stay behind him, where she would be safe. Finally seeing that his beautiful, but impatient wife had got the message, Sully grasped his tomahawk with one hand, and silently crept up to the worn building.

Carefully rising himself to peek through a window, he let of a sigh of relief, seeing Colleen's lonely form slowly moving around in the room. But as he turned to signal for Michaela, his breath got caught in his throat, realizing that she was standing right behind him. "Michaela!" he scolded, but at the same time couldn't help but smile. This was his Heartsong alright, never letting anybody tell her what to do. "I'm gonna have to walk backwards all the way next time?" he joked, moving away in order to give her free access to the window.

"Thank Goodness" Michaela mumbled at the sight of her unharmed daughter, instantly forgetting her previous anger. Walking Michaela to the entrance, Sully then stepped aside, knowing that his wife and daughter needed to sort things out themselves. However seeing Michaela hesitating in front of the closed door, he did his best to reassure her. "It will be alright Michaela. She loves you, you know…" he whispered in her ear, giving her affectionate kiss on her cheek, after walking up to stand behind her. Turning to face her husband, Michaela silently raised her hand to caress his newly shaven cheek. Thanking him with a crocked smile, she turned back to the door, took a deep breath, and quietly let herself in.

Colleen slowly moved around in the clinic – Grandma's clinic; Andrew's clinic; her clinic. Every so often she stopped, lightly letting her fingers trace the item before her; a chair, newly rolled bandages, her desk – everything that had been her life during the past few years. Looking around she could not help but smile; the familiar walls – very much in need of some new paint, the miss-matched furniture – collected during the years, and fixed up by patients wanting to give something in return. Every item held its own history, a memory easily forgotten. This was her clinic, her dream and creation.

Suddenly there was a presence – she felt it even before she heard the familiar, and oh so loved voice. "My old clinic also holds a history of its own," Colleen didn't have to turn to know her Ma had come to join her in the room. "The walls hold so many memories; fates, happiness and sorrows. It becomes a part of you; a part of those who have been given second chance; and a part of those who were meant to move on" Michaela's voice cracked with emotions, and her eyes never left her daughter's back as she spoke.

"The desk beside you," Michaela could not help but to reach out to the worn desk just outside Colleen's office,, as she heard her daughter's descriptive words, "It was Rebecca's desk." Colleen still didn't turn, she didn't have to, to know that her Ma withdraw her hand, almost as if she had been burned. "She sat there every day, smiling, helping everyone walking through that door to register, and making them all feel welcome." Colleen's voice was low and she spoke slowly, as if recalling every special moment. "She put her entire soul into this clinic you know, and even though her service was indispensable, I never got around to replacing her, I wasn't able too. Her desk has been standing there, unoccupied ever since she died…" the last sentence hardly more than a whisper. "Every day, I saw her, but I didn't see. What kind of doctor am I? I never even suspected anything. The cancer was eating her up on the inside, and I couldn't tell," Colleen confessed, her voice almost hollow, as if she once again was trying to suppress her inner chaos.

Gaining no response from her mother, Colleen was really starting to grow uneasy. But as she finally turned to face her, Colleen was surprised to see that Michaela's focus had shifted from herself back to the desk. Michaela had slowly rounded the desk, now standing behind it. Amazed, she watched her mother carefully pull out the solid chair, and sit down. With both her palms against the worn surface, she just sat there, a melancholic smile on her lips, as she silently took in the room.

Colleen felt a chill down her spine; she knew Rebecca and Michaela had always been close in heart, but she had never before noticed any outer resemblance between the youngest and oldest Quinn sisters – until this moment. Seeing the way her Ma sat, it was suddenly like seeing her dear aunt sitting there again.

"Rebecca and I once talked about how it seemed as if we were cast in different roles from the moment we were born. She told me that she sometimes didn't even know what she really felt, that she was too busy acting the way she was suppose to..." Michaela's voice sounded distant, and she seemed lost in thoughts. "I guess I was born the troublemaker," she paused and shrugged her shoulders, "Never meant too, I just always sought freedom. Marjorie played along with her designated role, most of her life, until she finally had enough and did a sudden and forceful revolt. I guess that she was basically fighting for the same sense of freedom as I" Michaela once again disappeared in a thoughtful silence. "Maureen and Claudette I don't think would ever consider doing anything unconventional. In their mind it was I who led Marjorie in her personal rebellion, and I'm sure they still blame me for her death." Colleen saw her mother take a deep breath, before making something close to a snort. "I'm certain they blame me for ultimately twisting up Mother and Rebecca's brains as well – as if anyone would have been able to make Mother do anything she didn't want to," Michaela's mouth curled up in small smile at the thought of her Mother, before the pain once more was obvious in her face. "Neither of them have even written to me since they moved away, and with Maureen in England and Claudette in Washington, I guess that is the way it is going to end." She turned to look directly at Colleen. "Promise me one thing?" she demanded. "Promise me that you will never give up on our family?"

Seeing all the pain, hurt and fears radiate from her Mother's eyes, Colleen could not stop her tears. Quickly she rounded the table and bent down to embrace her. "I'm sorry Ma! I'm sorry for yelling at you! I'm sorry for leaving! For the way I behaved..." Colleen cried. She had done it again; this was her Ma, one of the people that she loved the most, who would go through fire for her sake, and she had hurt her – she had hurt her again! "No I'm the one who ought to apologize Colleen; I didn't listen. I never listen! Gosh, I have got no right telling you how to run your life. Will you ever forgive me?" Michaela emotionally grabbed Colleen's hands, pleading for forgiveness with her eyes.

"Oh Ma," Colleen could not help but to smile through her tears, "I love you so much," was all she managed to say. "And Ma, nothing could ever break our family apart – there is too much love for that to happen, we are a family in heart; you taught us that."

Michaela felt her heart warm. "What can I have possible done to deserve a daughter like you?" Lovingly, Michaela reached out and wiped away some of Colleen's tears, before using the same hand to dry of some of her own. "What I really meant to tell you is," Michaela started, breathing in hard trying to compose herself, "How much this place meant to Rebecca. Working here was her way to find freedom, and you ought to know how proud she was to be a part of this. How proud she was of you."

Unable to speak, Colleen sat down on the floor in front of her mother, and buried her face in her lap. It felt so good to just sit there – so unbelievably safe. Mumbling into Michaela's skirt, Colleen spoke in such a pain filled voice Michaela didn't really know what to say for a moment, but she listened, "How can I let her down like this? How can I let all my patients down?" Doing the only thing she could think of, and something that had calmed her daughter hundreds of times over the years, Michaela comfortingly stroked her daughter's hair, "Colleen, I know that you feel responsible for everyone – your caring nature is partly what makes you a great doctor, but you have got to think about you now Colleen. About you and the baby." The room fell into a thoughtful silence. Michaela continued with a small amount of her once well-known fire returning to her voice, "I do not have the money to finance this clinic at the moment, but I promise you – I promise that we will find a way for your patients to be cared for," Michaela spoke with a low voice, continuing caressing her daughter's soft curls.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chap 29**

"Wait! Dr Mike!" Michaela, who was following her family towards the waiting carriage, immediately turned upon hearing her name. Seeing Beth hurrying out through the front door, eagerly waving an over filled basket, Michaela felt her face break up in a wide smile. "Err, I'm sorry; Dr Quinn I meant…" Highly embarrassed by her own forwardness, Beth didn't even know where to look, and as she saw the strong disapproval in her employer's eyes, the elderly housemaid hurried to correct herself. During her almost forty years as a housemaid she had never stepped over the boundaries in the way she just had, but there was something very disarming about the woman standing in front of her. Dr Michaela Quinn might look like a well bred lady, and she certainly moved with the grace that came with the title, but her caring nature and untamed spirit made it impossible not to feel close to her. The way she had showed up in the kitchen, insisting to help with whatever she could, but most importantly the natural and genuine way she behaved towards everyone in her presence, regardless of their position, made her truly unique. Yes, Beth would truly miss her, and her family – even during the awful circumstances which had caused their visit, they had really brightened up the normally very gloomy house. Bringing her mind back to the present, the normally unflappable Beth was clearly having problems controlling her emotions, but managed to say, "I packed you some food for the journey, and I prepared some of that bitter tea that you insist on drinking. Of course it's going to be cold, but I thought that you might want it anyway…"

Deeply touched by thought and the redness of the older woman's slightly chubby cheeks, Michaela could not resist giving her a hug. Accepting the friendly offer of sustenance Michaela could not help but laugh. "I told you to call me Mike, didn't I? And this looks like enough food to feed an army," she affectionately stated, while handing the heavy basket to her husband. Instantly going back to feeling comfortable, Beth returned the doctor's kind smile. "Well, I did promise your son to put some meat on your bones, and even though I can't claim to have succeeded in my mission, no one is going to say that I didn't try," Beth playfully confessed, while reaching out for Brian, who together with his siblings had turned and walked a few steps back in order to give the sweet lady a proper good bye.

"Hhmm," the emotional moment was broken by William, standing beside the open carriage door, looking very confused by the scene taking place before him. "I think we better go if you are not to miss your train," he said locking his eyes to the ground. "Oh certainly," Michaela replied while affectionately squeezing Beth's warm hand one last time, before hurrying after her family, who had eagerly started to enter the carriage.

"You are certain that Mollie will meet us at the train station? I would hate to leave without saying good bye and been given a chance to really thank her," Michaela worryingly asked, concerned by her new friend's unusual absence. However, William didn't seem to hear her, and she was unable to read his expression. Herman, already sitting on the driver-seat, saw the situation, and after some hesitation he stepped in. "Yes Mame, Mrs Burke said to meet you at the train station." Keeping his eyes at his employer he continued, "She said it was something that she had to do, but that she would be there in time to see you off," The manservant had been well aware that the question hadn't been addressed to him, but seeing that Dr Burke didn't even seem to have heard his guest's question, he felt obligated to step in. Michaela rewarded him with a grateful smile, before letting Sully assist her into the carriage.

* * *

Michaela felt warmth of Sully's supporting hand on the small of her back, as they walked the short distance from the carriage to the crowded train station. Turning around slightly, she worryingly needed to reassure herself that Colleen was doing okay, as she quietly walked by Brian's side. Behind them Michaela caught a glimpse of Matthew and Herman struggling with most of the family's luggage.

"It will be okay, she will be okay," Sully gently whispered, sensing her anxiety. Michaela quietly replied, "I know, I know, I just can't help but worry," forcing Sully smile. "I'm just worried that this trip will be too much for her, and she had barely said a word all morning, … perhaps this is too soon – I mean, she is worried about her clinic, her patients, and I can't help but to feel that she hasn't told me the entire truth about her sudden desire to go home" she paused, and Sully saw tears glisten in her beautiful eyes. "She has been through so much, and I'm not sure if she is really ready for this. She is in so much pain both physical and emotional," she nervously added, tension simply radiating from her body.

Affectionately, Sully pulled her closer to him. "Now you're fretting Michaela" he gently smiled. "We are going home and that's a good thing right? Whatever might be her true reason, she will tell you eventually, I'm sure," he softly whispered in her ear, while holding her comfortably against his strong body.

"How come I was blessed with such a wise man?" Michaela heart-fully joked, grateful for her beloved husband's attempt to comfort her. "Wise huh?" Sully asked, playfully raising his eyebrows. "Well don't they say that opposites attract…?" He added with a wink. "They do huh?" Michaela replied, mocking his dialect, while sending an elbow in his side – a movement that caused them both to grimace. Looking at each other they could not help but giggle. Turning serious again, Sully pulled them both to a halt. "Hey, I'm mostly worried about you. This journey must be painful for you too, you're sure you are up to it?" Sully asked, concern written all over his face. Nodding, Michaela said, "I will be fine. Can't think of about another place I would rather be than home," affectionately sealing her request with a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Ma look!" their magic moment was broken by Brian's exited voice. Looking in the direction of which their son eagerly pointed, they very happily surprised to see Mollie, closely followed by Bettie Free. "Mollie! Bettie! What a surprise! I'm so glad to see you!" Michaela exclaimed, stepping forward to greet her friends with a hug. After that the entire family had followed suit and greeted the women, Mollie turned her attention back to Michaela and said, "Oh I can't believe that I almost missed you" all the time intensely gesticulating with her arms. Michaela smiled as she replied, "I'm just so happy that you made it; I really didn't want to leave without saying goodbye and thank you for your hospitality," she continued, turning her attention to the other woman, a little shyly standing behind Mollie, "And Bettie, I'm so glad to see you. Sully and I were speaking last night, and since we were running out of time we meant to write you when we got home to Colorado," seeking her husband's hand as if wanting to emphasize their solidarity on the subject. "We were thinking that you and the family, when Anthony is feeling better of course, might want to come and live in Colorado Springs? The town is constantly growing, and I'm sure that both you and Bill could find employment. You could stay with us until you got on your feet, and both Pete and Anthony could attend school," she offered, eagerly waiting for a response.

Everyone turned to look at Bettie, who looked totally shocked and seemed unable to speak. "You… you would do that for us?" she finally managed to stutter out, staring at the white couple before her with big eyes. "Yes of course, we would love to have you," Michaela smiled, and Sully silently nodded. "I don't know what to say… No one has ever done anything like this for us," Bettie finally managed to say, tears starting to well out from her eyes. "I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am, but Boston is our home; our house might not be fancy, but it is the first real home we had since we got free…" she started to explain apologetically.

"There is no need to explain, we understand," Michaela gently offered, trying to ease Bettie's obvious awkwardness. "And our offer stands; our door will always be open," she added. A genuine smile crept up Bettie's face, and she could no longer keep her happy news. "I got a job!" she blurted out, and then nervously glanced at Mollie, still not truly daring to believe her sudden luck.

Mollie tensed hearing Bettie's announcement and her eyes nervously started to wander between Dr Mike and Colleen. "That is if Dr Cook agrees with our plan," she quickly added, her cheeks turning slightly red. "Agree to what?" Colleen asked, looking completely confused. "Hmm, we wanted to ask you if you would mind us keeping your clinic running while you are away?" William who had been standing back until now, walked up to stand beside his wife, and for the first time they actually looked as an item. "My clinic? Running?" Colleen stared at the older colleague before her, not understanding what he was trying to say.

"Yes, spending time with your mother and you, made me realize that the world is bigger than the little bubble that I seem to have lived in," Mollie started to explain, her cheeks turning pink. "I have come to realize that there are people out there who are living under conditions that I didn't even think possible, and how much your clinic means for them. I know that I'm not a trained physician, or even a nurse for that matter, but I'm a fairly good organizer, and I'm willing to learn. Closing down this clinic would be a disaster," she continued to argue, her eyes burning in a way they never had before.

A very surprised Michaela asked William, "Would you work there?" Nodding in response William replied, "I would work there one day a week, but I have arranged with several other physicians to put in pro-bono time as well, so there will be a doctor at the clinic a couple of hours every day," he nervously answered, still not feeling comfortable being around her since his embarrassing mishap the day before.

After being handed a list with names, both Colleen and Michaela just stared at him. "How did you manage to make them agree to this?!" Michaela suspiciously asked, instantly recognizing most of the names, and knowing full well that several of them weren't particularly fond of women doctors, or normally famous for their engagement in pro-bono work. Colleen's attention went back to the list, as she felt she had to read it again. Still not knowing what to believe, she stared at the colleague before her.

William squirmed under their intense gazes, but at the same time he felt his heart begin to drum inside his chest; He had put that expression of wonder on Mike and her daughter's face! He had! Well he and Mollie had. Swallowing hard, he turned and glanced at the woman standing beside him; the stranger he had married several years before, just because of her strong outer resemblance of his beloved Mike – the woman he could never have. He had married a stranger – a face, and she had stayed a stranger, until now. It was almost laughable to think that it had taken the one person who had kept them apart, to finally find some common ground. Bringing his mind back to answering Michaela's question, William was just barely managing to keep his voice normal as he finally replied, "I just paid them a personal visit and asked them a polite question." Seeing the skeptical signs in all the faces before him, he couldn't hide a cheeky smile. He had the leading part here – the hero, and he enjoyed it. He added, a big smirk playing on his face, "And I might have pointed out the benefits of treating the pro-bono patients in the Cook- clinic instead of having them coming knocking on their own fancy office doors, offending their high-class patients while begging for help."

"They agreed to do this?!" Michaela repeated, still not sure what to believe, but with a faint gleam of hope starting to show in her eyes. Nervously, she glanced at her daughter, trying to read her reaction. "Well, with Mollie persuading their wives, they didn't have much of a choice, did they?" William clarified, giving his wife an almost shy smile. "Women tend to see these kinds of needs clearer," Mollie proudly stated, feeling her husband's eyes looking at her with an interest that she had never experienced before. "They didn't just make sure their husbands saw the need, but they also agreed to help raise money for the cause, and you know that empty premises next door to the clinic?!" she continued, unable to council the excitement she felt. "Hmmm," Colleen answered, questioningly nodding her head. Mollie continued, pride shining through her eyes, "We are going to turn it in to a small library, and a sort of homeschooling office!" Pausing for breath, she could see that both Michaela and Colleen were dumbfounded. Finishing off her plan of action, Mollie said, "Seeing little Joey's excitement and wonder over the book that you gave young Anthony, made me see the importance of learning the reading skills. And then Brian told me about your little library…" she started to explain, giving Brian a grateful look. "It just hit me. I mean I know that we already got a library here in Boston – a grand one there is, but we could use a small one – just like yours, to be open for everyone, and create a meeting place where people could learn," she paused, and effectively gesticulated with her hands. "I'm not stupid," she passionately continued, "I know it wouldn't make the world perfect, but learning to read and to be given the opportunity to study might at least even out the odds. It would open up a new world, and hopefully give the children the key for their future."

Seeing the surprised, but pleased faces of the entire family before him, William, feeling much more confident, turned his attention back to Colleen. "So, how about it Dr Cook? May we keep the Cook-clinic open in your absence?" he smiled, waiting for her answer.

Colleen felt everyone's eyes on her, and she swallowed hard. Glancing at her mother she saw hope in her face, but also a deep understanding. This was her clinic, her creation, but on the other hand it would get a chance to stay open, her patients would still be cared for – the only thing she had to do was to let go, to trust the couple before her. Taking a deep breath, she finally raised her gaze and looked at the Burke's. "On one condition you may," she replied, her voice steady and strong.

"Which would be?" William fearfully asked, feeling the strong tension radiating from his wife standing beside him, and for the first time of their nearly ten years of marriage, he reached out and put comforting hand on the small of her back.

"That you remove the Cook-clinic name," Colleen softly replied, putting one hand over her stomach and reaching for her mother's hand with the other. "I would like the clinic to be named after one of the strongest women I have ever met, the true founder of the clinic; my Grandma, Elizabeth Quinn." Colleen felt her mother emotionally squeeze her hand, and she didn't have to look to know that her eyes had become moist.

"The Elizabeth Quinn Memorial Clinic," a smile started to spread in Mollie's face as she tasted the words in her mouth. "I would be honored to be working in a clinic wearing the name of such a woman," she sincerely stated, nodding her agreement. "I think we all would," William added, kindly including Bettie who silently had been standing little behind him.

"Thank you," Michaela hoarsely whispered, just as the boarding call for the train to Denver was heard. "Thank you all."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Woken by a slight movement beneath her, Michaela could not stop a faint moan of pain from escaping her lips.

"Michaela?" Sully worriedly asked, trying to stay as still as possible so as to not cause his wife further pain. "You okay?"

He desperately wanted to see her face, but from his position, she lay on top of him, all he could sense was her body cramping once again. Sully strongly regretted having to wake his precious burden. Just as he had feared it had been a very rough journey for Michaela. Not that she had voiced any complains – no, not Michaela. Yet just by looking at her drained expression, clenched jaw and tense body, he could easily see how much pain all the rocking and bumping was causing her. Only a few hours earlier had he finally been able to convince her to use him as the support her body needed in order to find some rest. Half lying, with her back pressed against his chest, she had by pure exhaustion been able to drift into a much needed but restless sleep.

"Ma?" Concerned, Brian reached up and put a comforting hand on Michaela's knee. Despite the women's protests he had stubbornly insisted on spending most of the journey on the floor, trying to make the small compartment more comfortable for his mother and sister. "We are close to Denver, Ma," he explained, seeing his mother's disoriented gaze as she opened her eyes.

"Oh." The information slowly started to make sense to her newly woken mind, and Michaela groggily tried to sit.

"Ouch." With a groan she helplessly sank back against Sully.

"Hey, easy, Michaela," Sully instantly soothed her.

"Perhaps you ought to stay where you are?" Brian carefully asked. Michaela, who was fully awake now, saw her son glance towards Colleen who also had finally given in to her body's desperate needs and fallen asleep, leaning against Matthew's strong shoulder.

"No Brian," Michaela determinedly said, "I'm fine – just need some help to sit. There is no need to worry Colleen."

After being helped into a sitting position and getting her breath back, Michaela could not help but giggle a little.

"Michaela?" Surprised, Sully studied his wife beside him, not really knowing what to think.

Michaela shook her head. "Sorry, it's just that I haven't felt this immobile since, since…" She thought for a minute, "Well, since ever."

Playfully, she raised an eyebrow. "And I thought I was bad while expecting Katie," she added, smiling at the two worried men. Turning towards Brian, she gave him a grateful look. "Now you may wake your sister," she said just as they felt the train start slowing down as it entered the Denver train-station.

* * *

"You let go of him!"

Michaela felt her blood freeze as she heard the young voice's loud demand. After laying her hand on Colleen's shoulder, telling her this way to stay put, she instantly disappeared into the crowd of curious people that had gathered at one spot on the platform that was now full of travelers leaving the train.

Before Colleen even realized what was going on, her mother's black shawl was swallowed by the ocean of people before her. Insinctively, she made a hasty step to follow her but then helplessly realized that she was left alone with the family's luggage. Desperately, she turned towards the entrance, and never before had she been as happy as when she finally recognized Sully's unique appearance calmly moving in her direction.

"Let him go! He didn't do anything!" the young girl argued, seemingly totally unaware of the gathering around her. With her hands on her hips, she glared at the tall policeman who was forcefully holding her friend.

"You are safe now Miss…" the cop started but was cut off by the very upset girl.

"Safe?! He is my friend! And you got no right arresting him like this!" One more policeman had arrived on the scene now and grabbed the young girl's arm.

"It's okay Miss. If you only tell us your name and where you live, we will make sure you get back home to your family," the man unsuccessfully tried to calm her.

"He is family! He is my Cheyenne father!" the girl heatedly replied, fighting hard to get out of the man's grip.

"Your what?" As if trying to find out what was wrong with the ungrateful kid before them, both policemen stared at her in disbelief.

"Her Cheyenne father," a female voice clarified, causing confusion by all parties.

"Ma?!" The young girl's tone was filled with hope, and suddenly tears started to run down her cheeks. Breaking free from the policeman, she started moving towards the voice, but almost panicked as she ran into the thick wall of people much taller than herself. "Ma?!" she shouted again as she felt the policeman trying to re-grip her arm.

"Katie!" Michaela had finally been able to find a gap big enough for her to squeeze trough and desperately reached for her daughter. The entire platform grew silent as mother and daughter held each other in a tight embrace. "Oh Katie… what are you doing here?" Michaela eventually managed to whisper while hugging her daughter tight against her chest.

"Ma, they got Cloud Dancing! But he didn't do anything! You got to tell them to let him go!" Katie anxiously started to explain, convinced that her mother would be able to set these men, who treated her Cheyenne father so unfairly, straight.

"Cloud Dancing!" Being thrown back into reality, Michaela, still holding Katie against her side, hastily moved towards her dear friend but was stopped short by one of the policemen.

"Ma'am! You ought to stay away from the prisoner!" he warned her, blocking her way.

"What are your charges against this man?" Michaela demanded, fighting hard to keep her emotions in check while sternly glaring at the young man before her.

"He's an Indian," he simply answered, stating the obvious. "And the Indian was kidnapping this young girl," he slowly added, nodding towards Katie.

Sensing that her daughter was about to react, Michaela gave her a warning glance before turning back towards the police officer. Offering the man a forced smile, Michaela fought hard not to show her strong dislike. "Then this is just an unfortunate misunderstanding," she said, keeping her voice light. "This young girl happens to be my daughter Katherine Sully," she clarified, pulling the child even closer, "and the Cheyenne is our dear friend Cloud Dancing. He did not kidnap my daughter – of that I'm certain, and I do not wish to press any charges."

Strong disapproval was written all over both policemen's faces, and a murmur spread amongst the shocked onlookers.

"Stay away from the prisoner, Ma'am!" the police officer ordered again, gesturing for his colleague to lead Cloud Dancing away.

"I'm sorry, maybe you didn't understand, Sir. I asked you to release this man!" Michaela said, letting go of her daughter and quickly rounded the man in order to block the one trying to lead Cloud Dancing away.

"Ma'am! Stay out of this!" the Policeman hissed through clenched teeth, just about to shove the cheeky woman before him out of the way.

"Hey! What's going on here?" A commanding voice drowning the murmur of the crowd made everyone freeze.

"Matthew!" With a mix of strong relief and amazement, Michaela turned towards the voice.

"Michaela!" Within seconds, Sully, closely followed by the oldest Cooper sibling, broke through the crowd and protectively put himself between the policeman and his wife. "Keep your hands off of her!" he growled, grabbing the man by the collar, almost lifting him from the ground.

"Sully, no!" Matthew put a calming hand on his friend's shoulder, making him let go of the officer.

"What's going on here?" Matthew once again demanded, facing the policemen.

"Mr. Cooper!" one of them exclaimed, recognizing the well-respected young lawyer.

The platform was deadly quiet by now, and everyone followed the unbelievable drama taking place before them. Knowing that the officers wouldn't risk losing their faces in public, Matthew controlled his instinct that was much similar to Sully's.

"Yes, Matthew Cooper," he nodded, politely reaching out his hand to greet the man standing closest to him. "And this is my family: My mother Dr. Michaela Quinn," he gestured towards Michaela, who immediately recognized what her oldest son was up to and gave the two men a courteous smile. "My rather protective father, Commissioner Byron Sully," Matthew continued, giving Sully a warning glance, before turning to Katie, who had, unnoticed by the others, shown up at her brother's side as he spoke. "And this young troublemaker, whom I certainly didn't expect to see here, is my little sister Katie," Matthew looked down at her reproaching, but unable to contain a smile as he playfully ruffled her hair as he always did when teasing her.

Then he turned back to the police officers. "We all appreciate your effort to keep her safe, but like my mother told you this is just a misunderstanding. This man," without being stopped, he walked over to where Cloud Dancing silently stood, still roughly hold by one of the cops, and put a hand on the Cheyenne's tense shoulder, "is a dear friend to us - a part of our family, Cloud Dancing."

It was as if everyone at the train station held their breath, and the officers stared at the well respected lawyer with unhidden disbelief.

"He's an Indian, Sir!" the one holding Cloud Dancing blurted out, still staring at Matthew.

"I promise that this man means no danger to anyone here," Matthew assured, speaking as much to the crowd as to the policemen.

"We got responsibilities to protect the people of this town and…" the other cop started to object, but was interrupted by Matthew, who held up his hand.

"This is a peaceful man, and he has done nothing wrong! No one here…" knowing that he had to win the crowd's sympathy, he made a huge gesture towards everyone on the overfilled platform, "has any reason to fear this man," he ended, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

If possible, these words caused an even deeper silence among the crowd that was waiting for what would happen now. With obvious discomfort the two policemen glanced at each other, silently trying to judge the opinion of the other one just as that of the audience. "Hhmm," one of them eventually cleared his throat, stalling for time while desperately trying to make a decision. "If you promise to take full responsibility for this Indian and make sure that he quietly leaves Denver right this minute, I guess we can spare the costs for feeding him at the jail…," he finally gave in, insecurely glancing at Matthew, and signaling to his very much unwilling colleague to release the prisoner.

"You got nothing to fear – I do not wish to stay in your unfriendly town," Cloud Dancing quietly stated, opening his mouth for the first time.

"He speaks English?" Both policemen, shock written on their faces, stared from the Indian to the lawyer.

"Of course he does! And he is much wiser than any of you could ever hope to be!" Katie blurted out, angrily staring at the men.

Without really knowing what to do, the officers started to move away, creating a narrow passage leading through the crowd.

"Cloud Dancing!" The second Cloud Dancing was set free, Katie rushed to his side, throwing her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get you into trouble! I'm so sorry!" she sobbed, pressing her face against the familiar skin-shirt.

"I know, my friend," he softly reassured, lovingly patting her head. "You have the spirit of a warrior – just like your Ma," he smiled as Katie finally let go and went back into her mother's embrace.

"Haho." Cloud Dancing turned to his brother, greeting him with their usual armgrip. "I am glad to see you," he simply stated, including the entirely family in his words.

"And I'm surprised to see you – both of you," Sully replied, curiously eyeing his friend, while putting a protecting arm around his wife and daughter.

"The Spirits told me I was needed, but they didn't tell me when the train was departing…" Cloud Dancing joked, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he watched Katie's burning cheeks.

"Kates?" Sully sternly eyed his daughter, but seeing the cute mix of guilt and pure rebellion on her young face, which was breathtakingly similar to her mother's, he as always found it nearly impossible to keep a serious expression while disciplining her.

Knowing that she had done wrong but still feeling wrongly accused and left out, Katie put her hands onto her sides, stubbornly meeting her father's eyes.

"Please tell me you weren't on your way traveling to Boston all by yourself, after both your father and I distinctly told you to stay home," Michaela stepped in, fully aware of Sully's weakness when it came to their daughter. "I told you I didn't want to be left behind!" Katie complained, already hearing the lameness of her words before they left her mouth.

"Did you at least inform someone about your plan?" Michaela asked sternly. "Grace and Robert E. must be worried sick by now," she continued, her voice filled with concern.

Unable to deny her guilt – not even to herself, Katie shamefully lowered her eyes. "I left a note…" she quietly confessed, only now realizing the consequences of her action. "I'm sorry…" she uttered, pleadingly glancing at both her parents.

"I know Katie, I know…" Michaela hoarsely whispered, hugging her beloved daughter tightly, treasuring the moment of having her safely in her arms. "We will deal with this later, Kates," Sully softly added, gratefully putting his arms around his wife and daughter. As the hug ended, Michaela turned back to Cloud Dancing. "Thank you," she simply said, letting her eyes say the rest.

Without a word, his expression showing his concern, Cloud Dancing carefully reached out and let his thumb wander over her still visibly bruised jaw. "I'm okay," she answered to his silent question, "we all are."

"You look tired my friend," Sully stated, worriedly observing his brother.

"It is not only my hair that has turned grey," Cloud Dancing joked, "I have seen too many winters for racing after trains…"

"You rode here?" Sully asked terrified, reaching out for his friend.

"Like I said; the Spirits did not give me the train schedule," Cloud Dancing lightly replied, humor shining in his dark eyes.

"Well, you aren't riding home!" Michaela was firm, immediately shifting into her doctor mode. "You are going with us on our train that leaves," she stopped to take a look at her watch, "within 30 minutes!" she ended her sentence somewhat stressed.

"But my horse!" Cloud Dancing objected, shaking his head.

"Your horse I will ride home tomorrow," Matthew chimed in.

Seeing all the surprised faces turning towards him, he nonchalantly raised his shoulders. "You can have my ticket, Cloud Dancing. Your horse needs the rest anyway, and it would give me some time to clear up some unfinished business here before I follow you," he explained.

"Thank you, Matthew!" Michaela gave her son a grateful smile, and Cloud Dancing griped his arm. "Thank you, Son – I would say the eggshell is perfect now," he spoke lowly in the younger man's ear.

Giving Cloud Dancing a friendly slap on the back, Matthew turned to his parents. "I will go and get this young savage here a ticket," he teased, once again ruffling Katie's brown hair. "And send a telegram," he added, giving his little sister a meaningful glance.

"Meet you by the train," he said over his shoulder, making his way towards the ticket window.

"Oh my God, Colleen!" Michaela suddenly exclaimed terrified, putting a hand over her mouth. "I just left her! She must be worried sick by now!"

Not able to hide a smirk, Sully pulled her close. "Relax Michaela, Brian is with her and she is fine," he gently smiled.

"Brian is here? And Colleen?" Katie's face lit up with joy as she expectantly looked at her parents.

"Yeah, they are waiting with the luggage over there," Sully started, but didn't even manage to finish the sentence because Katie had already taken off in the direction he pointed.

"Katherine Elizabeth Sully!" Michaela shouted after her, but only met deaf ears. Helplessly glancing at her husband, opening her mouth to speak, Sully grinned. "Hey don't blame me! In situations like this she is truly your daughter, Dr Quinn," he grinned, starting to move after Katie, but was stopped by Cloud Dancing who was grabbing his arm.

"I'm sorry, but there is something that I must tell you," the Cheyenne started, genuine sadness showing in his tired eyes, his tone causing goose bumps on both Michaela and Sully.

"Yes?" Michaela managed to croak, squeezing Sully's hand tightly in her own.

"It is about the storekeeper," Cloud Dancing gently started, knowing how much the old man meant to the couple before him.

"Loren?" Michaela gasped, already knowing the answer but desperately wishing she was wrong.

Even though Mr. Bray and Cloud Dancing had formed a deep respect for each other, even a friendship over the years, they still referred to each other as the Indian and the storekeeper.

"Yes, I'm afraid he is very sick," the Cheyenne informed his friends. "He has been taken to the hospital, but I'm afraid that the Spirits are taking him home…"


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Leaning his head against the window, Sully silently watched the landscape slowly grow more and more familiar as the train got closer to home. Home - even the word tasted as sweet as honey in his mouth. It didn't mean Colorado Springs though; the town had become far too big for his likening; it meant the warmth of their homestead. Sometimes he still couldn't believe that he was actually lucky enough to have a family like his, to have a wife like Michaela.

He smiled as he continued gazing out of the window. He could almost sense the faint scent of the wooden walls that contained so much love. He treasured every part of their house, but especially Michaela and his private paradise. Their bedroom had provided them with shelter from the real world and its sorrows many times during the years, allowing them to just live in the present. In that room there were no lies and was no pretending, and if he had to choose just one place where he had to stay for the rest of his life, it would be that room – with Michaela. In that room it was just the two of them although, and he had to smile to himself when this thought crossed his mind, unfortunately Katie obviously had a strong urge to spend time in there very often as well. Amused by memories of all the times their beloved daughter had disturbed their private moments, Sully smilingly shook his head while affectionately stroking his daughter's fair hair.

Katie had been upset seeing her mother and sister's bruised faces and spent the first part of the journey asking questions, seriously trying to make sense of the vague answers she received. Eventually she had given in to her exhaustion and allowed the train's movements to rock her to sleep as she lay safely curled up in her father's lap. Sully knew they would have to deal with her disobeying when they got home, but right now he was just content by having her safe. And to be honest; how would they be able to punish their daughter for doing something that any of them would have done themselves without any hesitation? He sighed dejectedly and gave Michaela a concerned glance.

Michaela had been sitting stiffly, staring straight ahead for the most part of this last part of their journey, anguish written all over her pale face. Sully could easily guess what was in her heart, knowing how dear Loren had become to her over the years. He was family, and she would never forgive herself for not being there when he needed her. Sully swallowed. The old man was the closest thing he himself had as a father; he was the only grandfather Brian and Katie had ever known, and it was hard to imagine Colorado Springs without him. Deep down he acknowledged that Cloud Dancing was right; that Loren was an old man and that it was time for mother earth to take him home. However, he genuinely hoped that they would make it back in time to say goodbye.

Glancing at Cloud Dancing who sat opposite from him in the compartment, having his eyes closed and his head leaning back against the hard wall behind him, Sully felt his heart once again fill with gratitude. Even though it looked like it, Sully knew his friend wasn't asleep but only resting his tired soul. His brother looked exhausted; all his life's tests and sorrows showing in the deep furrows covering his face. Cloud Dancing had experienced more horror and injustice than anyone deserved to live with, and even though Sully could not truly understand where his brother found the strength to wake up each morning, he was extremely grateful that he did.

With his mind heavy with guilt for failing his Cheyenne family, Sully had to look away, and accidently met Brian's knowing gaze. Looking into the familiar eyes of the young man before him, Sully could not help but see the little boy who once so innocently had torn down the strong walls surrounding his broken heart. Silently he wondered if he would ever had been ready to face his inner demons in time not to lose his Heartsong if it hadn't been for that persistent little boy. The child had already suffered so many losses and sorrows himself, and yet he had the strength to reach out and save so many lost souls around him. His caring and fearless nature made it impossible not to love him. He had become his son, and he would be forever grateful for having this boy in his life. Moved, he gave the young man a small nod.

Letting his eyes wander further, they came to rest on Colleen who, much like Michaela, seemed to be locked up in her own world. Her own nightmare. The young doctor looked like a frightened child. Sully felt her fear. He knew how hard it would be for her to come home and face everyone she knew; face their prejudices, their words, their stares and their pity. Reaching out, he carefully gave her cold hand a supporting squeeze, distracting her from her troubled thoughts.

Looking up Colleen attempted to give him something akin to a smile. How he wished he could carry her burden for her, take away her pain, but he couldn't. It was impossible, yet he swore to himself that he would be there for her, for the child, for the family. Together they would make it. Together they would be strong.

Leaning back against the window, he once again lost himself to the land outside, willing the train to move faster.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Even before the train had come to an entire halt Michaela rose to her feet, manically moving towards the door. On her way she adjusted the shawl to cover her bruised jaw and was just about to open the door as she caught a glimpse of Colleen out of the corner of her eye. Even though everyone around her was moving, getting ready to leave the train, Colleen sat completely still. Seeing the pure anguish in her daughter's eyes, Michaela hastily moved back and sat down beside her. Carefully reaching out and laying her hand on top of Colleen's, which's knuckles had turned white from clutching the fabric of her skirt that was covering her knee, Michaela quietly gave it a supporting squeeze.

"You can do this, Colleen," she finally whispered, still holding her hand. Slowly Colleen raised her head, doubt written on her face and with tears glistening in her tired eyes, as she finally met her mother's. "We will do it together," Michaela softly added, lovingly wiping away a tear escaping from the corner of Colleen's eye.

Taking a deep breath, inhaling all the love and support surrounding her, Colleen gave her mother a small but brave smile. "Let's do this," she said; the sound of her own shaky voice almost surprising herself.

Returning Colleen's smile, Michaela reached out and adjusted her daughter's shawl just as she had done with her own. "Luckily it's cold – we will fit right in." A glimpse of humor was shining in her sad eyes as she attempted a joke, which was rewarded with a hoarse sound, reminding of a laugh.

"Ready to go?" Sully reached out and helped his wife to her feet, and after Colleen had nodded her agreement Brian did the same for her.

"Sully, I really need to check on Loren. Would you please make sure that Colleen gets home to rest?" Guilt was written all over her face as she faced her husband.

"Sure." Fully knowing how hard this was on his wife, Sully simply leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

"That's not necessary. I will go with you to the hospital." Determined Colleen stood facing her ma.

"But Sweetheart, you really need to rest…" Michaela objected, putting a protective hand on her shoulder.

"And you don't?" Colleen challenged. "It's Mr. Bray, Ma! I'm going."

"So am I." Brian stood beside his sister.

"Me too!" Katie's head peeked out from behind her siblings.

Helplessly Michaela glanced at Sully. She was torn between her wanting to make sure Colleen went home to rest and her desire to rush to Loren immediately, and once again she was drowning in her feelings of never being enough. Seeing her despair and knowing that she needed to go, Sully gave her upper arm a comforting rub. "You go ahead. We will bring the luggage and meet you there."

* * *

Not wanting to lose another precious second, Michaela hurried down the muddy street. Not wishing to be recognized she kept her head down, praying that she wouldn't be too late. She had almost passed the saloon as she heard a slurred voice calling out for her.

"Hey! Dr Mike!" The familiar tone sent goose-bumps down her spine. "Where the hell have you been?" Jake loudly demanded as he staggered down the porch and tried to keep going in a straight line towards her.

"You are drunk Jake," Michaela sadly stated, attempting to move around the man.

"Loren needed you and you weren't here." Jake clumsily reached out and grabbed her arm. "I'm the Mayor…"

"Hey Slicker! Hands off!" Hank had heard the commotion and hastily jumped over the railing.

Hearing his friend's serious tone Jake immediately let go and unsteadily began to sway backwards and forward, trying to keep his balance while holding his hands in the air.

"He's been drinking." Shaken from her friend's unjustified outburst, Michaela turned to face the bartender, who merely shrugged his shoulders and put the cigar back into his mouth. Blowing out the smoke he nonchalantly met her accusing eyes. "The man is grieving, Michaela."

"Loren… Is he?" The little color left on her cheeks quickly drained her face.

"Nhaa. Last time I heard the old man was still hanging in there," Hank calmed her, blowing out more smoke but for a second failing to hide his own deep sorrow. "Thought I better keep him here where I can keep an eye on him," he added, making a simple nod towards the still swaying Jake.

Just hearing that Loren was still alive gave Michaela new focus. She might still have a chance, and deep down she knew that Hank had a point. No matter how disappointed she was by seeing Jake in this state after managing to stay more or less sober for years, she knew it was his way of dealing with the pain. At least he was in safe hands for the time being. Although it sometimes annoyed her she had to admit that Hank, even though he mostly had a very different view from her own, was quite often right. Not many people could make her as furious as that long-haired, whisky drinking, rude man standing there smoking a cigar with a big smirk on his face, but ironically enough, he was also one of those she had come to trust most over the years. He never held back with his opinions or stepped away from a fight, but in most cases he did it with respect, and deep down he was a true friend. Giving him a grateful nod, she turned around to leave.

"You got to save him! You hear?" Feeling a strong urge to clarify the importance of his words, Jake staggered after the doctor, trying to make her face him again. Losing his balance he almost knocked Michaela over, pulling off her shawl in the process.

"Easy!" With the cigar in the corner of his mouth, Hank reached out preventing both of them from hitting the ground.

Struggling to get her breath back Michaela turned to face her attacker, yet seeing the unsightly bruises' sharp contrast against the pale face Jake stumbled backwards, terrified.

A low whistle escaped Hank's mouth. "Michaela…" His tone was low and playful, a teasing smirk covering his face. "And I thought you weren't in to boxing." As he raised an eyebrow he asked, "Who won?"

Giving Hank a glance that could have killed, Michaela turned and took off without a word.

* * *

"Michaela!" Seeing the familiar form in the doorway, Dorothy instantly got to her feet. Still holding Loren's limp hand, she just stood there staring at the doctor not quite sure if her prayers had been heard or if it only was her tired brain playing a trick on her.

"How is he?" Michaela hastily crossed the room towards the bed while stripping off her coat and shawl.

"Michaela… your face…?" Shocked, Dorothy stared at her friend.

"I will tell you later," Michaela absently replied, already focused on the lifeless man lying before her.

A deep wrinkle developed between her eyebrows as her hands skillfully worked their way over Loren's damp skin. Finally reaching for the medical chart laying on the small table next to the bed, she was interrupted by a low knock on the doorframe.

"Dr. Mike…" Dr. Smith was standing in the doorway, hesitating to go in. "Nurse Rita told me you were back and wanted to see me?" he questioningly stated, nervously staring at the chart in her hands.

"What was your diagnosis regarding Mr. Bray?" Michaela asked, briefly looking up from reading.

"Uhm…" The young man stared at her. "Your face! Did someone hurt you?!" Protectively he rushed into the room.

"The patient," Michaela sternly reminded, waving off her colleague's deep concern.

"Yes, well, he was in a very bad condition when he got here," Dr. Smith stalled, mechanically increasing the distance between them.

"Your diagnosis?" Michaela pushed, her eyes still focused on the text before her.

"Pneumonia – both sides," he finally answered, really not wanting to debate his work.

Michaela nodded, deeply concentrated. "And your treatment?"

"I… He is old…" The young man didn't know where to look. "He is dying, I mean," he finally mumbled, staring at the bed post.

Horrified Michaela stared at her colleague. "You haven't done anything?! You didn't even try?!"

"I… I…" the younger doctor embarrassedly stammered, wishing nothing more than to finally be able to impress the woman before him, but once again failing miserably.

Suppressing her anger Michaela sprang into action. "Dorothy, could you please wait in the hall? James, please go and get the instruments we need in order to drain his lungs. I need you to assist me," she demanded, already starting to prepare Loren for the operation.

"You mean he will make it?" Dorothy choked, a faint shimmer of hope flashing in her red-edged eyes.

Freezing in action, Michaela took a deep breath before turning to face her friend. With tears glistening in her eyes she reached out and put her hand over Dorothy and Loren's still linked ones. "I don't know Dorothy. I honestly don't know," she whispered. "He is very weak, but I can't just stand here and do nothing. I got to try."

"Thank you." Gratefully Dorothy placed her other hand on top of Michaela's and gave it a supporting squeeze.

Wiping away a tear threatening to escape her eye, Michaela went back to work.

Lovingly, Dorothy bent down and placed a soft kiss on Loren's forehead. "You are a dear man Loren Bray," she whispered before slowly straightening her back, turning and silently leaving the room.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33 **

"Brian!" Despite her deep concern, Dorothy couldn't help but feel sheer joy seeing the young man she had tutored all these years hurrying towards her. "Miss Dorothy," Brian smiled, returning the warm hug he received.

"Oh Colleen…" Dorothy's smile disappeared the second she spotted the quiet woman behind Brian.

"Oh Colleen," she repeated, instantly letting go of the young man and moving towards his sister.

Stopping right in front of her, Dorothy ever so carefully reached out and softly touched the ugly bruise still covering at least half of Colleen's pretty face. A deep understanding, a terrifying recognition, shone in the older woman's eyes. There was no need for words. No questions. "I'm so glad you are home," she whispered, drawing the young woman into a comforting embrace.

"How's Mr. Bray?" Colleen asked with a shaky voice, really not wanting to have a public breakdown. Still holding the younger woman's hand, Dorothy sadly shook her head.

"Michaela is in there now," she replied, nervously glancing towards the closed door. "Dr. Smith and she are trying to drain his lungs, but Michaela says he is very weak," she quietly added, a tear dripping down her tired face.

"I am sorry." Cloud Dancing, who together with Sully and Katie had entered the hallway, walked up to his dear friend and took a supporting grip around her free arm. Leading her to one of the chairs right next to Loren's door, he made her sit down. "You are a good friend, Dorothy. You have done your best, but you need to rest now."

"Katherine Sully!" Grace's uncharacteristically shrill tone coming from the entrance on the floor below caused everyone to freeze. Seeing her Godmother's hunted expression as she hurried up the stairs, almost dragging young Olivia behind her, Katie felt overwhelmed by guilt. With her cheeks burning she tried to make herself as small as possible, wanting to disappear where she stood behind her father's back. But she didn't. The very next second she found herself staring straight into Miss Grace's brown eyes. The woman had rushed forward, grabbing her shoulders now and bending down to be on eye level with her. "Don't you ever scare me like that again!" Grace choked out, before pulling her beloved godchild into a strong embrace.

* * *

Sitting on the side of the bed, Michaela leaned over and softly touched the furrowed face that she had come to hold so dear during the years. Softly squeezing Loren's bony hand she allowed the tears to run freely down her cheeks. She had sent James out just a few minutes before, after they had given up their attempts to drain the lungs. Their efforts were in vain – the lungs kept filling up on a forceful speed, and as painful it was to admit, she knew that Loren had lost the last battle of his life. She was well aware of the friends and family anxiously waiting for news or at least a chance to say goodbye just outside the door, but no matter how selfishly it might be she couldn't bring herself to face that just yet. She needed to allow herself a private moment to say her goodbyes and to grief.

Not really sure if she had actually felt the slight movement she thought she had, she didn't even dare to breath as she stared at their linked hands. "Loren…" she finally whispered, tasting the salt of her tears.

"Marjorie?" Loren's dry lips formed the word, hardly audible, and his eyelids weakly fluttered open revealing two very groggy but yet hopeful eyes.

"No Loren, it's Michaela," she softly corrected while continuing to stroke his forehead. "You got pneumonia, Loren," she whispered. "We drained your lungs, but you have to fight Loren. You have to fight."

Weakly he looked up, trying hard for his eyes to focus on the beautiful face he knew so well.

"Dr. Mike," he managed to murmur, relieved to find her by his side. As his vision got clearer his already wrinkled face suddenly crumpled up, and he made a weak attempt to reach out towards her still visible bruise. "Aww, Dr. Mike. What have you gotten yourself into now?"

Smiling through her tears Michaela, sentimental by Loren being Loren, reassuringly shook her head. "I'm okay Loren. We all are. The others are waiting just outside. They would love to see you."

Squeezing his hand one last time, she got up and started moving towards the door.

"Wait." Looking highly embarrassed Loren signaled for her to come and sit back on the bed.

"You once told me that I was the heart of this town – remember?" he awkwardly started. "When you tried to get me into that picture." Not understanding what he was getting at Michaela slowly nodded.

"I have looked at that picture many times over the years, but it only took one time to see the truth. I'm not the heart of this town – you are."

Speechless, Michaela stared at the old man before her, but never the less she opened her mouth.

"No." Loren determinedly gestured for her to listen. He closed his eyes, and Michaela wasn't sure if he did it because of pure exhaustion or embarrassment. She knew from the past how much effort it had taken Loren to really talk about his feelings, but even though she didn't want him to waste his strength she could clearly see how much he needed to get something off his chest.

"I lost my daughter many years ago," Loren shakily started, still not looking at her but weakly clinging onto her hand. "I was a dumb fool, and I lost my family even before she died."

Michaela was just about to object as he continued, "I don't know why – a grumpy old fool as myself, but I got a second chance. You, Sully and the kids… I just…" his voice faded away, and a lonely tear traveled down his wrinkled cheek.

Knowing exactly what was in his heart, Michaela felt new tears well up in her eyes. "I love you, too," she whispered and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

* * *

"Loren is awake, and he wishes to see you."

Everyone's attention turned towards Michaela as she gently opened the door. Standing there she saw a faint glimmer of hope in their eyes, but turning to face Dorothy she sadly shook her head. Slowly rising to his feet, Brian was the first to move. After gently helping Colleen to stand, the two of them walked together to their mother and gave her a small hug before quietly entering the room.

Cloud Dancing stood, reaching out to help Dorothy up, offering her all the support he could. "I will wait for you out here," he said, putting a comforting hand on her back.

Taking in a deep breath, Dorothy shakily started to move towards her final good bye. Walking past Michaela, she briefly stopped to squeeze her hand.

Michaela's eyes sought Sully's, where he stood with his hands protectively resting on their youngest daughter's shoulders; he was waiting for her to comprehend the information her mother had just given them. Breaking free, Katie ran into her mother's embrace, crying against her chest.

"Mr. Bray is going to die? Can't you save him?" she hiccupped.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart," Michaela whispered, lovingly stroking her daughter's hair. "But he is still with us, and he would really like to see you," she continued, holding her daughter tightly.

"You're up to this, Kates?" Sully gently asked, walking up and pulling both his wife and daughter into a comforting embrace. Meeting her father's eyes, Katie bravely nodded and together the three of them went into room.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"Sully?" Loren asked, his eyes tiredly searching for his former son in law among the familiar faces filling his room.

"I'm here, Loren," Sully hoarsely replied, carefully making his way towards the bed. Quietly, he had been standing back, keeping his arm tightly around Michaela, while their family and friends bid their tear-filled farewell to the beloved old man who had been such an important part of their lives for what felt like an eternity.

Stepping back to make room for Sully, Dorothy was grateful to feel Colleen's supporting hand slipping in hers.

"Hey Loren." Awkwardly Sully came to stand in Loren's view.

"Hey," the old man replied, a hint of a smile moving over his almost transparent face.

"Feared we lost you, that we were too late," Sully hesitantly began, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Think I would go without saying goodbye?" Loren answered, looking as if he enjoyed their friendly little banter, receiving a small grin from the younger man in return.

"I know I ain't always acting like it, but you are the closest thing to a son I got." Loren grew quiet fighting for a wheezing breath.

"I know. I heard what you told Brian by the creek that day." Sully swallowed hard. "When you thought I was dead…" he hesitantly confessed.

"You?..." Loren accusingly started, but was cut short by a massive cough-attack.

"Loren!" Michaela instantly rushed to the violently coughing man, worriedly checking his vitals. "Breath Loren, please, breath calmly."

Desperately clinging onto Michaela's arm Loren's fit slowly subsided and exhausted he sank back against the pillows.

"I'm sorry Loren," Sully regretfully apologized. "I'm sorry for not revealing myself then and for upsetting you now." Ever so carefully he gripped one of Loren's thin hands, putting it against his own heart. "I just wanted you to know how much those words meant to me," he seriously explained. "I haven't always showed it either, but you are like a father to me, too."

Seeing a faint smile on Loren's lips, Sully took a deep breath of relief.

"I'm proud of you, Son," the older man mumbled, before closing his eyes and peacefully relaxing against the pillows.

"Loren?" Fearing the worst, Michaela once again felt for the old man's pulse.

"Ain't dead yet," Loren weakly stated, almost looking like he enjoyed the attention.

"Come here, Son," Loren reached for Brian, who tearfully sat down on the edge of the bed. "Would you do something for me?" the old man weakly asked.

"Anything," Brian answered, wiping his nose with the sleeve.

"Would you tell me the story about the grumpy old man and the boy whishing for a Grandpa?"

Questioningly, Brian eyed the old man. "But I don't got it with me… I don't know where it is," he nervously rambled.

"I could go home and see if I could find it for you, I…" he eagerly got up on his feet.

"No," Loren determinedly objected, shaking his head. "From your heart, just what you remember," he mumbled, pleading to the young man with his eyes.

Michaela swallowed hard, clearly remembering that day they had almost lost Loren. Closing her eyes she relived walking into the store, seeing the gun in Loren's shaky hand. She felt the cold metal against her fingers as she picked up the cartridges he had dropped on the floor. The image of Loren that day sent goose bumps up her arms, and it wasn't until she felt the warmth of Sully's supporting form closing up behind her that she came back to reality.

Seeing the distress in her son's eyes, Michaela gave him a supporting nod, but the young man's mind seemed to have gone blank by the stressful situation. Sitting down on her side of the bed, Michaela picked up one of Loren's cold hands. Clearing her throat, she once again allowed her mind to travel back to that day, hearing Brian's childish voice and repeating the words. "Here it goes: Once there was a boy who was lonely for a Grandpa," she hoarsely started, tears blinding her view.

"He never had one, so he was always dreaming what it was like," Brian continued, hesitatingly at first, fumbling for Loren's other hand, but as he closed his eyes the words came back to him. "In the town where he lived there was an old shop-keeper. Some people said he was kind of cranky, but the boy knew it wasn't so. Because he was always sneaking the boy candy when his Ma wasn't looking," he paused, almost smiling remembering actually believing that Dr Mike hadn't known about that.

"Once he even showed the boy how to play Beautiful Dreamer on the harmonica. Sometimes when no one was around they talked about stars and girls and stuff like that, and the boy was thinking maybe the man was lonely for a grandson…" Brian's voice faded as he felt Loren's hand go limp in his. Opening his eyes, he saw a small smile on Loren's lips, a single tear running down the peaceful face, and he knew that his grandpa was no longer with them.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

With his heart filled with love and gratitude Sully silently stood watching his beautiful wife in the dim light coming from the oil-lamp beside her. It had been a quiet ride home from town. The autumn dark had already fallen, and Grace had kindly insisted on sending them dinner, a dinner though none of them had had the energy or the spirit to actually eat.

Brian had helped him with the horses and finishing the chores for the night before he'd settled down with a cup of tea and his notepad in front of the cozy fire in the living room.

Katie, exhausted from the day's events, had almost fallen asleep in the wagon on the way to the homestead, and he knew Michaela had tucked her in as soon as they got home. Creeping in her room to give his sleeping angel her usual goodnight kiss he had been surprised to find her old favorite story book lying on the small table next to her bed. The book was worn from all the nights Katie had wished to hear the same fairy-tale all over again as a young child, but he hadn't seen that book in years now. Bending down to give his precious girl a feather-light kiss, Sully was filled with gratitude towards his wife. It never ceased to amaze him how she always seemed to know how to make their daughter feel safe. All of their children. He would never forget witnessing her and the Cooper children forming a family so many years ago.

After making sure Katie was asleep Michaela had helped Colleen to settle in her old room and, by the look of it, tucked her in like a baby as well. Sully swallowed hard seeing how child-like his older daughter looked curled up under the warm covers in her old bed.

Carefully so as not to startle Colleen Sully gently knelt down beside Michaela, who exhaustedly had fallen asleep on the hard chair next to Colleen's bed.

"Michaela," he softly whispered, gently rubbing her knee.

"Hmmm?" Groggily Michaela tried to orientate herself as she unwillingly started to wake.

"It's late Michaela. Time for bed," Sully kindly explained, blowing out the lamp and concernedly offering Michaela help to stand.

With some effort Michaela stiffly made it to her feet, but instead of leaving the room she was frozen in place, watching her sleeping daughter. Feeling Sully's strong arms embracing her from behind, she relaxed and trustfully leaned her head back against his shoulder. Quietly they stood there closely together, treasuring having their daughter safely at home.

"She looks so fragile," Michaela hoarsely whispered, pulling Sully's arms tighter around her, shivering as if being cold.

"Yeah, but she is strong," Sully reassuringly whispered in her ear, placing a soft kiss on the area just below. "And she won't be alone, we'll do this together," he softly added.

Feeling his wife nod against his shoulder, Sully gently began to steer her out of the room.

In the hallway, Michaela instinctively started towards Katie's room but was stopped by Sully.

"Just came from there. She's sleeping like an angel," he said, really wishing his wife would get some rest.

Knowing what's in Sully's heart, Michaela gave him an apologizing smile. "I just need to take a peek," she explained.

"Okay, I ought to check the fire downstairs and make sure our room is warm enough as well. It's really cold tonight," Sully gave in, knowing when the battle was lost. After squeezing Michaela's hand lovingly he headed for the stairs.

Peeking in through a small gap between the door and its frame, Michaela could clearly see that Sully was right. Their daughter indeed looked like a sleeping angel, and Michaela felt her heart warm at the sight. "Always stay safe my angel," she whispered in the dark before quietly closing the door.

On the way back to the master bedroom Michaela noticed light still coming from under Brian's door. Softly she knocked there and waited for a "yeah" before pushing it open.

"I saw the light… You are working?" she nodded towards the notepad naturally balancing on Brian's lap.

"Yeah," Brian shrugged his shoulders as if trying to shield himself, but his pained expression told the truth as he looked up. "Miss Dorothy asked me to write Mr. Bray's obituary for the Gazette."

"I'm sure he would have liked that," Michaela wistfully said, unable to suppress a grimace as she stiffly sat down next to her son on his bed.

"She said it was important not to make him come out dull," Brian added, questioningly gazing at his mother.

Michaela sat quietly for a while, thinking of Loren and how to explain to the young man.

"Did you find Mr. Bray boring?" she finally asked, thoughtfully eyeing her son.

"No." Brian replied, looking like he didn't even understand the question. "Then just write from here," Michaela advised, gently putting her hand over his heart, "and it will be perfect."

Quietly Brian skimmed over what he had written only to tear out the sheet and crease it into a little ball. He felt confused by his mother's words but at the same time they made perfect sense, and suddenly he felt ready for the assignment.

"I didn't have any time to tell you before but I want you to know how proud you made me today," Michaela seriously continued.

"Proud?" Brian doubtfully looked at his mother. "I screwed up. I couldn't even think… I… "

"You gave Loren exactly what he wanted. What he needed. I know it wasn't easy, that nothing has been lately, but you have handled it so well." Michaela paused to wipe away a tear. "Sometimes I can't believe that you are all grown up… "

"I don't feel very grown…"

Michaela gave her son a warm, knowing smile. "I don't think no one ever does," she wisely said. "And I for one love when I get a glimpse of my special little boy," she added with a wink, making it impossible for Brian to resist smiling.

Turing serious again, Michaela picked up the paper ball Brian had thrown between them and held it tightly in her hand. "I don't have the right to tell you all about Loren's life – nor do I believe that you need to know everything. You knew Loren and loved him for who he truly was. That's a gift you have Brian. The gift to see what's in people's hearts. Loren appreciated that, and that's the way he would want it to stay." She paused as if trying to weight the paper in her hand. "But I want you to know that your story, the one Loren asked for today, saved him all those years ago."

Brian looked totally confused.

"Your innocent words did what the rest of us had been unable to do, they saved him from himself. You gave him a reason to live," Michaela explained, gently putting the paper ball back on the bed.

"Ma?" Brian looked at Michaela with love-filled eyes.

"Yes?" Wondering, Michaela held his gaze.

"I missed you so much…" Brian closed the distance between them and fell into his mother's welcoming arms.

"I'm so glad that you are home, Brian. I'm so glad," Michaela mumbled through her tears.

* * *

"You are still up," Michaela remorsefully stated, but yet felt her heart warm as she realized Sully was waiting for her. Cross-legged he sat on the soft rug in front of the cozy fire in their bedroom, the flickering light reflecting on the rough skin on his face as he turned to give her a welcoming smile.

"I'm sorry. Brian was still up and I…" she began to apologize, but was cut off as Sully lithely got on his feet.

"I know," he said, pulling her into a loving embrace. Feeling her sway in his arms he worryingly eyed her.

"I'm just tired, Sully," she attempted to reassure him, suddenly feeling just how exhausted she really was.

"We better get you to bed then," Sully suggested, trying hard to control his worry while leading his wife to the bed. Ever so gently he helped her out of her dress and into a comfortable nightgown before tucking her in. Quietly he just sat on the edge of the bed, watching her beginning to doze off the minute her head connected with the pillow.

"Sully?" She groggily murmured, her hand fumbling over the empty space next to her where he normally would have laid, bringing him back to reality. Quickly he rounded the bed, crept under the covers and pulled her close.

"I'm here, Michaela," he softly whispered, inhaling the familiar scent of her hair. Even though he could tell by her breathing that she was fast asleep now he felt a strong urge to express his heart.

"I love you Michaela," he hoarsely whispered in the dark.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Tiredly Michaela slipped into her quiet office. It felt like it had been a far too long day and she just needed a few minutes alone to clear her head. The Reverend had held a truly beautiful service for Loren, and since the old store-keeper had been a well known face for many people in the area, the church had been filled to the limit. Afterwards there had been coffee and pie at Grace's for all the people.

Admitting defeat, Michaela run her fingers over the big bruise covering her jaw: There had been a lot of staring, a lot of whispering. Deep down both Colleen and she would have preferred to stay home and allow at least their visible injuries to heal in private, but this was Loren… And after all – a lot of people had already seen the bruises at their arrival. Being familiar with how news spread in town, she knew that the rest had learned about the injuries of mother and daughter by rumors.

Michaela sighed. Sully had been happy to take Colleen straight home after the service, and Brian had offered to accompany Katie after the gathering at the café. Matthew, who had ridden in just in time for the funeral, had confessed he had some work he desperately needed to catch up on. So did she.

Glancing at the pile of files that she had asked Rita to leave for her, Michaela slowly started to unpin the black hat from her hair. After learning more about James' work on Loren, she felt the strong urge to read the records of the rest of the patients he had seen during her absence. Taking a shaky breath, she walked up to the small mirror on the wall. Lost in thoughts she stood there, not even hearing the soft knock on the door.

"Michaela?" Hesitating, Dorothy opened the door and peeked in.

Embarrassed but yet relieved to see it was Dorothy who had caught her staring at herself, Michaela smiled as she turned to greet her friend.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Dorothy quietly joked as she closed the door behind her.

Still feeling her cheeks burn a little bit, Michaela gave her friend a crooked smile. "I was just thinking of what the years are doing to us," she confessed, settling behind the desk and gesturing for Dorothy to take a seat as well.

"Look who's talking," Dorothy dryly replied, pretending to be offended by the several years younger woman before her.

Having no trouble understanding her friend's dreary joke Michaela gave her friend a daring gaze.

"I'm going to be a grandma…" she reminded her, both joy and pure fear readable in her voice. "Grandma Quinn," she tasted the words, and then shook her head. "That's my mother, for heaven's sake!"

Seeing the expression on Michaela's face, Dorothy couldn't help but laugh even though she knew about the tragedy behind the situation. As sad as she had been losing Loren, Dorothy hadn't been able to suppress the worry after seeing her friends. Riding out to the Sully homestead the day before, she hadn't given up until she had Michaela telling her the awful truth.

"You won't be Grandma Quinn," Dorothy assured, placing a comforting hand on top of Michaela's. "You will be Granny Mike," she teased, laughter shining in her eyes, causing Michaela to laugh as well.

"Granny Mike…" Michaela repeated, playfully nodding her approval. "At least it sounds more like me."

"But being a grandma… doesn't that sound awfully old?" Michaela asked, skeptically raising her eyebrows.

"I don't know…" Dorothy pretended to really consider the issue. "I don't think being a grandma sounds so bad," she explained, putting on a very serious face. "But just imagine being married to a grandpa!"

Fooled by Dorothy's serious tone, Michaela stared at her friend a few seconds before finally getting the joke. Relaxed both of them leaned back on their seats, sharing a hearty giggle.

* * *

Trying to look as casual as possible Matthew kept his hands in his pockets as he walked down the muddy road back towards the cemetery. It had taken him several attempts to finally manage to slip away from the still lingering crowd of people at the Café. Most of them knew he had been the lawyer handling Mr. Bray's paperwork, and since the old store-keeper didn't really have any next of kin there was a lot of speculating going on. And those who didn't try to gain information regarding the possible Will kept trying to find out more about his mother and sister.

Inhaling the fresh mountain-air Matthew decided to put all those nosy faces behind him. He knew that he ought to be looking over Mr. Bray's papers for the opening of the Will the very next morning, but he just had to go and see Ingrid first. Stopping by her grave was normally the first thing he did when he arrived in town, but there had been no time for that today. In addition, the graveyard had been too crowded after Loren's funeral. Yet his time with Ingrid was private – it had to be. He was well aware of people's – even his own family's - worry regarding what they seemed to consider his obsession with his long lost fiancée. Hell, of course he knew she had been dead for years now and that he ought to move on. He even had once: with Emma, but he hadn't been ready back then– luckily none of them had. How could it be right to move on to the future when he hadn't made up yet with the past? Suddenly he felt an even greater urge to reach Ingrid's grave and quickened his peace.

"Matthew?"

Startled, Matthew jumped at the unexpected voice. Turning around he realized he had been too deep in thought to notice he had walked straight past the reverend.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Reverend! I didn't see you!" he apologized, taking a few steps back towards the blind man.

"On your way to visit Ingrid?" the reverend knowingly asked, giving the younger man a kind smile.

"Yeah," Matthew reluctantly admitted, prepared to receive the usual confrontation or the pity-look, but the rev simply nodded. Thoughtfully he just stood there, leaning on his stick.

"True love is precious," he finally said.

Confused, Matthew eyed the clearly depressed man before him, and suddenly he realized how old the reverend had become. He had always just been the same old reverend to him; a never changing safe corner stone, but at this moment he noticed that the once so thick brown hair had turned almost completely gray, and that the familiar face was filled with deep tired lines. Mr. Bray's death seemed to have left him dangerously empty inside, and only now did Matthew realize how lonely the old man standing before him actually was. A chill travelled down his spine as he recognized his own future, and for the first time he truly understood Dr. Mike's deep worry regarding his hesitating about moving on. And he also clearly saw just how much Mr. Bray and the reverend must have meant to each other. The two men had somehow found a way to be lonely together.

"I was just going to check on my old room in the church," the clergyman finally broke the silence, his blind eyes staring past Matthew not knowing where to direct them. "I mean, with Loren gone I guess it's time for me to move back…"

"You don't… I mean… There is no reason to hurry." Matthew nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I'm sure it will all work out. I'll be opening the Will tomorrow and after that you can decide what to do."

Slowly nodding the reverend gave Matthew a strained smile. "Yes, but I really got no reason to stay there without Loren." He grew quiet for a moment. "I better let you go now," he added, touching his hat for a goodbye.

Standing there Matthew watched the older man feeling his way towards the church and disappearing inside. Eventually he turned and continued towards his goal. Passing Mr. Bray's fresh grave next to those of his wife and daughter, Matthew briefly stopped lifting his hat. Standing there, something caught his attention from the corner of his eye. He froze.

Lying on the one grave he knew the best – on Ingrid's grave, there was the form of a body. He couldn't breathe. Even from the distance he could see a wisp of straight blonde hair against the cold ground. Hair that had filled his dreams for so many years. Hair he would know anywhere. Ingrid's hair.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"DR. MIKE!"

Still holding the medical chart she had been reading, Michaela jumped up and ran to the window as she heard Matthew's panicked voice from outside.

"DR. MIKE!"

It only took one glance at her son who was running down the street, carrying a lifeless form, for her to react. Tossing the file on the table she ran towards the entrance.

"Matthew?" Out of breath she made it just in time to open the door for her son and his obviously precious burden.

"You got to help her! Oh God, please, you got to help her," Matthew desperately begged as he burst inside.

"What…" Michaela started but completely lost her ability to speak as she saw the girl lying in Matthew's arms. Removing her hand from the girl's arm as if she had been burned, it actually took her a second to function again.

"Over here!" she instructed, leading the way towards the closest examination room.

"Oh Rita, good that you are here!" Michaela exclaimed, seeing the ever so reliable nurse hurrying through the door. "I need you to assist me," she continued while helping Matthew to place the girl on the table.

"What happened?" she asked, relieved to at least find a faint pulse on the young girl's neck.

"I don't know; I just found her lying there! On the grave. I… Oh God! You got to save her, Ma!" Matthew managed to get out, shock written all over his face.

"I need you to wait outside, Matthew," Michaela ordered, already working on unbuttoning the patient's damp coat.

"I can't! I can't just leave her!" Matthew heatedly objected, refusing to move.

Looking up, Michaela was met by the same heart wrenching expression that had hunted her for all those years. Taking a few fast steps towards her son, Michaela grabbed him by the shoulders, almost shaking him. "It's not her, Matthew! You know that! It's not Ingrid!"

Breaking free, Matthew wildly stared at his mother, tears running down his cheeks unrestrained, before he abruptly turned and rushed out.

* * *

"Matthew?" Michaela softly asked, finally stepping out of the examination room but stopped short as she realized that the waiting-area was filled with friends and curious townsfolk.

"Dr. Mike?" Matthew was instantly on his feet, closing the distance between them with two long strides. "Is she…?" He couldn't bring himself to finish the question.

Having her son's pale face only inches before her, Michaela could even smell the fear radiating from his very being.

"No," she quickly assured, putting a calming hand on his upper arm. "But she hasn't come to yet," she quietly added, well aware of all the observing eyes and listening ears surrounding them.

"Can I see her?"

Unable to resist Matthew's pleading gaze, Michaela tiredly nodded, and opened to door just enough for him to squeeze through.

"I will be with you shortly," she said, gently closing the door behind him before turning back to face the rest of the waiting people. Hesitant about how much to actually tell, Michaela subconsciously allowed the fingers of her right hand to travel down her face, until they rested on the neckline of her black dress, while taking in the familiar faces before her.

"Who is she?" Impatiently, Jake voiced the question all of the gathered people wanted to be answered.

"I don't know." Michaela helplessly shook her head.

"But it isn't…?" Obviously embarrassed Jake grew quiet, realizing how silly his question must have sounded, but the room stayed deadly silent. All the eyes were focused on the doctor whilst the crowd breathlessly waited for the answer. However, deep down they all knew that what they thought was impossible.

"Of course not!" Michaela replied with confidence and a strength she didn't really feel. "Don't be ridiculous. You know as well as I do that it's not possible," she continued, crossing her arms over her chest sternly glaring at the barber.

"What's wrong with her?" Everyone turned hearing Grace's concerned voice from the back of the room.

Searching her friend's dark eyes Michaela once again shook her head. "I'm not sure yet," she replied. "And you know I wouldn't be allowed to tell you much even if I could," she continued in an apologizing tone, her eyes begging Grace not to be hurt.

"Just what do you know then, Doc?" Hank's scratchy voice asked.

Irritated, Michaela glared at the longhaired bartender who was lazily leaning against the wall next to Jake. A teasing smirk was on his face and an unlit cigar nonchalantly dangled from the corner of his mouth, slightly affecting his speech. She knew he had kept it there just to provoke her, but as long as he didn't light it she decided to let it go, not wishing to be tricked into a new argument regarding smoking inside the hospital.

"Hank…" she tiredly started, but then decided against taking the bait and waste energy on arguing with someone like him. "I'm sorry but I really need to get back to my patient now," she apologized, addressing everyone but the smirking bartender. "We won't know more until she wakes up."

Much to her relief people slowly started to walk off, but just as she was about to re-enter the examination room she felt a soft touch on her arm. Turning around she was met by Grace's warm eyes.

"That poor girl…" Grace whispered, full of compassion. "I will bring you something to eat. And you just let me know if there is anything you need, you hear?"

"Thank you, Grace," Michaela gratefully replied before her dear friend turned around and hurried to fulfill her mission.

"Michaela…" Dorothy showed up before her, taking the doctor's hands in her own. Silently standing there for a few seconds, Dorothy wordlessly offered her friend both comfort and reassurance that Michaela so desperately needed.

"Dr Mike?" Their little moment was broken by the Reverend, who felt his way towards them. "I will pray for the girl. I will pray for all of you," he promised as he reached the two women.

"Thank you, Reverend," Michaela said, gently patting his hand to show the blind man her gratitude.

"Is there anything I can do?" Dorothy asked, sensing that Michaela needed to get back into the room, but not really wanting to let her go just yet.

The doctor shook her head.

"How is Matthew holding up?" Dorothy worriedly eyed her friend, and the Reverend seemed to hold his breath waiting for the answer.

"He is shocked as you might understand, but I'm sure he will be fine," Michaela evenly replied, really not wishing to have this conversation.

"That poor thing! When I saw him rushing down the street like that – with her in his arms… I swear, for a second I truly thought it was…" Seeing her friend's facial expression, Dorothy grew quiet. Slightly embarrassed she cleared her throat. "Don't you think we ought to wire John?"

Closing her eyes Michaela slowly shook her head. "I thought about that too," she admitted, "but we don't really know anything at this point. I would prefer if we wait and give her a chance to wake up and so she can make these decisions for herself."

The Reverend thoughtfully agreed, but Dorothy's face held a strange mix of understanding and disappointment. Knowing her friend, Michaela was certain the latter was caused by both wanting to be helpful and the strong urge to find a great story. But she also knew that Dorothy had learned over the years to actually respect her wishes.

"I will just do some inconspicuous research then," Dorothy reluctantly agreed, quickly adding that she would look for clues in nearby magazines.

"That would be really helpful," Michaela smiled, politely trying to end the conversation.

"It has been a long day, would you mind walking me back to the store?" As so very often, the blind Reverend was the one seeing most clearly, and now he held out his arm for Dorothy.

"Certainly," Dorothy instantly replied, and both of them – each happy to be useful – finally made their way down the hallway.

Just as Michaela reached for the door knob she felt it twist from the inside, and a second later Rita's neat head peeked out.

"Is the coast clear?" she heartily joked.

"It's just us for now," Michaela replied with a tired but genuine smile.

"I thought we all could use some strong coffee," the nurse explained, carefully closing the door to the examination room behind her.

Rita determindedly started down the hall towards the small kitchen. They didn't really prepare any food at the hospital; all meals were delivered from the café, but they still had a cozy little room for preparing simple things and to sit down and talk.

Worriedly, Rita glanced back over her shoulder. She hadn't lived in Colorado Springs for much more than two years, and she had no idea of who the patient was or what had just happened. She only knew that the girl lying on the examination table had a deep emotional effect on the doctor and her son and that her appearance seemed to have set the entire town on fire. Shaking her head she tried to focus on the task to make them some really strong coffee. God knew that poor Mr. Cooper could really need it; he truly looked as if he had seen a ghost.

Once again Rita told herself to focus on the coffee, but her mind kept traveling back to the new patient. Not that she knew Matthew Cooper that well, but he had always seemed to be a highly balanced and calm person, not like the anguish-filled, almost child-like young man staring at the girl a few rooms away. And Dr. Mike! Never had she seen the doctor react the way she had as she saw her son and the girl.

Sighing, Rita filled three generous cups to bring them back to the room while sending up a silent prayer for everything to be all right. Not only for the poor girl, but also for the so clearly hurting young man, and for the doctor whom she had come to consider a very dear friend. Rita had never thought she would ever find that kind of happiness as she had in Colorado Springs. Working with Michaela Quinn was nothing like her former experiences.

Rita had grown up as the oldest child of a working class family in New York. She had never been what most people would call pretty, and while all her sisters got married she remained alone and finally attended a nursing-school. She had spent over twenty years working at a hospital in her home town, living with her parents and renting a small but homey room after their death. She had always been on her own but never really minded it. She had seen firsthand how bad husbands treated their wives far too often, and she had told herself that living alone was her way of being free. Free? Was she really free? Not that she hadn't enjoyed nursing the sick - she had, but she had worked with numerous of different doctors during the years. Some of them had barely been dry behind their ears, but all wanted to be the star – and all of them enjoyed being her boss. Then one day she had ended up in the cross-fire between two of them, and in the end she'd been sacrificed in order to cover up their mistakes. So she suddenly found herself – a gray-haired, forty-seven years old, big-boned woman - standing on the street with a single bag by her feet and nowhere to go. It was then that she had found that advertisement in the newspaper. Dr. Michaela Quinn in Colorado Springs. The Wild West. It had scared her half to death, but she had used her last pennies to send a telegram, and only a few hours later she had received a reply. The doctor had even agreed to pay for her ticket.

Never would she forget the feeling when the train came to a halt in Colorado Springs. It had been springtime, and she had truly started to enjoy the views outside the train windows. Yet stepping out of the train, not even the fresh mountain air could ease her nervous nausea. Looking around the busy platform she tried to determine who the lady doctor might be. She had tried to picture the woman in her mind several times during the long journey, but she still had no idea.

The platform had slowly started to empty, but there was still no one that tried to contact her, and Rita truly began to fear this all had just been some kind of a cruel mistake. How could she have been so stupid to believe there actually was a lady doctor running a hospital of her own out here at the frontier? Picking up her worn bag she hesitatingly walked up to the nearby telegram office.

"Can I help you, Ma'am?"

She found herself looking into a pair of friendly but squinted dark eyes. The man appeared tall but hunched, and she caught herself wondering if he really was all there.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a Dr. Quinn," Rita shyly answered, dreading the reply. But much to her surprise the man gave her a kind smile.

"You're the new nurse?" he asked, eyeing her curiously.

"Yes I am," Rita confirmed, instantly feeling the big knot in her stomach loosen somewhat. "Rita Hayes," she added, extending her right hand.

"Horace Bing." Clumsily the man had leaned out of the window and somewhat shyly taken her hand. "I'm sure Dr. Mike must have gotten held up," he said, leaning out as far as he could eagerly scanning the area. Suddenly his face broke into a wide smile. "There is Sully for you," he announced, pointing to a long-haired man in leather clothes walking towards them.

"Sully!" the telegram operator friendly greeted the man as he got closer.

"Horace." The roughly looking man nodded to the operator before turning his attention to Rita.

"This is Miss Hayes," Horace proudly started the introduction. "Miss Hayes, this is Sully."

Totally in shook Rita had just stood there staring at the man before her. She felt her pulse rise. Was he some kind of Indian? She had read about them but never had she seen one in real life.

"Michaela apologizes for keeping you waiting – she got held up with an unexpected childbirth," the roughly looking man politely apologized, ignoring her obvious staring.

"I'm sorry. I just haven't ever met a real Indian before," Rita finally had managed to stutter, nervously offering her hand.

An amused grin spread over the man's face as he accepted her hand. "Sorry to disappoint you, Ma'am, but I ain't no Indian. I'm Sully – Dr. Quinn's husband."

As much as to Rita's surprise as to her relief the man didn't seem at all offended by her mistake. Picking up her bag, he just kindly nodded in the direction from which he had come. "Michaela thought you might be hungry; would ya like to go to Grace's or do you wanna go directly to the hospital and wait for her?"

Sure Rita had been hungry and the strange man had really seemed to be nice, but she still hadn't been completely certain weather to trust him yet. Glancing at the telegraph operator, Rita saw no sign on his face that he thought it unfitting for her to follow the man, but still she had found herself shaking her head. Offering him what she had attempted to make a brave smile she had thanked him for his consideration but that she would prefer going directly to the hospital.

It was weird; she recalled that day as if it had been yesterday, yet it also felt like she had been here her entire life. Rita clearly remembered how nervous she had been walking beside Sully that day. Meeting him hadn't exactly made her less curious about meeting the doctor, and she would never forget her surprise the minute she actually saw her. Stepping out of a room while drying her hands on a white towel and with a welcoming smile on her beautiful face, Dr Michaela Quinn had been nothing like she had imagined. Even in a simple dress and working apron, the woman radiated class and a unique mix of heart and brain. Rita had never met a lady doctor before, but this was not what she had expected. And she had become even more surprised when the doctor friendly invited her to a home-cooked meal. Never before had she met such a doctor. Never before had she felt more at home.

Sadly smiling at her memory, Rita would never forget the sight that had met her as Dr Mike and she finally walked into the Sully homestead that day. Never would she have expected to find the roughly looking man and a young copy of the lady doctor preparing dinner together, and how easily the doctor had slid out of her leather coat and was lovingly greeted by her husband and daughter and then joyfully joined them by the stove. Seeing the family before her Rita had felt her own heart twitch. For the first time she hadn't been able to deny her own loneliness.

"Sully!" Seeing her husband burst through the entrance door, Michaela finally allowed herself to let go. Hastily she met him half way and ran into his open arms.

"Michaela?" Feeling his wife's strong distress Sully held her in a tight embrace. "You okay? Robert E came out and got me…"

Michaela nodded against his safe chest before breaking the physical contact enough to look up into his blue eyes. "Seeing Matthew with her… Oh God, Sully! It was like seeing him loosing Ingrid all over again," she sobbed.

Comforting, Sully pulled her close again and just held her for a while. "You know who she is?" he finally asked, deep concern coloring his low voice.

"No, but she looks just like her…" Michaela mumbled into his shirt.

Understanding how painful this must have been for Matthew, Sully swallowed hard. "Will she be okay?"

"I think so, but Sully-"Once again Michaela pulled away enough to make eye contact with her husband. "-she is pregnant…"

"Dr Mike! Ma!" Abruptly Michaela was cut off by Matthew's exited voice. "She's waking up, Ma! She's waking up!" the young man shouted before rushing back into the room.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"Dr Mike?" The girl whispered groggily as her blue eyes finally managed to focus on the woman leaning over her.

"You know my name?" Michaela softly asked while once again checking the girl's vitals.

Weakly but with visible relief the girl nodded. "You're Dr Mike," she stated before trying to get her bearings as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings. "Where am I and how did I get here?" she mumbled with lips that were painfully dry.

"Here Sweetheart, drink some water." Michaela gently offered, holding a glass to her patient's mouth.

Waiting until the girl had managed to swallow a sip of water Michaela took one of her hands in order to sooth her.

"You are in the hospital of Colorado Springs," she kindly began to explain. "Matthew found you at the graveyard and brought you here," she continued, gesturing towards her son who stood beside Sully a few feet away, white as a sheet.

"Matthew?" Curiously the girl stared at the younger man before her, her tired brain desperately trying to make sense of the image. Ingrid's Matthew? She hadn't recognized him. In her mind she saw the handsome young man who had taken every opportunity to sneak off with her oldest sister and who had smiled that charming half-smile every time they had been caught by her sisters and herself. She saw her hero, who had changed her entire family's lifes all those years ago. But most of all she remembered the way he had managed to make Ingrid smile. Meeting the man's eyes she finally saw it; the same pair of deeply pain-filled – almost wildly - staring eyes that had become her strongest memory from her beloved sister's funeral. The man had Matthew's eyes.

"Yeah." Matthew's voice was hoarse when he walked up to the bed and looked down at the girl who reminded him so much about his long lost fiancé.

"Then I made it," the girl whispered as she relaxed back against the pillow and tiredly closed her eyes.

"Wait!" Matthew couldn't take it anymore. "Who are you?"

The blue eyes opened again, taking in his desperate expression. "Greta," she said. "I'm Greta."

* * *

The air in the church was filled with tension when Michaela and Sully appeared in the doorway. All eyes followed their every movement as they walked into the crowded room.

Sully felt his hands sweating; he still didn't know what he was doing here. Sure, Loren had been family but Sully had absolutely no intention to go to the will-reading until Matthew had told him he really ought to be going. Once again he was deeply grateful for his beloved Michaela who, seemingly unaffected by the attention, gracefully moved towards the empty seats that Brian had saved for them next to Dorothy and himself, and all he had to do was trying to keep up with his wife.

Suddenly all the observing eyes sent his mind back to the first time Michaela and he had entered the church as a couple. It had been a town meeting regarding the awful drought and they had just arrived back from Boston. Never would he forget the pride, nervousness and joy he had felt walking into this building arm in arm with Michaela that day. Focusing on that memory he quietly made his way towards his waving son and the only still empty spots in the first row.

Sitting down next to her dear friend, Michaela took the older woman's hand in her own and received a small smile in return. Leaning over she also gave her youngest son a soft squeeze, silently communicating her love and support.

"How's Greta, Ma?" Brian asked, worriedly studying his tired mother.

Colleen had been resting and Katie and he were down by the creek when Robert E. rode up to get Sully. When they returned home there had only been a hastily written note for them saying that Sully had ridden to town to meet with their Ma and that they shouldn't wait for them. Not wanting to upset their little sister both Colleen and he had acted as if they thought nothing about it and stayed put, but none of the three siblings had actually been fooled. Neither of them turned in, and their worries were confirmed when Sully finally arrived back late that night – alone. Both Michaela and Matthew had decided to stay at the hospital.

"She is stable," Michaela softly replied, attempting to give her dear son a reassuring smile.

Brian was just about to ask about his brother but was cut off by the very same taking his place at the podium. Turning her attention to her eldest son, Michaela reached for her husband's hand, feeling his strong anxiety.

"Good morning," Matthew started in a professional manner, calm on the outside, instantly gaining all attention. "We have gathered here today to read the will of Mr. Loren Bray who lived in this town most of his long life. I would like to take the opportunity to tell you how much Mr. Bray meant to my family and me." Matthew paused and allowed his tired eyes to wander over the crowded room. "Mr. Bray was a highly respected man, and I am sure that he's going to be deeply missed by both his friends and customers." Matthew paused again and swallowed hard. He was used to such situations, but for once he found it difficult to stay professional and focused – not only had he been up all night but this was not just a client. This was Mr. Bray.

"Mrs. Dorothy Jennings." Matthew sought the familiar eyes in the crowd. Seeing her tense posture, he offered her a reassuring smile but kept his words professional. "It was Mr. Bray's wish for you to have all that remained of his ownership of the Gazette," he gently started.

Hearing her son's words and knowing how much it meant to her dear friend, Michaela once again gave her hand a supporting squeeze.

"He also wanted you to feel free to choose memory items among his personal belongings as well as from his earlier deceased wife and daughter."

Finally Dorothy managed to relax. Leaning back against the wooden seat she allowed a single tear to escape her redlined eyes, and her lips silently formed a genuine, "Thank you Loren."

"Reverend Timothy Johnson," Matthew continued, turning his attention towards the gray-haired man who sat next to a family whose name Matthew didn't remember. He couldn't help but silently sigh; this will-reading had clearly become _the_ social event of the year.

"Yes," the Reverend confirmed. He stiffly leaned forward, both hands resting on top of his white cane, his unseeing eyes looking blankly straight ahead.

"Mr. Bray has been very clear in his will that you are free to stay in your room, no matter who runs the store."

Seeing a tiny smile on the older man's lip, Matthew knew that he recognized the deep care behind Loren's gesture. "He also wants you to know there is a bible written in Braille for you lying in his bedroom. He bought it years ago, but since he really enjoyed reading with you he never gave it to you."

A hearty giggle spread among the crowd at this confession, and the Reverend, moved to tears, couldn't help but join in.

"Mr. Bray also leaves 100 dollars for you to use in the behalf of the church," Matthew concluded, once again causing a reaction among the crowd.

"There has been a trust fund set up for the college education of his granddaughter," Matthew paused and sought the eyes of his parents, not caring about the animated whispering that the _granddaughter_ announcement had caused, before he softly continued, "Miss Katherine Sully."

Moved to tears Michaela almost choked on a loud sob that rose her throat. Feeling Sully's strong arm around her, being pulled against his warm side, she didn't have to look to know that there were the same tears glistening in his eyes. It wasn't that they didn't know about the deep connection between Loren and their children, but to hear him clarify it like this still made it very powerful.

"For his grandson, Mr. Brian Cooper," Matthew smiled towards his younger brother, "Mr. Bray wishes to leave his horse and buggy, his gun and his fishing pole." Not sure what to think of that, Brian felt a huge mix of feelings rush throw his body. Pride for being Loren's grandson, love for the fishing pole, understanding the great value of receiving such a fine horse and buggy, but the gun? Why would Mr. Bray leave him his gun?

Turning his attention back to Dr. Mike's already tearstained face, Matthew once again was filled with gratitude for having this wonderful woman in his and his sibling's life. "The remaining 200 dollars of Mr. Bray's savings, as well as everything that is left of his belongings, he wishes to benefit Dr. Michaela Quinn's work to care for this town."

Once again whispering filled the room as everyone felt the strong urge to voice their reactions. Shocked, Michaela stared at her oldest son, trying to comprehend what he had just said. Seeing the supporting smile on Matthew's face and feeling the loving embrace of her husband she finally came to terms with the great gift she had just received – the valuable gift of acknowledgement. Turning her head slightly she was met by the genuine smiles of Dorothy and Brian.

"Last but not least we finally come to Mr. Bray's well founded business, Bray's Mercantile," the sound of Matthew's voice caused the voices to die out as everyone curiously waited for the name of the inheritor.

Bray's Mercantile was important to the town; a natural meeting-place, and even though it wasn't the only way anymore to get groceries in Colorado Springs it was without a doubt the one that meant the most. Surprisingly enough, it had become the place where no one was ever turned down.

"The mercantile is left to Mr. Bray's son-in-law, Mr. Byron Sully."

Deadly silence followed these words, and Sully felt his body shut down. He couldn't breathe because suddenly, the crowded church choked him. Impetuously he straightened from his seat. He felt Michaela reach for him, heard her say his name, but all he could think was that he had to get out. He needed air to breathe.

And so he ran.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Even though Brian had been as gentle as he could possibly have been, his heart ached as he saw his mother's tightly clenched jaw and the way she held her breath when he assisted her down from the wagon. "You okay?" He worriedly eyed her.

Stalling for time while catching her breath, Michaela only nodded.

"You want me to go?" Brian offered.

Michaela shook her head. "No, I need to do it," she softly responded.

Doubtfully Brian looked around. They weren't far from town but it already seemed as if only forest was around them. No human signs at all.

"You're sure he's here?" he asked, even though he deep down knew he had no reasons to doubt his mother's ability to sense Sully. It was just that she looked so fragile, and he just felt a very strong urge to protect her.

"I will be fine." Knowing her son's pure heart, Michaela couldn't help but smile. "You don't have to wait for me; I can walk back. This will probably take a while."

"No, I will wait," Brain assured, holding out her medical bag for her to take it.

"Thank you Brian," Michaela smiled before disappearing into the woods, apparently absolutely sure about the direction.

* * *

"Sully?" Michaela almost felt her heart stop seeing her husband's familiar form curled up on the ground. Recognizing the way he held his head she instantly knew what was wrong.

"Michaela…" he mumbled, love and gratitude shining in his eyes as he peered up at his beautiful Heartsong while shielding his eyes from the sunlight.

"Oh Sully…" For a second Michaela forgot all about her own injuries and rushed towards her husband, squatting down next to him, the pain almost making it impossible to breathe.

"Michaela?..." Worriedly Sully tried to sit, but was stopped by Michaela's calming hand on his shoulder, silently reassuring him that she was okay.

"Here, this should make you feel better," she finally managed to say, picking up a small bottle from her medical bag.

Holding his head tightly against her chest, she lovingly helped him to digest the bitter liquid.

Allowing his head to rest back in Michaela's lap, Sully felt his body start to relax by the feather light touch of her delicate fingers against his scalp. Feeling the drug begin to relieve his head but in the process making his eyelids all the heavier, he lost track of how much time had passed when he heard Michaela's soft voice again.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Michaela had watched the tense lines in his face finally relax, and at the same time she felt the ache in her own heart ease.

Still letting her fingers play with his soft curls that she loved to much, she smiled when he tiredly opened one of his blue eyes and peeked at her.

"Not really… this's nice…" he murmured as he reached up and lovingly stroked her soft cheek.

"How did you find me?" he asked, trying hard to make his brain think again.

Letting her eyes wander over the familiar scenery Michaela's face put on a dreamy expression. "You escaped here once before, remember?" She softly teased, giving him a playful look.

Nodding Sully closed his eyes again. Before him he saw Michaela coming towards him; her long brown hair flying freely behind her. He swallowed hard. He had never completely told her about the vision that day. Opening his eyes he smiled back at her.

"I remember," he replied, his voice hoarse with emotions. Sitting up on his knees, he gently cupped her face with his hands and kissed her with the same intensity as he had that day all those years ago. The day he had finally asked her to be his wife.

Not wanting the magical moment to end but regretfully knowing she was running out of time, Michaela pulled back slightly giving her husband a teasing grin. "Feeling better, are you?" Her voice was low and seducing.

"Uhuhm," Sully admitted. "But I still need my doctor," he tried, attempting to steel another kiss.

Leaning her forehead against his, Michaela took a deep calming breath.

"Are you upset with Loren leaving you the store because how he tried used it against Abigail and you when you got married?" she gently pressed, knowing that Sully needed to get it off of his chest.

Pulling back, Sully seated himself cross-legged, his eyes focusing on something far, far away.

Fearing he was going to withdraw from her again, Michaela felt a chill running down her spine, but deciding to give him space she remained silent.

"Partly I guess, yeah," Sully finally admitted, his eyes still far away.

Michaela waited.

"He really hurt her ya know… shutting her out like that…"

It tore Michaela's heart apart as she watched his distant eyes beginning to glisten with tears.

"I never wanted it, you know – not then, not now." Finally he allowed his hurt-filled blue eyes to meet Michaela's again.

"I know," Michaela comforted, feeling such relief for Sully finally letting her in. "It isn't just the arguments in the past, is it?" she gently pressed.

Thoughtfully Sully shook his head. "Sometimes I think you know me better than I do myself," he said offering her a devoted half-smile.

"You feel Loren is trying to make you someone you are not?" Michaela eyed him seriously.

"Yeah," Sully hoarsely admitted, with an almost hollow laugh. "I guess I feel trapped," he confessed, giving her an apologizing look. "I feel he is trying to make me the guy he always wished I'd be."

Hearing the deep sorrow in her husband's voice and knowing how vulnerable he was at this moment Michaela couldn't take their physical distance any longer. Edging closer she pulled him into a protecting embrace, feeling him relax and gaining his strength back as he rested against her.

"You ever stopped to consider that this was Loren's way to make amends?" Michaela gently asked, knowing she had Sully's full attention and knowing he would be ready to hear her out. "He lost the chance to make peace with Abigail, his only child, and that was something he had to live with every day for the rest of his life…" Her voice was low and unsteady with emotions. "If Abigail would have been alive; don't you think he would have given the store to her?"

Michaela felt the fabric of her blouse become wet as she held his head tightly against her chest, finally allowing all his bottled up emotions to come out.

"Matthew asked me to give this to you," she said pulling out a white envelop from her coat pocket when she felt his breathing return to normal. Surprised, Sully looked up, drying his face with his sleeve.

"It's from Loren," Michaela explained holding it towards him.

"You read it?" Sully asked, hesitatingly reaching out to accept it.

"No, it's for you," she gently shook her head and patiently watched how he slowly opened the envelop and took out a quite short letter.

"You're sure you didn't read it?" Sully heartily joked as he finally looked up from the letter, a new peace on his face.

"Of course not! I would never…" Michaela started to defend herself, but was cut off by Sully laughingly reaching her the letter. "I was only trying to say you were right," he smiled.

"You see! He knew the store wasn't for you, but still he trusted you to do what you thought would be right with it," she exclaimed, looking up from the neatly written letter. Love and happiness were shining in her beautiful eyes.

"Yeah," Sully admitted, "but I still don't know what to do with it… I could never work there…"

"There are many options, and it's nothing that you need to decide right now," Michaela assured, calmingly squeezing his shoulder.

"Thank you, Michaela." Seriously Sully looked straight into her unique eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without ya, and I'm grateful every day for not having to find out. I love ya, Michaela Quinn."

"I love you too, Sully," she smiled through her tears, love blazing in her eyes as she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Come on Silly," she joked, starting to get back on her feet. "Brian is waiting for us by the road and I need to get back to check on Greta."

Instantly on his feet, Sully gently helped her to stand. "Whatever you say, Doctor," he grinned as they started off hand in hand.

Suddenly the peaceful silence was broken by Michaela having a quite uncharacteristic giggle attack. Curiously Sully eyed her. "What?" he suspiciously demanded.

"Nothing…" Michaela tried, but was still unable to keep a straight face.

"Nothing, huh..." Sully grinned at her expectantly.

"I just… I just…" she burst into giggling again. "I just had a vision of you dusting shelves wearing Loren's apron…" she laughed, trying to make a run for it, but was instantly caught by one of Sully's strong arms around her waist.

"Hey!" He started tickling her trying to make her take it back.

"Ma?" Hearing Brian's worried voice they broke apart, looking like two children caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Glancing at each other they couldn't help but laugh again.

"Yes Brian!" Michaela finally managed to call. "I'm fine, Sweetheart, and we will be right with you!"


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

Brian smiled to himself as he thoughtfully stood brushing the little brown horse. Being gone for so long he hadn't even realized how much he missed this: calmly clearing his head while caring for the horses and cleaning the barn at the homestead. Amused he shook his head while tenderly stroking the little mare's soft fur – he also hadn't realized just how small Taffy actually was.

"You missed her…" Brian jumped hearing Katie's quiet statement behind him, and turning around he was surprised to find her curled up on one of the stall-fences.

"Katie!" he exclaimed, smiling at his little sister. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I crept in," she simply stated. "Cloud Dancing taught me."

Brian thoughtfully eyed her. He hadn't gotten used to it yet at just how big she had become since he last saw her. It almost felt unreal that this young lady before him was the same kid to whom he so reluctantly waved goodbye a few years earlier. They had been so close, and even though she'd been extremely happy to see him he felt that there was something that shielded her from him. Her eyes seemed to have a darker shade of blue than he remembered, and now he could clearly see a deep sadness reflecting in them.

"He taught you well," Brian replied, continuing stroking the soft fur while carefully considering how to approach his beloved sister.

"You're mad at me Katie?" he suddenly blurted out, holding his breath while waiting for her response.

"No…"

Hearing her quiet answer, he slowly turned to study her face. "You are not mad at me for leaving?" he gently asked, remembering Colleen's words when he had voiced his concerns to his older sister earlier that day. "I was mad at Matthew you know, when he grew up. I thought he didn't want me around anymore, but that wasn't so," he confessed while continuing eyeing his sister, and for a second he was sure he had seen a glimpse of the old kid before she once again had her guard back up.

"I'm not mad," she stubbornly insisted, but still avoided meeting his eyes.

"One day not far from now it will be your turn to feel the need to spread your wings and see the world. But know this Katie; no matter how many miles we have between us you will always be my sister and I will always love you." With these words he had hit home. Jumping down from the fence, she ran up to him and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "I missed you, Brian," she snuffled.

"I missed you to, Katie," Brian smiled. "I missed you so much."

"You want her back now?" Taking a step back while using the sleeve to wipe her nose, Katie had finally mustered the courage to ask the question that had been wearing on her ever since she had first learnt Brian was coming home.

"What?" Brian had absolutely no idea what his younger sister meant.

"Taffy – you want her back?" Katie asked, anxiously watching Brian who stood with his hand lingering on the little mare.

Suddenly it all came clear, and Brian couldn't hide an amused smile. "You thought I was going to take your horse?" he asked.

Seeing how hard this was for her he tried to keep a straight face but didn't quite succeed. "So that's what's been bothering you?" he teased.

"No! But I… I just wanted to know," Katie defended herself, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Calmingly putting one hand on her shoulder, Brian gave her a reassuring smile. "You have done a great job taking care of her and even though I will always treasure Taffy, I now consider her to be yours."

"Really?" Katie wasn't completely sure yet to believe that.

"Yeah," Brian confirmed. "Don't you think she's a bit small for me?" he playfully added.

Unable to hide a huge smile Katie once again rushed forward to hug her brother, only releasing him in order to throw her arms around the pony's neck and to give her a big kiss on the nose.

Brian laughed seeing the pure happiness in his little sister's face.

"Besides – I found out Mr. Bray left me his horse today. What would you say if we pick it up and go for a ride tomorrow?"

"Supper is ready." Both of them jumped hearing Sully's voice from the door.

"Pa! Did you hear? Brian gave her to me!" Katie practically bounced up to her father, giving him an exited hug. "Oh, I can't believe it! Taffy is really mine", she happily chattered while running back once again throwing her arms around the pony's neck.

"Brian is a good brother," Sully calmly responded, giving his son a proud smile. "Why don't you run up and see if Colleen is awake?" he asked Katie. Both men watched the girl giving Taffy a last kiss before quickly taking off towards the house, eager about getting to tell her sister the great news.

"A good brother and a good son," Sully said walking up to Brian, affectionly patting the young man's back who was taller now than he. "Remember the first time Matthew helped you up in her saddle?" he thoughtfully asked.

"Yeah," Brian smiled. "Guess I've grown a little since then," he joked, walking up patting the little mare's neck.

"Yeah," Sully quietly nodded. "You've grown up to be quite some man," he sincerely added, while also walking up to the small pony. Putting one hand on the well groomed bum he made eye contact with Brian. "I just wanted to say I'm proud of you, Son – not only for what you just did for Kates but also for helping your Ma today. I'm sorry I took off like that."

"No worries, Pa," Brian said slightly embarrassed but also happy for his father's words. "You know I was happy to do it."

"Still – I'm grateful – just wanted you to know that," Sully clarified, allowing his hand to rest against Taffy's brown fur. "I was thinking Brian – I mean I know your work, your life is in Boston and all, but if you wanted to stay around you could have the rooms above the store."

Brian just stared at Sully. "What about the Reverend? It's his home!" he asked astonished.

"Of course he can stay if he wants to, but Matthew seems to believe he wants to move out," Sully explained.

Brian grew quiet and Sully could tell he didn't know how to react. "You don't have to make any decisions right now– I just want you to know it's yours if you want it."

"I don't know what to say…" Brian hesitated. "It's too much, Sully – even if I were to stay here I couldn't just take it," he said shaking his head.

Raising his hand, Sully calmly put an end to the discussion. "Just know your options, Son. You would actually do me a favor."

"You said something about dinner?" Brian joked, starting towards the door.

"Yeah, nothing fancy I'm afraid," Sully teased, "I don't do that European stuff you have been writing to your Ma about."

Brian laughed. "As long as it stays down," he playfully offered, speeding up towards the familiar house he would forever call his home.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

"Michaela?" On the verge of surrendering to slumber with her head lying on the heavy book spread open on her tidy desk, Michaela was startled wide awake by her husband's unexpected voice, and was instantly on her feet ready for action.

"Sully?" she asked, exhaustion written on her pale face. "Did something happen? The children? Greta?"

Reassuringly Sully shook his head while walking over to his wife. "Na, they are fine. Just wanted to come here and check on you and Matthew. And Greta of course," he explained as he gently started to massage her tense shoulders.

"I guess I must have fallen asleep – you scared me half to death walking in like that…" she confessed, willing her aching body to relax against her husband's soft hands.

"Didn't mean to," Sully regretfully apologized, "just missed you. You haven't been home for 3 days now. You must be bone-tired."

"I'm sorry Sully; I just haven't wanted to leave Greta…" Michaela guiltily explained, turning to face her husband.

"Has she taken a turn for the worse?" Sully worriedly asked.

Now it was Michaela's turn to shake her head. "No, she is getting stronger by the day. Matthew is sitting with her right now – he has barely left her side. It's just that she won't tell us anything and she refuses for us to contact John or anyone of her sisters…" Her tired eyes shone with worry. "I just want to make sure she is really stabile before I leave…"

"You will do no one any good if you don't take care of yourself," Sully begged. "Can't James take over for the night?" he gently suggested.

"No." Forcefully she shook her head, "I can't leave her now. She might need me… and…"

"Michaela" Sully reached out and took a soft but steady grip on her shoulders, turning her around so she really faced him. Seeing he had her full attention he lowered his voice. "Is this about Ingrid?"

"Sully…" Michaela denied, trying to get out of his firm grip and away from his knowing blue eyes.

"She is not Ingrid," Sully softly stated, knowing he had to get into her inner tumult. "This won't bring her back, you know," he pressed, strongly feeling he had to force down her walls while truly hating himself for doing it as he saw tears beginning to rise in the eyes he loved so dearly.

"I know that," Michaela finally managed to whisper, closing her eyes in an attempt to shield herself from the blue ones that always seemed to see straight through her soul. "I know she isn't Ingrid, and I know nothing I do can ever bring Ingrid back," she continued. Heavy tears rolled down her cheeks as she slowly opened up her pain-filled eyes again, trusting him to come in. "When she died I didn't just fail as a doctor – I failed as mother," she sobbed. "I couldn't save her," she managed to get out through muffled sobs burying her face against her husband's strong chest as he desperately pulled her into a protecting embrace. "I couldn't save Ingrid, and I couldn't save Matthew…"

Softly rocking her shaking body, Sully held her with all the love he had, willing to give his life to just ease her pain. "You didn't fail Michaela," he hoarsely whispered. "We all lost her that day," he confessed. "I should never have kept Pup in the barn," he choked, unable to hold his own tears back. "I knew better – I'm to blame."

"No," Michaela shook her head against his chest. "There is no point in this," she mumbled feeling Sully's tears wet her hair. Softly pushing herself free from his arms she determinedly started to dry her tears. "Greta needs me," she quietly stated, once again avoiding her husband's eyes trying to pull herself together. "And frankly; I don't feel comfortable trusting James with her care just yet," she explained. "Not after what happened with Loren."

"Let me then." Both of them jumped hearing Colleen's unexpected voice coming from the door.

"Colleen!" Michaela was instantly by her daughter's side, attempting to lead her towards the nearest chair. "What are you doing here?" she worriedly demanded. "You ought to be in bed!"

"So do you," Colleen simply responded, breaking free from her mother, determined to stand her ground.

Helplessly Michaela turned towards Sully, but was only met by his equally surprised and worried expression, as he held up his hands as if saying he had no idea about what was going on either. "Last time I saw her she was tucked in bed at home," he truthfully defended himself.

"Look Ma," Colleen stepped closer to really face her mother, "Sully is right; you were not the only one losing Ingrid – we all did and besides: You asked me to join your practice," she paused and her still badly bruised face formed an almost cheeky smile, "and I'm merely accepting."

"Well, I can't even begin to explain how happy that makes me, but I didn't mean for you to start now. You have been through a lot and right now I want you to rest and allow you body to heal," Michaela began to explain, putting a protecting hand on Colleen's upper arm while silently communicating to her husband to help her bring their daughter home.

"No Ma," Colleen stubbornly shook her head. "I know you mean well, but I'm not a child and you can't tell me what to do."

Really starting to work up herself, her hands came to rest on her hips as she sternly eyed the one person she had always considered her master. "I'm a doctor too now Ma, and I'm telling you to go home and rest!"

Really not knowing what to make of the scene that was taking place before him, Sully held his breath waiting for his for once totally quiet wife to react. Shocked, she just stood there staring at her little girl who during a few seconds had become a splitting image of herself. Clenching his teeth so as not to show a slightly amused grin, Sully couldn't help but wonder if Michaela actually saw the strong resemblance.

"You're sure you're up to this?" Sully carefully asked, glancing between Colleen and his still uncharacteristically quiet wife; grateful for the opportunity to take Michaela home for a much needed rest but feeling strongly hesitant for leaving their beloved daughter behind. After all the events of the last few weeks he felt a strong urge to have all his girls safely tucked in under the same roof.

"I will be fine, I promise," Colleen assured, urging Sully to make the decision for her stubborn mother. "And if anything happens I will send Matthew out to get you," she promised.

Walking up behind his wife and softly putting his hands on her tense shoulders, he leaned in and quietly whispered in her ear: "Come on Michaela. This is a battle you won't win. Let's go home and get some rest."

Seeing fresh tears starting to well up in her mother's already bloodshot eyes, Colleen instantly regretted her outburst. "I'm sorry Ma, I didn't mean to…" she started but was cut short by Michaela who tiredly brought her hands up to cover her face in an attempt to stop her tears. "No Colleen," she hoarsely whispered. "I'm sorry for crying," she managed, offering her terrified daughter an embarrassed smile through the tears. "I didn't mean to tell you what to do; I didn't mean to make you feel this way… I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Please Ma," Colleen tried to cut in, feeling her own tears burning behind her eyelids, but Michaela clearly wasn't done.

"I'm turning into my mother!" Michaela exclaimed horrified, causing all three of them to burst into a most unexpected laugh.

Colleen smiled but couldn't help but feel a slight tear in her heart seeing Sully's arms encircling her mother's waist, pulling her in to a loving and yet playful embrace from behind while leaning forward to place a soft kiss on her good cheek. Seeing the pure love that her parents so obviously shared with each other made her feel both safe and happy, but at the same time it was a reminder of what she would never have. What she never had. To be completely true to herself she had always known Andrew and she didn't share that special kind of bound her parents did, but how many did anyway? They had been good friends and they had loved each other – wasn't that more than most marriages were founded on? Oh God! How did it end up like this? What had she done wrong?

"Will you forgive me?" Colleen was brought back to reality by her mother's anxious voice. "Please?" she almost inaudibly added, her still tear-filled eyes communicating both love and remorse.

"Oh Mom," Colleen cried, stepping forward to affectionately falling into her mother's warm embrace. "I'm sorry too – for getting upset," she mumbled against her mother's shoulder.

"I wish I could promise you it won't happen again," Michaela whispered, treasuring the moment holding her eldest daughter close, "but you will always be my little girl and I fear I will always feel the need to protect you," she confessed, causing Colleen to laugh through her tears.

"I wouldn't want it any other way," the younger woman heartily admitted. "I love you, Ma."

"And I love you," Michaela responded, giving her daughter a final hug before pulling away in order to get eye-contact once more. "Colleen, I saw your work in Boston, I saw how your patients trusted you and even if I hadn't witnessed that I have always known you would be a great doctor. I guess I haven't told you enough, but I do trust you Colleen, and I really do need you. I'm so proud of you and the woman you have become, and if I ever step on your toes again you must promise me to tell me off!"

"I promise," Colleen managed to choke, fighting hard not to let her own tears run free down her smiling face. "Starting now: Go home Ma," she playfully demand, pointing towards the door. "Sleep tight," she added whispering while she saw Sully helping her mother out the door, holding her tightly to his side. "Sleep tight."


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

The first rays of light were looking through the curtains and highlighting the still visible but finally fading bruise on Michaela's otherwise peaceful face, as she laid sound asleep next to him in the bed that he had made her for their wedding all those years ago. Curled up on his side, Sully just laid there watching her, savoring the feeling of being close. He hadn't felt this rested for days now, unable to really relax without his Heart Song safely tucked in beside him. Fearing to wake her from her most needed sleep and breaking the magical moment, he fought the urge to reach out and touch her sleeping form. Allowing his lips to move but without an actual sound escaping them, he once again thanked Mother Earth for allowing him this precious gift in his life. Closing his eyes he could still remember seeing her that very first time as she walked behind the Reverend and unfortunately paid the group of Indians, including himself, too much attention and ended up face down in a pool of mud. Sully smiled to himself; even falling on her face she had managed to make look graceful. And there was the first time he had actually been allowed to look into the beautiful eyes of hers; unique mismatched eyes that had reflected an intense mix of fear, wonder and strength. For a brief moment they had connected, and for that brief moment he had felt alive. Never in his wildest dreams had he even dared to imagine that day that this extraordinary woman standing before him in the store would one day consider being his wife. Yes, he would forever thank Mother Earth for bringing his true Heart Song to him.

Sully held his breath hearing the familiar sound of a horse approaching, willing his normally very easily woken Michaela not to alert. Her eyelashes moved a little but she didn't budge. It was early – too early for visitors, but from the sound he could tell the horse was coming in a calm walk, which hopefully meant there was no emergency. Using all the will power and body control he possibly possessed, he slowly crept out of the warmness of the bed without disturbing his wife. He barely got to the window in time to see Matthew lead his horse into the barn.

"Hey!" Matthew jumped at Sully's unexpected whisper as he quietly entered the Sullys' homestead.

"Didn't mean to wake you," Matthew hoarsely apologized, tiredness shining in his bloodshot eyes.

"You okay?" Sympathetically, Sully walked up and put a supporting hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"Yeah, just tired I guess," Matthew replied, offering an attempt of a smile. "Colleen sent me home," he added, "said it was time for some girl talk." Putting on a serious face, he underlined his next statement with repeated nods: "Didn't take no for an answer – she might actually be worse than Dr Mike," he heartily joked, causing Sully to chuckle.

"Well, I'm glad she sent you. You sure look as if you need the rest," Sully said, giving Matthew's back a friendly slap.

"How's Dr Mike?" Matthew suddenly grew serious.

"Sleeping," Sully simply reassured.

"Good," Matthew nodded.

"You wanna have the extra cot in Brian's room?" Sully offered.

"Na, don't wanna wake him," Matthew determinedly shook his head while doubtfully eyeing the quite steep stairs leading to the bedrooms on the second floor. "And to be totally honest; I'm not even sure I would have the energy to climb those stairs," he confessed. "Will just bunk on your couch if that's okay with you?" Matthew asked, gesturing towards the living room.

Offering the exhausted younger man a sympathetic smile Sully once again reached out and gave his shoulder a supporting squeeze, before turning him around and gently guiding him towards the living room and the most needed rest. Quietly he stopped and picked up Michaela's warm wool-blanket from one of the wingback chairs and handed it to Matthew who had already crashed on the couch. Walking up to the remaining glow in the fireplace, Sully skillfully brought it back to life before adding a few new logs.

"Well, I'm glad you came here," Sully stated turning back towards Matthew, only to realize the young man had already fallen asleep. Softly smiling Sully adjusted the blanket, making it cover as much of Matthew as possibly. "Sleep well, Son," he whispered, before creeping out of the room and towards the warmness of his own bed beside his beloved Michaela.

* * *

Colleen thoughtfully turned down the oil-lamp in front of her. The morning-light had finally begun to fill the room and she no longer needed the extra light to read the opened book before her. Glancing out the window she could tell it would be a beautiful autumn day, most likely cold since the clear sky held an almost icy shade of blue. Oh, how she had missed Colorado's fresh mountain air. Once again casting a glance at the beautiful carved clock on the wall she decided it was still too early to see Greta. She really wanted to sit down with the young woman but realized it would probably be better to allow her to wake up of her own accord. Breathing out a slightly impatient sigh, she turned her attention back towards the desk before her. Her mother's desk. Letting her hands wander over the slightly worn but well-polished surface she couldn't help but feel a sting in her heart seeing the so familiar piece of furniture standing in the to her still unfamiliar room. It wasn't that her mother's new office was unpleasant at all – on the contrary; it was a light and beautiful room that undoubtedly held the warm and tasteful touch of her mother as well as the characteristic handicraft of her father. It was just that this desk had been such strong part of the old clinic, and just like her mother had said in Boston, the walls of the old building held so much history. Even though this new building was so much more suiting as a hospital the old clinic would always be just that; their clinic. Taking a deep breath she forced herself to concentrate on the book she had been studying ever since she had managed to get Matthew to leave. It wasn't a very complicated chapter and it definitely wasn't a new one to her, but it was the first time she had allowed herself to study the development of a fetus since she had first realized she was expecting. Letting her forefinger of her right hand softly wander over one of the detailed drawings on the paper before her, her left one instinctively sought the small bump on her stomach.

"Good morning, Michaela." Astounded, Colleen looked up as the door suddenly burst open and the man, who in haste had been introduced to her as Dr Smith that very first evening back in Colorado, that awful night that they had lost Mr Bray, practically stumbled into the office carrying two cups of coffee. The apparently eager young doctor had almost reached the desk as he became aware of his mistake. Abruptly halting, he accidently sent most of the hot fluid over his hands and clothes.

"Fuck!" James reacted, before realizing he just made a bigger fool of himself.

"You okay? Did you hurt your hands?" Colleen was instantly on her feet, releasing him from the cups and putting them on the table.

"I, I, I'm sorry," James embarrassedly stammered, trying to hide his hands behind his back while starting backwards towards the door, but unfortunately missing the doorway and ending up against the wall.

"Let me see," Colleen gently requested, walking up to the man.

"No!" James face had turned bright red. "I'm sorry, I mean they're good. Promise," he tried to convince her.

"But you haven't even looked yet," Colleen objected. "We both are doctors – why don't we look together?"

Starting to realize the silliness of his own behavior, James finally offered Colleen a careful smile.

"Dr. Cook," he politely acknowledged the woman doctor before him, revealing his hands from behind his back and holding them out for her to see.

"Dr. Smith," she responded, offering him a friendly smile in return while softly taking his hands in her own, thoroughly examining the slightly red skin. "I must agree with your diagnose, Doctor," she continued. "Your skin is a little irritated by the heat but you're right; they are fine," she smiled, grateful for what she had chosen to see as approval. Approval, which she so rarely received from male colleagues.

"I'm so very sorry for bursting in on you like this, I saw the light and I thought, I mean I assumed it was Michaela, I mean Dr Quinn…" James rambled, clearly still not completely at ease.

"Well, I sent her home for some sleep, but I wouldn't turn down a cup of coffee nor some nice company," Colleen gently invited, trying her best to set her new colleague at ease. "There is still some coffee left, and if you got the time I would be really grateful if you could talk me through this hospital's routines," she requested, and was rewarded with a nod and a genuine smile.

* * *

Her eyelids felt heavy, her mind blissfully blank as her aching body relaxed against the soft bed. Her bed – she didn't have to fully wake up to know that; her nostrils were filled with the scent of home – of him. Ever so lightly she felt his lips against her eyelids, on her forehead, her nose and finally to brush against her own.

"Hey sleepy head," Sully softly whispered against her lips, before moving back enough to see the mouth he loved so much curl up, forming the tiniest of smiles, but she didn't open her eyes. He had been watching her for a while and seen her eyelids start to move so he knew she was starting to wake up. Smiling he leaned forward and repeated his little kissing game, only this time, as he reached her mouth, she suddenly responded, deepening the feather-light kiss to a real one.

"Mmmmm…" Michaela smiled against his lips. "This is what I call a good morning."

"Morning?" Sully chuckled. "Its lunchtime," he corrected, causing Michaela to bolt straight up in bed.

"What?! Why didn't you wake me? I need to go to the hospital!" she yelled, throwing the bed covers aside and was just about to get out of bed when she felt Sully's arm over her midsection holding her down.

"Both Colleen and James are in there now, remember? They will send for you if you are needed," he gently reassured.

"But Matthew…" she started, but was cut short by Sully.

"…is sleeping on the couch downstairs," he calmly filled her in. "Colleen apparently pulled her 'time for a girl-talk' rank on him and sent him home early this morning. Just came from checking on him; and he's still sleeping," Sully assured.

"But Brian and Katie," she once again started to object, "I have hardly seen them the last few days, and now when I'm finally home I have spent half the day sleeping! What kind of mother am I? I need to make sure they had breakfast and start lunch," she rambled trying to free herself from Sully's firm grip.

"They had breakfast. Had an early start and went out for a long ride," Sully smiled. "The only one needing you right now is me," he pleaded using his puppy-eye look.

"Sully…" She tried to object but was unable to hide a crocked smile.

"I made you breakfast," Sully tried to bribe, still not letting go of his puppy-look, knowing it was wearing his wife's defense down.

"You did, huh?" she playfully joked, while snuggling back down beside her husband. "Anything that can be eaten while lying?"


End file.
